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Original poster

Evening only wedding invite

163 replies

lucylondon7878 · 17/08/2025 06:44

A friend of 20+ years is having her wedding:

  • we were very close at school, over the years drifted a little but still maintain regular contact and meet regularly, know her parents etc
  • I was a little surprised to only be invited to the evening part of her wedding
  • more so given others, but not all, within that friendship group (who I'd say have the same level of contact) have been invited to the entire day
  • made more awkward by the fact I now live around 2000 miles away
  • the wedding is taking place on her land so it's not like "numbers" are really an issue, nor is budget

It makes me question whether to bother with this friendship as it seems a message is being sent, and my inclination is to just abandon it

OP posts:
Othersnotsomuch · 17/08/2025 07:04

lucylondon7878 · 17/08/2025 07:01

every 8 weeks or so I'd say, I make an explicit effort to meet when I return to the UK

Show quote history

You live 2000 miles away
and see one another every 8 weeks
what do you do when you get together? You go out of your way to meet her?

Original poster
lucylondon7878 · 17/08/2025 07:03

arcticpandas · 17/08/2025 06:56

I think she just wanted to be inclusive and that she's not expecting you to come. Send a nice card and tell her you won't be able to make it.

this had crossed my mind, but I have lived away for many years and made a point of saying early on (before invites went out) that I would be able to come

OP posts:
Original poster
lucylondon7878 · 17/08/2025 07:01

Othersnotsomuch · 17/08/2025 06:54

When was the last time you actually saw this person OP?

every 8 weeks or so I'd say, I make an explicit effort to meet when I return to the UK

OP posts:
cryinglaughing · 17/08/2025 07:01

2000 miles yet you regularly meet up 🤔
I wouldn't travel that far for a whole day do, let alone an evening. I wouldn't let it spoil what friendship you have though.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 17/08/2025 07:00

arcticpandas · 17/08/2025 06:56

I think she just wanted to be inclusive and that she's not expecting you to come. Send a nice card and tell her you won't be able to make it.

This.

If she really considered you a close friend she'd have invited you to the whole thing.

I don't think she is expecting you to accept.

Parksinyork · 17/08/2025 06:57

How often are your regular meet ups and contacts?

arcticpandas · 17/08/2025 06:56

I think she just wanted to be inclusive and that she's not expecting you to come. Send a nice card and tell her you won't be able to make it.

bebopalula111 · 17/08/2025 06:55

I wouldn’t give up on a friendship based on this. People have their reasons for inviting who they invite to their day. Which is ultimately their choice.
i would politely decline.

Lennonjingles · 17/08/2025 06:55

If you are good friends, just say it will be sad coming all this way and not actually see her get married, or just be blunt and ask why hasn’t she invited you to the actual ceremony. You’ve got nothing to lose if you are consider ditching your friendship.

Othersnotsomuch · 17/08/2025 06:54

When was the last time you actually saw this person OP?

Squirrelblanket · 17/08/2025 06:50

I wouldn't be bothered by getting an evening only invite, it means you miss the boring bits. Having said that, I wouldn't travel that far for a wedding anyway so I also wouldn't be bothered about declining in that circumstance either.

ThejoyofNC · 17/08/2025 06:48

Not a chance I'd travel 2000 miles for an evening only invite and it's ridiculous of her to not have considered that. But I also wouldn't travel that far for a full day invite unless it was someone I was very close to.

TeenToTwenties · 17/08/2025 06:48

I wouldn't travel 2000 miles for a wedding for anyone except a child or sibling. Just politely decline, but don't let it impact your friendship.

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