I have an on and off hobby that is now on again. My DH and DCs were fairly contemptuous about it this morning. They reminded me of all the times I’d given up said hobby, mocked my tendency to carried away with it when I’m enjoying it, and made me feel really shit about it. An example (I’ll use train sets) was when DC showed indignation that I was planning to buy 4 trains for my train set instead of 1. DH, who knew I was planning to buy 4 trains, remained silent instead of diffusing the situation by explaining, “O, yes, NiceChianti and I had discussed this and I knew she was going to buy 4.” He seemed to enjoy the challenge they were putting up and how it gathered strength.
I felt horrible throughout this. “You can’t blame us,” was their common statement, as I tend to drop in and out of the hobby, but I explained that this was true of many people, and for many hobbies. DH had bought me a train for my birthday last month so I thought he was supportive - it’s all very confusing. I explained that my hobby doesn’t take me away from them - it’s not like I go cycling every Sunday, for example, but they just continued in this attack. DH started listing times he had been asked to fix one of my trains (twice), how I always returned trains to the shop for exchanges (several times), how he was worried it would take over again (I had already promised not to get more than the 4 trains), my DC were joining in, and now my hobby is completely tainted.
DH then left to do his hobby for a couple of hours, and returned saying he could have handled it differently, but I am shell shocked and sad. I don’t want to do anything to do with my hobby now, and I am still reeling from their united, emphatic, contemptuous front.
Keeping and maintaining and building a train set is a good analogy - my hobby is nothing weird or extreme, and plenty of people do it.
Do I stop it (YABU) or carry on (YANBU)?