Evening only wedding invite

I agree with this
She knows how far away you are and still only invites you to the evening do

When you’re the one making all the effort I’m not convinced she’s such a great friend

Decline the invite staring it’s a long way to come just for the evening. Then next time you’re over see if she takes up your suggestion to come to London for a few hours

If there is an Evening Only invite, it sounds like each part of the wedding invite is a separate insert. Is it possible your envelope simply failed to contain the actual wedding day invite, by mistake?

Thanks. I have skimmed the thread now. At first I thought maybe a typo because she referred to seeing her friend every few weeks. Wow! All that travel.

No I think she means 2,000 as she lives overseas

Haven’t read full thread yet, but does OP mean 200 miles, not 2000?

Don’t go all that way for an evening party if she thought of you as a close friend she would have invited you all day especially with you having to travel so much. I would suggest you decline saying it’s too much to travel for the evening party you wish her all the best and have a fantastic day and see if she reaches out after her wedding.

No way would I travel 200 miles for an evening only invite! I am single as well which makes this even more unlikely - at least over the course of a whole day at a wedding you have a chance to get to know people. I'd decline and send a lovely card and perhaps some flowers.

A friend of mine became increasingly demanding about her wedding .. first it was the European hen night which I went on, then I offered to pay for her wedding dress as she was hard up and that became a bit of a drama, then there was a contribution to the wedding song and it went on..

A week before the wedding my accommodation cancelled on me.. and because of all the hassle my husband didn't want to go any more.. at the end of the day it was a relief not to go tbh. The friendship cooled though she still sends Xmas cards etc. But I'm glad I saved myself the 4hrs each way journey and the evening with people I didn't know..

If others have been invited to the whole day I would reach out to check it's not a mistake. Happened to my friend once and the bride was absolutely mortified and so apologetic. You could say something like "thanks for the invite, with the usual travelling etc I'm trying to plan ahead and wondered if any of the others in our little friendship group will be joining for the evening part, so maybe I could share a hotel room/taxis etc..." if it's a terrible mistake that should resolve things. If she says "no, everyone else is invited to the whole day" then there's your answer... And I'd politely decline.

Bride brain / bridezilla is real and you need to figure out which! Years ago, I was once the only one from a friendship group excluded from getting either a day OR evening invite to a close friend (so I thought) of 20 years. I was very hurt and a mutual friend reached out to the bride who tried to pretend the invite got lost in the post. She never sent me a replacement! To this day I've still no idea what happened!

If you see her that often then you would be able to directly ask her why you're only invited to the evening do, wouldn't you?

About 4.5-5 hours. It’s like from here to Turkey or Cyprus.

OP, could you say “thanks for the invite but it’s a long way to travel just for an evening reception.” Which is true, but also kind of tells her without telling her that you’re slightly aggrieved not to be invited to the whole thing. You are not being unreasonable at all.

It's not "lucky" to only be invited to the evening do, why on earth would she be pleased, when it's clear that the whole point of the thread is that she's the very opposite of pleased!

Consider yourself lucky, you’ve skipped having to sit around for the boring bit. If there’s other people that you’d want to see (I.e. a common friend group) then go - particularly if you can arrange it to coincide with a business trip. Otherwise skip it.

It would have to be a very special friend i would travel that far for!

I would politely decline. I think I would mention that u have heard that some of yr mutual friends are attending and you hope everyone has a lovely day and you look forward to their photos of the church/service i.e. let her know you have been told that some people have been invited to the whole day.
No proper friend would expect you to travel that distance for a couple of hours in the evening and pay a nights accommodation, not to mention the cost of travel.
what she is doing is not how you treat a friend.

Next time you travel ask her to meet you instead.

See what happens

We once made the mistake of going to the 'evening' part of a wedding. The experience was so dismal*, we decided then & there never to do so again whoever was getting married. That was over 35 years ago, and we have stuck to that - and have zero regrets.

*e.g. there was no food provision for those arriving for the evening, so we had to pop out of the hotel to buy some fish & chips!

Perhaps she has felt under pressure to see you whenever you’re back given you instigate the meet ups and do all the travelling, and this is her opportunity to tell you… she doesn’t see you as a close friend and to dial back the get togethers

I don't see my closest friend every 8 weeks as we live a couple of hours apart and have commitments!

It looks like you have been making all the running. I know sometimes friends get into routines but I usually begin to notice if the effort is all on my side and wait to see if they will contact me.

As it's easy for her (no travel, little to no expense?) she has maybe just gone along with it out of habit. So she doesn't see you as a close friend or maybe doesn't enjoy your company as much as that of others?

Not sure I'd travel 2000 miles and spend a ton of money to turn up to the "second act". You can easily say it doesn't work for you given your other trips are partly funded by work.
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I’d feel so hurt in this situation having read a bit more context of the continued effort on your part. She clearly can’t see that, or just doesn’t value you.

I would decline but I would also explain that it’s because of the distance to travel for a few hours of the party.

You consider her a better friend to you than she does you to her. Hence the lack of effort of her part to ever travel to see you; you do all the running.

Just send your regrets and a card. And take a step back if it bothers you.

Another nasty and totally unnecessary comment. What is it with several posters that they feel the need to put @lucylondon7878 down for no reason?

It's a token invitation - she's not really expecting you to attend, but feels she has to send an invitation to keep up appearances. As a side note, I really hate 2-tier wedding systems. Either invite people to celebrate the whole event with you, or don't. It's so awkward to categorise people into whether they are important enough to you to recieve a full invitation or not.

I think she just wanted to be inclusive and that she's not expecting you to come. Send a nice card and tell her you won't be able to make it

This