To ask for tips in not feeling down as we approach autumn?

Jade3450 · Today 13:56

For me it’s about delaying winter for as long as possible so it doesn’t feel too long. So:
Not wearing autumn clothes too soon - I find it weird that people start wearing boots in September. I stay in summer clothes for as long as possible
Sitting outside for as long as possible/ avoiding ‘putting the garden to bed’
Eat summery foods
Don’t ‘cosy’ up the house too early
Do NOT talk about Christmas until end of November/beginning of December
Most years I can eke summer out until the end of October like this.

I think this really works for me. I see people getting ready for autumn in September when it is still really warm. I try and keep summer going for as long as possible. Last year I was still running in shorts until December before I had to crack out the leggings!

I find a SAD lamp really helps.

Another one here who hates Christmas. I don’t mind Autumn although it just seems to go downhill as the weeks go on.
I used to start the New Year with best intentions; diet, exercise, new routines etc and felt thoroughly miserable, while January seemed to go on and on and on. This year instead I “gave myself permission” to just chill that month. No goals, no resolutions, just chilling. I loved it! It gave me something to look forward to in November and December, knowing I had this coming up, where I would feel no guilt for lots of early nights, lots of vegging on the sofa after work etc. I will definitely be doing the same again this year.

As we head towards Autumn/Winter I have joined the local leisure centre - no crazy gym bunny promises, but am aiming to go to a yoga or Pilates class each week and maybe a swim and sauna at the weekend.

Ive also spoken to a couple of other single friends who, it turns out, feel a similar way about the dark nights ahead, and we have started going to a weekly pub quiz.

I relate a lot to this OP and many replies. I think my views are pretty similar@Bryonyberries- quite like September (over the years I have realised i find august quite hard during the bits when when we aren’t on holiday - even though I don’t have much childcare juggle anymore, I just hate being the one going to work when the rest of the house is on holiday mode), don’t mind October, but hate the darkness so struggle after the clocks go back. I used to detest January (and to a lesser extent February) but now I find both easier as you can notice the light coming, especially towards the end of January. I also like the quiet after Christmas. November is def the hardest for me. We went to southern Spain in October half term (2 weeks for us) for 3 years in a row which really helped extend the summer, but November did hit with a thud. We didnt go last year as couldn’t afford it and are in similar situation this year, I’d rather go but the gradual build go autumn has its advantages too.

Anyway, what helps me get through it;
having things to look forward to in the diary (like
gigs, nights out, theatre, visits to family - I have a couple of these in for September and Oct already)
doing art (I’d rather be drawing after all )
doing stuff around now/in early sept to make the house better for winter (starting next week my husband is planning to paint kids bedrooms and we are getting some new furniture for the hallway)
lots of good telly
noticing the evenings getting slowly longer (from January onwards)
buying a couple of nice pieces of autumn clothing (or making an effort to enjoy what I already have)

Another thing to add, warming (‘scuse the pun) to my theme. I don’t know if this is right for everyone but until a few years ago I was militant with the thermostat and I’m a person who cannot stand being cold. Since speaking to a few people and trying a different approach, I wish I could get those cold years back! I now have a permanently toasty house and it costs no different because the boiler doesn’t have to work hard to regain temperature at say first thing in the morning and hour of an evening. My bills are really no different and I don’t hate the inside of my house which I used to curse into hell every winter for being shit and cold. I don’t know the science or the anything behind any of this theory, so don’t hate me if it’s bullshit, but it’s been true for me. Heating your house sparingly but fully, is no different financially than having it constantly warm. I think. And it’s better, if you can afford to experiment on it.

Totally agree. I love Spring, like Summer but spend Sep-Dec planning Christmas to get through. I hate all the viruses that pop up from September onwards, hate being too cold, have never really liked Halloween and suffer from SAD. Getting up earlier, walking somewhere beautiful and focusing on nice Autumnal foods (e.g. apple pie, casseroles etc) helps me a bit but mostly it's just a period to get through!

Yes OP forgot to add that to my ramble - prep the outside for a morning coffee. I have an oodie and then I have a mega thick oodie, which I usually only use to go out the back in. I have a chair that’s plastic with sort of rubbery lines as the seat if that makes sense? As in it’s like a string chair, which makes a good winter seat as it doesn’t hold water or cold which would defeat the object of going out in the garden to enjoy it. Fur lined crocs by the garden door. I go out there on school days when I get up with the kids as they don’t technically need me. I shout to ask if they’re all coming down, get a load of mumbles back, put a coffee on, then go and sit out in my fat marshmallow oodie for as long as I can hack the cold. Then come back in to the house feeling all fresh and ready to start doing fun stuff like reminding my kids about PE kits and wiping up crumbs!

I feel you op. I love the light, not so much the heat if it gets above 25 though. Summer evenings are my favourite. Whether meeting friends, taking dc out for a stroll and ice cream or just relaxing in the garden.
Autumn is ok but winter is not for me.
I try to embrace some of the stuff that people go on about like reading, watching movies, finding nice warming recipes.
I have to mix that up with lots of walks outdoors, meeting friends and booking a few things here and there like a day trip, booking a show, ice skating and exhibitions.

Maybe it’s the focus on the wait for something in the future. You could try to focus on the present and the day to day things that bring you joy, regardless of season.

OP, have you tried a light box for seasonal depression?

I struggle more with Christmas (which I hate) and I feel terrible, I really struggle in January and February, I don’t start feeling better until late March ish

i get out as much as as I can in those months, not so easy in the week but on weekends and on those weeknights when it’s cold and dark I have things to do on the evenings, whether it’s a craft at home or out somewhere.

im on my own( bar 2 older teens) and I find the winter quite hard to deal with at the beginning of the year.

id suggest getting out in the fresh air as much as you can, not easy with the nights drawing in I know

im the opposite I really struggle with anxiety leading up to summer. I don’t know why I struggle with it, but I am looking forward to autumn. I’m starting to feel a sense of relief it’s coming. So how do I deal with summer and maybe it will help you with your struggle with autumn. I try and focus on what I like about it (there are many things and I wish I could explain my summer anxiety a lot of it I think is feeling pressureto be enjoying the nice weather and a sense of guilt if I haven’t) what things do you enjoy doing when the nights are drawing in? For me I love going out for walks in the autumn when it’s cooler and I can wrap up, I don’t tend to go out walking in the summer I don’t find it enjoyable when it’s warm. I book a sun holiday (not this year financially unviable…but my summer issue isn’t the sun clearly 😂) I try and find activities to do like craft workshops these tend to drop off in the summer months. My advice find the positives and lean into it.

Like a lot of pp, I try to fill my time with new activities mixed with old ones both in and out of the house. Too busy to notice the shorter days, or the ticking by of the days, is my theoretical challenge. I also try to mix things up with a new activity or challenge every month.
In my day to day life I try to make household chores easier - so I like to have options to dry clothes indoors if the weather excludes outdoor drying, enough clothes so I’m not pushed to get things washed and dried, use delivery for heavy shopping once every 4-6 weeks. Etc.
Then plan for nice time stuff for me - hair dressers or a night in by the fire with a good book, phone a friend for a silly chat etc.
Not saying it keeps the gloom away but it keeps it in check.

I'm the same OP. I even dislike it from 21st June as I know the nights are getting longer from then on! The leaves outside my house are falling off now and I've really noticed the dark evenings - I had to walk my dogs in the dark on a hot day earlier this week.

But I resolved last year not to wish the winter away - I realised that I was effectively wishing a third of my life away.

For me it's the dark I think - I love the light evenings and being woken up by the daylight. That said, I have dogs and also dread the mud. I like the heat too although don't really mind the cold too much.

Last year I did keep my fairy lights up after Christmas which helped! I also bought more lamps to put on around the house so I wasn't living in perpetual gloom and doom. I also bought lots of candles. I'm not fussed about soup and stews and all of that malarky. But above everything, I think it's about mindset.

( Future, rich, me will spend winter abroad)

I used to hate autumn and winter so much, especially after moving back to the UK having spent years in a hot country. I would start feeling like I was becoming mentally unwell by January and pretty much salivating over a glimpse of daylight by Feb. I got the SAD light and hoped for the best. Didn’t feel much better.

Now I really approach it like an impending apocalypse which, conversely, makes the reality of it the total opposite! I prepare for autumn and winter so thoroughly now (have done for about 8-9 years) that I embrace it and don’t hate it. I declutter and deep/spring clean, fix anything broken and often get so motivated from that, that I redecorate a room or two - in September. I treat September like a massive overhaul, renaissance of my life and book in, organise, plan and prep for September to March. This is also helped by having an academic wall calendar as they run from August to August. So I can get everything visually laid out in front of me and feel good about what’s coming up and I can always see next summer in my sights.

Feeling clean and clear and organised is great for mental health anyway, but for winter it’s a necessity almost because of being indoors more but also anything not operating at maximum efficiency will just be worse. You need guttering clean and clear, drains clear, house ship shape before it gets hammered by the weather. The actions of getting it all done seems to get the endorphins vibing and has a twofold effect to me. We’re on holiday at the moment and in quiet moments while everyone’s napping or chilling, I’m putting 30 min jobs onto my notes. If they’re longer then I break them into half/thirds or do one at a time I.e sorting and cleaning the kitchen cupboards takes more than half an hour so they get half an hour each. And I do them on different days so I don’t hate my life. I make a list of DIY tasks and deep clean and do the DIY tasks per room as I’m going along. Eg my living room I’ll deep clean but it also needs a carpet clean booked in, and there’s a hole in a sofa cushion needing mending and I’m going to change out some art work. All sofa cushions will get washed and the windows cleaned, light fittings brought down and cleaned. Will take probably two separate afternoons but will look wonderful by the end. It makes me feel better being in a house that’s all in order and spotless when it’s shitty outside.

I have a whole winter changeover as well. I’ve got more lamps, thicker sofa blankets, electric blankets, fake candles, sheepskins, etc in a cupboard where the Christmas stuff is. It’s all been washed when it went away in march so getting all that out after deep cleaning feels like I’m saying hello to the new season, as opposed to saying “why the fuck are you back again I hate you”.

I use up and then discard anything else from the freezer, defrost and start some prepping/batch cooking for the winter. Not so much standing there doing a hard slog all day, more like when I make a lasagne making 2/3, when I make a curry making 2/3 and building up a good selection over a couple of weeks. We have tonnes of fruit in the garden but what we don’t have we go picking for. I then cook a lot of it down and freeze ready for crumbles, and will make the crumble mix, too, ready to sprinkle on. I go through all the cupboards when I’m cleaning and make lists of herbs, curry pastes or grains that need topping up, I ask the kids what we love to eat in winter and start getting dry ingredients ordered in.

I get out every single day even if it’s just something simple, but I will force myself to walk even when it’s easier to drive. I’ve got proper boots and waterproof down coat, a million umbrellas and anything else to repel the weather. A bit of delayed gratification has to be deployed also. My kids wanted us all to rewatch Stranger Things now to get ready for the new series, I said no let’s wait until outside is shit and we’ve got less to do and we’ll really appreciate a cosy series to watch. I usually take them away in Feb half term to pretty much anywhere in Europe that’s cheap on Ryanair/Whizz and haven’t been disappointed yet. It’s never roasting, but anywhere from Rome downwards we’ve been able to walk about with T-shirts on and got so much just from that bit of sun and light.

I suppose I say all that to say, don’t try and resist. It’s going to happen, fake it to make it. Yours, a former autumnal doomsayer.

Me too - I actually dislike the summer season the most and can’t bare the long, light, stuffy evenings and all the hayfever and abundance of bugs.

I liked the post that suggested finding some things to look forward to in every season - good advice.
I still can’t think of anything good about summer though.

Try and get outside as much as possible.

I always have my morning tea outside and on my wfh day get out in the afternoon for a bit even if it's nipping to the shop for milk while it's still light.

I am telling myself that at this year has been so sunny and bright I have absorbed more sun to get me through longer (anything to help even if it's bs 😂).

Get something booked to.look forward to in spring next year.

I am dreading it too ..

I knit a sweater or two and some mittens and socks and hats.

I'll spin some fiber and warp up my loom for a project.

I hang up some maple leaf little lights in an archway between rooms.

Declutter and switch over to flannel sheets when the nights get chilly, get blankets out. Put up heavy curtains.

Get the autumn clothes out, declutter and mend as needed.

Switch up diet to heavier, savory meals. Bake cheddar jalapeño bread to eat with chili. Mushroom and bean stews. Vegetable and bean soups. Sweet potatoes. Hen of the woods (maitake) and chantarelle and black trumpet shrooms.

Take an art class.

Lots of outdoor time. Hiking time. House isn't a furnace, so exercise isn't such a sweaty slog.

Plant some bulbs if you have a garden.

And last but not least, Pumpkin Spice coffee.

So do you have any advice for the OP then?

I can’t wait for autumn!! Autumn and winter are my favourite. I love the dark cosy evenings. I’m so over summer now.

I enjoy up until Xmas. Cozy fires, twinkley lights, bonfire night, autumnal walks, Christmas. But January to March is depressing and I struggle with it.

If you can, maybe book a 2 week holiday in January. It will give you something to look forward to and January will be nearly over by the time you are back.

Also there's that seasonal affective disorder. Maybe look into that and take a vitamin D supplement.

I have arthritis and the cold damp weather we get in autumn leaves me in agony, and completely unable to get outside to enjoy whatever snippets of sunshine might pass overhead.

I end up chronically fatigued from the amount of painkillers I have to take, and need to try to wheedle an afternoon nap into my schedule (thank god for wfh and being able to make the time up later)

I absolutely hate October and November.

We book our only holiday of the year for the end of January - we go to Sri Lanka as we love it so much and it is sooo hot in Feb. Gets us through January and as I have to work most of Xmas gives me a goal.

I'm the opposite, I loathe the Summer.

What helps me is trying to find good things about the season you dislike.

OP, whilst the winter doesn’t really bother me, I like to book a weekend break at a nice hotel somewhere nice the weekend after the New Year. The prices are often very low and you can treat yourself to a nicer standard of hotel and room than you would normally. Just a thought. It’s not really guaranteed sunshine but it might give you something to look forward to?