Hobby tainted

I think the children’s ages are very relevant here. They are on the cusp of adulthood and I remember it with my own children and their friends. They try and communicate like they think adults do with each other and they frequently overshoot or miss the mark with their tone (what may have been considered cheeky or impertinent when younger). They’re testing their new freedom and skills and they had a prime target with you this morning, seemingly with the encouragement from dad unfortunately. I suspect it’s their tone and overly harsh seeming words that upset you, plus a grain of truth that you are a bit fickle with the passion for your hobby.

Just let it go, they’re testing their wings and boundaries like they did as young children. Or if you feel really strongly, tell them they upset you and that you feel it went past good natured ribbing and to watch their tone in the future. Enjoy your hobby - sounds harmless x

It’s perfectly normal to pick up and put down hobbies. I’ve just picked up swimming again. I did it every day almost for 3 years, then just stopped - life, big work projects, a few winter illnesses, etc. - all got in the way and I didn’t have the time, focus, or energy to keep it up. I go through phases of reading all the books by an author or a genre and then reading nothing for months. At the moment I’m in my regency romance era (which is odd for me as I’m usually a crime thriller or modern fiction fan) and it’ll switch to something else at some point.

In your shoes I’d just say, ‘This is my hobby. I enjoy it, even if I’m not practicing it all the time. I like thinking about it, planning it, and reading about it. You can tease me as much as you like, but it won’t change anything. If you want to be useful, keep an eye out for x,y or z)’.

I don't get it!
Why do they care? You've said it's not a money issue, the hobby isn't expensive. Don't your loved ones want you to live a happy, fulfilled life?

How is your family life? Does having a hobby take you away from being your family's maid servant? Are you the only woman in the house? Is this misogyny? "Silly little Chianti and her silly little hobby"?

Why are you allowing them so much power over your leisure time and, more importantly, your feelings?

No idea what your hobby is, so... Go buy a crate full of trains and plant them in worm casting/coir/compost mix under grow lights in the living room, while knitting cosies for the plant pots from your self spun alpaca yarn. Then make sure to find time to create mini replicas of all of this in your dolls house, watched over by your hand painted reborn baby doll sat on your unicycle before you sit down to a nice game of wingspan while on a zoom call with your local WI.
And don't give your family's opinion on the matter a flying home made chocolate fudge cake

Bottles of Chianti? :)

Let me just say that at 16 my DD found me and my hobbies terribly embarassing. By 21 she thought I was very cool.
Do less for them and be far less available.

What’s the cloak and dagger with the actual hobby? It’s an anonymous forum.

I wonder if your emotional reaction to it is connected to a perception that middle aged women are embarrassing generally. With our weird hormones and bleedy bodies and mood swings and Karen tendencies and unwanted opinions and shrill voices. Middle aged women aren't supposed to have interesting inner lives and rich interests and things we care about that are not our homes and families. And I wonder whether it comes as a particularly huge disappointment to hear an echo of those views from your own family.

This.

I wouldn't allow my DCs to talk to me like that without consequences - lifts somewhere, clothes washed. I'm sure you can think of some other forms of petty revenge to help them learn some manners.

Go and enjoy your hobby OP, and sod 'em.

No. You do your thing and tell them to buzz orff! People in families like to mock other people. Don't let yourself be 'derailed' from your trainset!

Yeah but then you end up finishing a big blanket in March as it warms up- knit through summer on a lounger and in autumn you’ll have a nice stash of handmade beauties to look forward to!

Do you tend to talk about your hobby when you interested in it - many people won’t share you enthusiasm or interest particularly if you drop it and then pick it up and then drop and so on.
Perhaps it’s time to just go about your hobby as and when you like without running commentary to anyone in ear shot. That why there’s no pressure and no family who are obviously fed up with said hobby chat

So they mocked you for blowing hot and cold on your hobby, and on the strength of that, you’ve given it up? It sounds like they had a point.

Your family are so weird and so controlling. Is your husband controlling? Is that where your kids have learnt it?

They have very little respect for you.

Sorry but you sound very dramatic OP. It's fairly usual to pick up and put down hobbies (I don't knit or crochet in summer for example as I prefer to do more walking, crafting is more for winter in my book). But are you sure you're not really obsessive about the hobby? Buying four of something if you haven't done it for a while is a bit over the space. Enjoy it, but don't obsess and pace yourself. It sounds to me that your family are used to your "full on" or "full off" approach and perhaps get a bit tired of it when it's full on?

Oh lovely! 🐟

Why do you stop periodically though? (That sounds like maybe you’re really bad at it and they all kark it 😅 )

Theyre probably just jealous at the fuss the fishies get.

My family neg me about my yarn stash all the time

Actual fish in the home? That does sound like something you have to either do or not do. Are they worried because the my get left to look after the fish? Do the fish die when you neglect them? Is it a very expensive/space requiring type of fish you keep?

Fellow Puff Puff Buff here

So what trains are you after/interested in??

do you let the fish die when you lose interest?

Ah, see I wondered this!

Fresh or salt? I may or may not have had several thousand litres worth of reef tanks in my house at one point. 😂

Okay cool while only you can know that but the hyperbole and overreaction in my opinion stands. Using the word shell shocked to describe your family giving you stick about your hobby unfortunately leads a reader to believe given your hyperbole that you couldn’t see that it wasn’t that serious.

Your husband is nasty and contemptuous and unfortunately your teens have taken their lead from him.

I think you should ignore them, spend even MORE time on this hobby and take up another one for good measure - which should be one that takes you out of the house in the evenings or weekends.

I think you should also evaluate how much you are doing for the 3 adults in your house and start sharing out the chores / housework / cooking etc a bit more. Because they clearly all think of you as their servant who isn’t entitled to any time off / anything for herself.

Surely your teens have given up a hobby at some point and then gone back to it? It's fairly typical. How odd of them.

I would want to answer the next request for a non-urgent lift to a friend's house or similar with 'sorry, going to be deep in my embarrassing hobby, you'll have to get yourself there'.

DH then left to do his hobby for a couple of hours, and returned saying he could have handled it differently
Interesting. Did anything get said about his hobby?