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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH's inability to leave me alone!

62 replies

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 17/08/2025 09:44

"Are you alright up there? You've been a long time".

I've been 17 minutes. I've had a long shower to wash my hair, and I'm brushing my teeth as he shouts up.

Am I unreasonable to get so irritated by this? He does it all the time if I'm out of sight for a while. Sometimes he comes looking for me. I don't think he even realises, but it's driving me mad and genuinely putting me on edge. Am I being overly sensitive though, coz I'm craving alone time?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 17/08/2025 09:55

I very deliberately have long baths where I read, then I take my sweet time drying off etc. My DH leaves me alone. I spend pretty much every minute of every day with children, break and lunch is also usually with students, so I think it’s fair enough to take time alone, particularly if the dc don’t need you/are old enough not to need supervision.

Zanatdy · 17/08/2025 09:52

If you’ve got young kids then that’s your answer, he wants you to look after them.

Typicalwave · 17/08/2025 09:52

Does he only do it if he’s been left in charge of children? Or the cooking? Or some other unpaid shitwork task?

Whatareyoutalkingaboutnow · 17/08/2025 09:52

Is he doing something he considers "your job" kids, housework etc?

dogcatkitten · 17/08/2025 09:50

Are you accident prone or suffering from any illness that would make him over protective? If not you need to have a word with him about it.

smalldogdancing · 17/08/2025 09:50

My Dh does this! It’s so annoying. I think for him it’s a control thing. What am I doing? Does he approve? Should I be doing something ‘useful’. Exhausting

Daisyvodka · 17/08/2025 09:49

Ah, do you think he's doing it because he doesnt want to deal with the kids on his own?

Original poster
Ihaveneedofwaternear · 17/08/2025 09:48

I could, but I think he would probably get annoyed and think I was making a big deal of nothing. I've been pushing back at him a bit lately for how he is with DS sometimes, think he'd get irritated that I'm trying to police his behaviour.

Why does he always need to know, though? Is it some sort of passive aggressive "where are you, come and help with the kids/washing" or something?

OP posts:
Branleuse · 17/08/2025 09:48

I cannot bear it if people are too intrusive like this. I just want to be invisible sometimes.

Daisyvodka · 17/08/2025 09:47

Have you said to him 'we dont need to be together every single second, sometimes I just want to take my time with getting ready' etc?

OtterlyMad · 17/08/2025 09:47

Shout back, “Yes, are you alright down there? I’ve been gone a whole 17 minutes so just want to check you haven’t swallowed bleach or stuck your fingers in any sockets!”

yogpot · 17/08/2025 09:46

This would make me feel like a toddler who needs supervising - it reminds me of how we used to treat our eldest when he started bathing himself.

Can you talk to him and tell him it’s driving you up the wall?