Hobby tainted

@Daisythepussycat this is a profoundly unpleasant man, and you are enduring a horrible marriage.

One final time..

Selling fish in order to rehome them is not the same as selling a dog or a cat.

You can do it via groups - however FB does not let you sell animals and giving away free animals is really risky. So people often share images in groups, and use ebay/gumtree/preloved etc to actually sell.

As you cannot post fish, you can either use an expensive courier or deliver/collect, so the person buying is meeting the person selling. You're not sending animals out for free to people you never see, you're not sending them off in a fish bag in a box to linger in some posties van for a weekend.

Better passed on to someone who will look after them than left in a tank to moulder and die as interest wanes, which is what kills off most fish tbh.

It may not be your choice to do this, but it's super common in fishkeeping for people to have a crack at keeping a particular species or biotope set up, and then after a while, move to a different species/set up.

I've sometimes sold fish on, usually when my interest in that particular species or biotope has waned and I've only got a few fish left that won't fit with the next set up (say I have soft water fish and im moving to hard water, or ive got freshwater fish and moving to salt water).

It's perfectly legal, as long as fish are rehomed sensibly its not a welfare issue and there is nothing in using a selling site to suggest the OP is not doing this responsibly.

There are some huge welfare issues within the fish keeping trade - most people keep their fish in the wrong water, believe ridiculous myths like 'fish only grow to the size of the tank they live in', think you can toss fish in a tank after letting the water stand with the filter running for a couple of days -all of which causes fish actual pain and distress. Selling fish on or returning them to the fish store is not the horrific act you seem to think it is.

I’ve just seen - people will defend the oddest things on here!

I pointed out but poster responded peculiarly

No she doesn’t - she rehomes via gumtree or eBay.

You said She rehomes appropriately, back to where they came from or via a group of fish keepers.

the OP said on eBay and gumtree

and you see this as rehoming appropriately

okey-dokey

How is that different to finding someone on a fb group?

You would still have the buyer collect/you deliver... you can't put fish in the post (you can, or could, put fish fry in the post, but not grown fish), they can only be shipped by specialist courier and that costs a lot so most people collect themselves, and some folks deliver.

The whole scenario seems very weird to me. Is it the hobby your family don't like?If it isn't teenage joking then your children seem very unkind. Ganging up on you.
Do they mock you at other times?If they do then the problem isn't the hobby,it is their bullying attitude to you.
If normallyyou have a good relationship with you,then they really must have their own reasons for their behaviour. Does your hobby take over your life?Do you bore them by being obsessed by hobby?Everything seems weird to me.

What are you going on about?

ebay and gumtree!

She rehomes appropriately, back to where they came from or via a group of fish keepers.

I don't know if you've noticed, but with a few exceptions, fish don't tend to form bonds with humans and as long as their husbandry needs are met, a change of ownership is not a welfare issue.

😂

(Please bring back the laugh emoji Mumsnet)

😂😂

Nice one!

Perhaps she got bored of the thread and exchanged us for another one.

Interesting that OP hasn’t come back.

If op sells the tanks as well that is a massive monetary loss each time as well, as tanks never sell for even near half the price you buy them for and you also have to chuck in all the filter etc to sweeten the deal

Well at least when you inevitably lose interest in it again Op (for the 4th time? 5th time?) you can give the utterly fabricated excuse to your family that you felt they didn’t support it. When in actual fact it was you losing interest in it. Again!

She keeps them, looks after them, and the local fish shop do swaps, as do other people in her area, it seems quite common. No one has said she kills them!

It’s not natures way to let them die in tank, we do our best to imitated a tank but that is what it is a tank and unnatural.

there’s nothing wrong with taking babies you didn’t deliberately breed or fish that aren’t getting on with others. What is unethical is buying a pet/tank filling with fish then getting bored and getting rid, repeatedly knowing that’s what’s likely to happen

So she gets them and kills them when she's had enough? I haven't seen that post. I was still going with the trains as I didnt know she'd disclosed it was fish. I thought was obvious from my post but clearly not.

Stop virtue signalling. As I mentioned trains I clearly didn't see the fish post.....I don't live on here! Did the op say she discard them?

Oh get out of here, I clearly didn't see it was fish and nowhere did I mention discarding anything. Stop with your virtue signalling.

Your family suggested it has 'taken over' at some points previously? They may, or may not, have been blowing that out of proportion, but what would you think they meant by that?

You have pulled right back to the point of not having the responsibility for the hobby/ fish, but it's not clear what your motivation was - is it due to it having strong elements that don't make things easy with holidays, other people looking after the fish, space, costs compared to 'rewarding bits' for you?

I also fall into the camp of fish being pets, and ones that can be quite long-lived if they are healthy, only crossing over with the hobby category.

Front them out. Get them all together, at a table, quietly, and say you are sad and upset about the situation. Say calmly what you think happened. Ask them if they think that is what happened. Don't ask (yet) 'Do you think that's fair?' or "How would you feel if....?" Instead, say how you feel, because this IS about how you feel. Then say that as it's obviously completely ok to gang up in public to make you feel sad and upset, that in future if they want your support, or silence, or acquiescence for anything at all, they are going to need to explain why it's a one-way street.

This isn't about hobbies or trains. It's about behaving as if they're the school bully, your home is a school playground and you're the new kid on the first day of term. Tell them this is not acceptable and do not settle for 'it's just a joke/you're over-reacting.' Nobody gets to tell someone else how they 'should' react to something someone else does.

Personally, I'd stop any co-operation with any of them, getting food, driving any of them anywhere or anything else, until they've apologised and explained how they think you felt as a result of their behaviour.

oh just read it’s about fishkeeping. Well, that changes the perspective slightly …