Hobby tainted

www.bbcearth.com/news/plants-have-feelings-too

Also baffled by the comments about her lack of commitment to her hobby..

She's an adult who's raised children, presumably has a job. Does any adult in those circumstances have unlimited time and focus for a hobby? It's quite normal to have something you enjoy, but have periods where you don't pursue it. But then you feel like you want to do it again. The fact that she keeps coming back to it means that it is a genuine interest for her and not something she's not that bothered about.

There are so many things i've been interested in for most of my life, but for whatever reason I don't have the resources or time to pursue them. Therefore, occasionally they still crop up again.In my life and I have another go.

Some of these MN posters make your family look positively saint-like in their attack. Petty me would go and buy 8 trains and crack on with my hobby😉

Also baffled by the comments about her lack of commitment to her hobby..

She's an adult who's raised children, presumably has a job. Does any adult in those circumstances have unlimited time and focus for a hobby? It's quite normal to have something you enjoy, but have periods where you don't pursue it. But then you feel like you want to do it again. The fact that she keeps coming back to it means that it is a genuine interest for her and not something she's not that bothered about.

There are so many things i've been interested in for most of my life, but for whatever reason I don't have the resources or time to pursue them. Therefore, occasionally they still crop up again.In my life and I have another go.

I know you think you're being clever, but really, you just sound silly.

Why all the mystery? What is the hobby?

Tell them all to mind their own business , do NOT feel guilty and just enjoy your hobby. My God, there’s far worse things you could be participating in! Remember, at the end of the day we might be wives, mothers etc but we are still all individual people who are entitled to have lives hobbies etc that do not involve anyone else and like I said none of anyone else’s business!

Tell them all to mind their own business , do NOT feel guilty and just enjoy your hobby. My God, there’s far worse things you could be participating in! Remember, at the end of the day we might be wives, mothers etc but we are still all individual people who are entitled to have lives hobbies etc that do not involve anyone else and like I said none of anyone else’s business!

You two need to meet up and get your “mean girls” chat on.
Have you voted, or are you still cackling about what a petulant cretinous burden I am?

Spend more time on your hobby! If they have a problem, tell them your trains don’t make fun of you and leave it at that.

I have an on and off hobby that is now on again. My DH and DCs were fairly contemptuous about it this morning. They reminded me of all the times I’d given up said hobby, mocked my tendency to carried away with it when I’m enjoying it, and made me feel really shit about it. An example (I’ll use train sets) was when DC showed indignation that I was planning to buy 4 trains for my train set instead of 1. DH, who knew I was planning to buy 4 trains, remained silent instead of diffusing the situation by explaining, “O, yes, NiceChianti and I had discussed this and I knew she was going to buy 4.” He seemed to enjoy the challenge they were putting up and how it gathered strength.

I felt horrible throughout this. “You can’t blame us,” was their common statement, as I tend to drop in and out of the hobby, but I explained that this was true of many people, and for many hobbies. DH had bought me a train for my birthday last month so I thought he was supportive - it’s all very confusing. I explained that my hobby doesn’t take me away from them - it’s not like I go cycling every Sunday, for example, but they just continued in this attack. DH started listing times he had been asked to fix one of my trains (twice), how I always returned trains to the shop for exchanges (several times), how he was worried it would take over again (I had already promised not to get more than the 4 trains), my DC were joining in, and now my hobby is completely tainted.

DH then left to do his hobby for a couple of hours, and returned saying he could have handled it differently, but I am shell shocked and sad. I don’t want to do anything to do with my hobby now, and I am still reeling from their united, emphatic, contemptuous front.
Keeping and maintaining and building a train set is a good analogy - my hobby is nothing weird or extreme, and plenty of people do it.

Do I stop it (YABU) or carry on (YANBU)?

She’s not just “discarding” the fish as someone upthread has described it. She either finds them a new owner or takes them back to the pet shop where no doubt they will get a new owner. Is anyone seriously suggesting that fish have feelings to the extent they will have bonded with her and be sad that they are now in a different fish tank in someone’s else’s home?
I am strongly pro animal rights but I think these fish will be ok as long as they have appropriate food and clean water in a nice tank. They are not going to be swimming round and round saying we miss OP! take us back to OP! OP was the best!
Totally different scenario from adopting a puppy, bonding with it, then sending it back to the shelter. That’s cruel, and that’s what’s meant by “discarding”.

She's giving them away on Ebay, which you aren't supposed to do, and Gumtree. Who knows what people are actually buying them from there.

And taking them back to the shop will unsettle them. Sure they're "just fish" but they will still be aware of changes in water and light etc. It might still shorten their life span

This is such a weird thread.
what ON EARTH is this hobby??? If the op would just fess up we could give a sensible answer …

She’s not just “discarding” the fish as someone upthread has described it. She either finds them a new owner or takes them back to the pet shop where no doubt they will get a new owner. Is anyone seriously suggesting that fish have feelings to the extent they will have bonded with her and be sad that they are now in a different fish tank in someone’s else’s home?
I am strongly pro animal rights but I think these fish will be ok as long as they have appropriate food and clean water in a nice tank. They are not going to be swimming round and round saying we miss OP! take us back to OP! OP was the best!
Totally different scenario from adopting a puppy, bonding with it, then sending it back to the shelter. That’s cruel, and that’s what’s meant by “discarding”.

Of course not

Any sympathy she had for her family being cruel was lost when it became clear she was treating live animals like toys to discard

I expect that's the real reason she was so cagey and making poor analogies to buying trains and trading Pokemon cards

Your solution seems a bit cruel to plants.

Yes, she absolutely is discarding them. They may not miss her in the same way as a dog or a cat, but she's still buying live animals, "playing" with them for a while and then getting rid of them when she loses interest.

Why not just grow plants or something instead? Why buy and discard live animals on a repeat cycle?