Hobby tainted

The 16 yr old is a daughter

derailing but I am into dollhouses and miniatures too. Am refurbishing a 1940's home built one, my first full refurbish. Are you on facebook? take a look at this guy. https://www.facebook.com/fernando.yumul.3

Although I agree with most of your post I do disagree that it’s not wrong to ask DH to fix things to do with her on/off hobby.

If my DH got into cycling on and off, I would be annoyed if he was asking me to clean his bike, change his tyres or take him places etc.

Hobbies are great but they shouldn’t interfere with family life and on the 2 days off a week you have, they shouldn’t be taken up by something someone else has chosen to do.

I think if an adult takes on a hobby, they ts their responsibility.

how he was worried it would take over again (I had already promised not to get more than the 4 trains) How are they claiming it’s taking over?
Well depends if op means 4 fish or 4 fish tanks...

I can hyper fixate and so you have my understanding.

But I try and keep my fixations to myself and try not to let them interfere with anyone else.

My sister on the other hand is awful!
It is mentally draining hearing about her latest hobby and you know it’s not going to last.

I do judge you a bit though too because this isn’t taking up running or dolls houses, these are live animals.

I’m sure you take care of them but your attitude towards them is awful and not a good influence on your kids.

You should be teaching them that is pet is a responsibility that should take serious consideration and should only be gotten rid of in extreme cases when you can’t for it etc, not just because you’re bored with it now and can’t be bothered.

Tell them to piss off and go right on enjoying your hobby. Be your own person. No one should have this much power over your emotions even if they are your DH and DC. If possible, get your "trains" out and spread them all over the place! 🤣 Inconvenience the doubters as much as possible!

Edit: Just saw that it's fishkeeping. Definitely can't spread fish all over the place....but maybe books about fish, hang pictures of fish, and buy fish-themed decor! I wonder if you can buy fish-themed loo roll....and you could surprise them with fish duvet covers! 🤣

Fishkeeping is a COOL hobby! Relatives had large tropical-fish tanks for years. It was great to watch them. Are yours tropical or marine? Marines are extremely pretty but difficult to keep.

Thing is, it doesn't matter what the hobby is. The fact is you were ganged up on and bullied by your own family until you felt like shit.

They need to hear that they've hurt you, you need to shut down any backtalk or explanations to that. Tell them you're going to process that hurt and none of them better not ask anything of you for the minute.

Tell your bloke that if that shit happens again then you'll lose all respect for him.

DH started listing times he had been asked to fix one of my trains (twice) You’ve asked him to fix your fish? If it’s the tanks you’re asking him to fix, then how is that a problem? You do stuff for him, don’t you? Why is it wrong to ask him to do something to help you?

how I always returned trains to the shop for exchanges (several times) This would make me a bit uncomfortable, but I admit I don’t know much about fish other than what I’ve learned from Finding Nemo, which I acknowledge may not be entirely factual. Do they struggle being moved from place to place?

how he was worried it would take over again (I had already promised not to get more than the 4 trains) How are they claiming it’s taking over?

my DC were joining in, and now my hobby is completely tainted No it’s not, you’re just being silly. You enjoy it. You keep coming back to it. Your family have just been a bit arseholey about it. They don’t have the power to take your enjoyment away from you because you aren’t six years old. Stand up for yourself. Tell your DH all the things that irritate you about his hobby. Remind your DC of all the tedious and boring things you sat through when they were growing up simply because they enjoyed it. Tell them that you’re not spending the mortgage money. You’re not neglecting anyone or anything in favour of it (although if they do claim this, tell them you’ll be coming out with them next time they go out with their mates, to spend some quality time together) and it’s sod all to do with them. Remind all three of them that you’re a grown adult, and that there are plenty of things they do that you don’t like, so they need to mind their own business.

Oh sorry, I thought that was a joke. Fish keeping. I still think it’s joke.

Mrs Mac the housekeeper has a delightful chatelaine and is generally splendid.

Sorry, I forget the dolls house poster's name.

I thought I'd read it upthread somewhere but it must have been another poster. Either way I'm not sure the sexes of her DC are really relevant here.

How do you know?

Now I know the hobby is fish keeping, I do have to say that my dad has always had big aquariums and I used to hate it when he was cleaning the tank and changing the water etc at the weekend. It was always very messy and there's a specific fish tank smell I'll never forget. So I do get where they're coming from, especially if after a while you just give the fish back.

Sorry I posted too soon! The OP has said what the hobby is!

To those posters who keep asking what the hobby is OP already said it's fishkeeping, which honestly I would never have compared to trains or dolls or pokemon cards. They are living creatures that shouldn't just be sold on ebay/gumtree or returned to the pet shop (or fish restaurant 😱)

To those posters who keep asking what the hobby is OP already said it's fishkeeping, which honestly I would never have compared to trains or dolls or pokemon cards. They are living creatures that shouldn't just be sold on ebay/gumtree or returned to the pet shop (or fish restaurant 😱)

Well, I'm obsessed with plants - buying them, caring for them, moving them about, generally treating them like tiny pampered children - and my DH and kid think it's hilarious and constantly rib me about it in very similar terms, OP, so you're not alone but perhaps you're taking it slightly more seriously than intended?

YABVVU to put the word hobby in the title of your thread, and not tell what the hobby actually is.

I think MN need to ban any posters who discuss their or their DH/DP’s hobby but don’t disclose what said hobby actually is.

On that basis I’ll comment no further.

She doesn't actually buy trains. She gets fish and then gets bored of them.

Arent fish a pet not a hobby?

Isnt that getting a pet opposed to a hobby?

@Nicechianti I don't understand what the issue is. 4 trains are not expensive.

I have a hobby of dolls houses. I have 2 enormous houses - we talking 2 metres high. One is complete the second is work in progress. they take up most of our 3rd bedroom - with the boxes of accessories, tools to make stuff etc.

DH & DCs think I'm bonkers. I pick up some items at auctions, but most is made by me. For example I'm currently spending hours turning wooden stirrers into floorboards, & now have developed a way of making them into parquet flooring. I make clothes for my dolls & spend hours researching costumes for the right period, making patterns & then the clothes. I But DH complains that this room is unusable because it's my 'hobby room' (as well as my office when WFH). However, it's my money that I've earned, not his money so he can't object to that. We have another room with bunk beds & a double bed that DCs & GC can stay in when they come to stay. As 2 out of our 3 DCs live locally we only ever have GC staying. The other DC lives abroad & usually stays with one of our other DCs when they're in the country so we're not depriving them of the pleasure of their visits.

I put up with the jibes about Nanny's dolls house as the DC are rather impressed when I get the lights working & show them what I'm working on.

I've uploaded a picture of my housekeeper (Mrs Mac) who I repurposed from a doll bought as a discontinued item for £1.00 as photos show. I did make her undies before taking her picture with added padding - just to protect her dignity 😉

This is where I lost sympathy tbh... picking up and dropping hobbies is fine but when there's actually living things involved it just seems a bit 🤢😬🙄 the ebay/Gumtree bit 😭😭😭

Even though her hobby involves purchasing and getting bored of live animals on repeated cycles?