Hobby tainted

In my house what you are talking about would have been thought of as light piss-taking and no one would have changed any of their behaviour. I'm guessing your hobby is a bit niche and not everyone's cup of tea. So I'm not sure why other people expressing that and joking about would have you so offended or considering never doing it again.

OP, I clearly remember the day I told my family, Sunday lunch, that I'd booked horse riding lessons. I'd always wanted to learn, I was so excited. Everyone laughed at me, went on about the expense, why on earth I wanted to do it, bet it won't last ........
If anything, it fuelled my fire. I learnt how to ride a horse and even did a few jumps. I reached my planned goal and I was happy.
Now, using that as an example, if I'd brought all the equipment and hadn't completed the lessons only to start up again later, I could understand the ribbing I'd get.
Is it a skill based hobby OP? Otherwise, I don't see why it would raise comments like you have.

Sorry, @Nicechianti, I missed your 'fishy' update while I was one finger phone typing my reply above. When I was a girl my brother had a tank of tropical fish, they were mesmerising... 😁 🐠 💦 🩵

I have just realised that I might have typed my first response to you after one of those "false" "trending" messages we get half way down the page, because I thought I was replying to you after only one or two pages 🙈

Agree, how could you spend so long caring for them, looking after them and every now and then look at them and you 'meh wee fishy...you bore me, off you go to Gumtree to a random'...

Your username, paired with a discussion of 'hobbies', really gives one pause.

Is it Lego?

I think your hobby being revealed does change things. I had fish for years but kept them as pets (literally lived nearly 15 years one of them) and just simple cold water but a huge tank and it needed alot of work to keep it in lovely conditions.

You're sounds a little like a fun science experiment for you in ways and I can totally see how interesting it'd be, almost like being a marine biologist for a while, but I can't really get past the exchanges and swapping, ebay and gumtree etc. Gumtree famously not ideal for giving or swapping or selling pets, do you vet the buyer and their set up at home? Seems a shame for the fish too, when you think about quarantine between set ups etc, passed about and changing their environment.

Just seems strange to be a pick up put down hobby but with living things, bur perhaps that's just me!

I have only read all of your posts @Nicechianti, but I have read some of the other PPs and, of course, the ones you highlighted in your replies. I will probably be told that I am being far too dramatic here as well, by so many of the nasty Mumsnetters who have replied to you. I have unfallen tears in both my eyes, just thinking about you enthusiastically sharing with your loved ones about how you are returning to your hobby, and about the four new "trains" you intend buying; just for them to wipe out your pleasure in one fell swoop, with the equivalent to 3 hard slaps across your face!

I can just imagine your disappointment at your children's nasty behaviour, and your very real, and legitimate hurt, at your not so (D)H doing an invisible about turn, and siding with, and encouraging your children to behave so horribly. It almost seems as if he had warned your children - probably sarcastically - about Mum wanting to take up her hobby again, so that when you told them, (D)Dad had already wound them up? Is there any reason why your husband would be either jealous of your hobby, or jealous of the two hours at a time it would mean you weren't available for "houewifey duties", 🤢 or maternal duties (at your children's ages their need of you in day to day matters should be much decreased), or even "intimate wifely duties" 🤮

You have my utmost sympathy fellow chianti drinker, and please have no doubts about the fact that it is your miserable - at the moment, family, who are behaving very badly, and in the wrong here, not you! 🍷🍫🌺

I'd have ethical concerns but that's not my business. If any of your family had etihical concerns, I'd get their commenting but they should still keep it polite.

Your teens have the emotional intelligence and life experience of lentils. Not singling them out for criticism at all but they're at an age where they're CONVINCED they know All The Things so it's not surprising they think they know more about hobbies than you do. Hopefully everyone's reactions today have helped you get to a place where you can tell them to wind their necks in next time they decide they're in a position to dictate how you spend your precious free time? If not tell them fine, but you expect to be able to do the same to them, and they can look forward to taking up their new hobbies of lacework, Wagner appreciation and vintage stamp collecting next weekend.

So you play around with live animals until you get bored with them?

That might just explain why your family are pissy

But seriously, who swaps fish like Pokemon cards and takes 2 hours making a mess?

It really is fishkeeping? I thought you were joking!

@MrTiddlesTheCat Ahh you beat me to it! 😅

It sounds like to me that you perceived that your family was trying to shame you, whether that was their actual intention or not it triggered some sort of deep shame from your own childhood around your interests and hobbies.

From what you've described it does sound like sharks circling as they smell blood - your vulnerability - and this is the last thing you expect from your family.

I have found that older teens can know us so well and seem to go in for the jugular so fucking effectively, for no apparent reason! There's safety in numbers, it's a weird dynamic and not nice to be on the receiving end.

The best thing to do is rise above it and don't take it personally, shake it off like water off a duck's back and do what makes you happy with your hobby.

My guess is taxidermy. Roadkill over every table, dressed in waistcoats and wearing monocles.

Struggling to see the issue. The only way you can prevent them going on is to remain consistent and keep up the hobby. Otherwise just laugh it off! It isn’t that deep.

What these two said ^

I'd be tempted to say something like 'If I made a pie chart of the time I have spent/do spend on stuff for the whole family and the time I spend on stuff for me you'd see that mocking me about it is a total dick move. Stop trying to make my life smaller, and don't dare say you're only joking. Mention it like that again and I'll just start dropping some of the favours I do for you lot. Fucking playground bullies.'

Kinda thing. (Love tropicals and marines but cba to have my own).

I was so thinking this!

In your shoes, I would be telling DC in no uncertain terms that you'll spend money on what you enjoy and they can lump it. When they earn money and support themselves, they will spend their income as they see fit. Unless you are taking food out of their mouths and clothes off their back, they can should suck it up. And DH should have been supporting you.

I'd get a large shark. Or an octopus. Or piranhas