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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Foodbank - 3 cars

503 replies

TalkToTheHand123 · 17/08/2025 00:11

Am I being unreasonable to think a family with 2 cars and a big fancy house shouldn't be using foodbanks regularly? No disability issues.

OP posts:
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7
Monty27 · 17/08/2025 01:35

Might need to use cars to get to jobs that cover bills, possibly not, but doesn't cover a food bill.
Or even collect for other people

Judge ye not.

ForFunWriter · 17/08/2025 01:22

GypsyQueeen · 17/08/2025 01:21

But surely not being able to feed your kids is the last resort. I mean that's the most basic thing isn't it - putting food on the table. If I couldn't do that and lived in a 'big fancy house' then I would be downsizing asap.

Yeah you would have to as you wouldn’t be able to afford the council tax. The water rates which will be high. Everything.

plus selling one car means no maintenance costs, insurance, tax etc. save money

GypsyQueeen · 17/08/2025 01:21

steff13 · 17/08/2025 00:53

The house could be paid off. It would be more expensive to buy a house and get a mortgage, or move to someplace where they have to pay rent. It could be gifted. It could be inherited.

Maybe they bought it at a time when they were better off financially and they're hoping to get back there. Selling a house is a pretty big deal especially if you have kids. You're potentially uprooting them from their school and their friends and their activities. I would imagine that most people would think of selling their house as being the last resort.

But surely not being able to feed your kids is the last resort. I mean that's the most basic thing isn't it - putting food on the table. If I couldn't do that and lived in a 'big fancy house' then I would be downsizing asap.

GypsyQueeen · 17/08/2025 01:15

Also, I guess it depends whether they needed a referral from someone who knew about their finances, or whether they just went along. I know some are self referral.

Hohumhuee · 17/08/2025 01:08

solando · 17/08/2025 01:08

I didn’t think they ask what size your house is or how many cars you have I think anyone can use one

Maybe they should.

ForFunWriter · 17/08/2025 01:08

solando · 17/08/2025 01:08

I didn’t think they ask what size your house is or how many cars you have I think anyone can use one

No you have to get a referral or meet a criteria….

Hohumhuee · 17/08/2025 01:08

YANBU, food banks should be the bottom of the barrel for people with no other option rather than an excuse for poor budgeting.

solando · 17/08/2025 01:08

I didn’t think they ask what size your house is or how many cars you have I think anyone can use one

ForFunWriter · 17/08/2025 01:06

TalkToTheHand123 · 17/08/2025 00:11

Am I being unreasonable to think a family with 2 cars and a big fancy house shouldn't be using foodbanks regularly? No disability issues.

Correct they shouldn’t be.

their living expenses are already inflated so let’s hope they can get out asap.

are they being entitled or are entitled? Most food banks have referral systems.

ForFunWriter · 17/08/2025 01:04

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/08/2025 00:24

YABU as you're ridiculous to think people don't need to use foodbanks just because they have "a big fancy house." Anyone can fall on harder times or go through a rough patch.

I think someone with a big fancy house won’t be getting La housing rates for Uc, they also will have a huge mortgage and also should have some sort of asset. They will have fancy cars and a lifestyle to maintain. And some debt from whatever they’ve purchased.

i would expect someone with a big house to be getting evicted/reposessed and won’t be living there for much longer. Especially when their utility bills come in. And council tax, which will be huge and not supported by UC

ReadingSoManyThreads · 17/08/2025 01:01

Respectfully, you do not know their financial circumstances. Not sure on the relevance of "no disability issues", being disabled doesn't automatically mean you are poor.

They may have recently been made redundant, or declared themselves bankrupt. They may be up to their eyeballs in debt. They may rent their "big house", and the landlord has just given them a massive rent increase, and they're struggling to find another cheaper property due to the lack of properties available to rent etc.

There are any number of reasons they may be requiring regular use of a food bank right now, and it's not for you to judge.

SouthLondonMum22 · 17/08/2025 01:00

Depends on the type of food bank. If it's a refer only type then they've clearly had a referral from a professional and if it's a community type one then that tends to be more of about not wasting food and is open to everyone.

You also may not know the whole story.

THEDEACON · 17/08/2025 00:59

YABU Mind your own business

NewHere83 · 17/08/2025 00:57

Just how quickly do you expect someone to sell their house when they fall on hard times?

steff13 · 17/08/2025 00:53

The house could be paid off. It would be more expensive to buy a house and get a mortgage, or move to someplace where they have to pay rent. It could be gifted. It could be inherited.

Maybe they bought it at a time when they were better off financially and they're hoping to get back there. Selling a house is a pretty big deal especially if you have kids. You're potentially uprooting them from their school and their friends and their activities. I would imagine that most people would think of selling their house as being the last resort.

GypsyQueeen · 17/08/2025 00:46

I guess it depends if they're using the food bank short term because they're having a difficult time (signed off work sick, lost job etc).

The car issue doesn't bother me so much as both cars maybe needed to get to work/ school run but if the food bank is a regular thing & they live 'in a big fancy house' and can't afford to buy food then they really need to consider whether they should be living in a 'big fancy house'.

steff13 · 17/08/2025 00:46

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 00:41

We know nothing about the area, what public transport is like or whether the car owners do shift work and that's why they need a car each.

That's true having two cars doesn't mean they're rich, maybe it just means that there are two adults in the household who work and don't have any other way to get to work.

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 00:41

MeganM3 · 17/08/2025 00:28

Yeah. Someone with two or three cars shouldn’t be relying on donated food as a regular thing. I know when I donate to the food bank I want it to go to someone in need, who is struggling for money.
Perhaps it was just a one off / very short term thing? Or maybe it was one of those places for food that would otherwise end up in landfill and they think it’s better environmentally? Who knows. Probably shouldn’t judge if don’t know the full story.

We know nothing about the area, what public transport is like or whether the car owners do shift work and that's why they need a car each.

steff13 · 17/08/2025 00:39

I volunteer for a food pantry and they do some special events throughout the year including a meal giveaway for Thanksgiving. The Thanksgiving meal distribution is a drive-up thing, so people sign up and then they drive up in their car we load the food into their car and they drive away. Last year was the first year that I did it and I saw all manners of vehicles - some were way nicer than mine, some were barely running, And everything in between. I don't know what the person's story is and It's not for me to judge.

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/08/2025 00:34

MeganM3 · 17/08/2025 00:28

Yeah. Someone with two or three cars shouldn’t be relying on donated food as a regular thing. I know when I donate to the food bank I want it to go to someone in need, who is struggling for money.
Perhaps it was just a one off / very short term thing? Or maybe it was one of those places for food that would otherwise end up in landfill and they think it’s better environmentally? Who knows. Probably shouldn’t judge if don’t know the full story.

I know when I donate to the food bank I want it to go to someone in need, who is struggling for money
See, when I donate I just hope it helps someone who needs it. I don't think about who is or isn't worthy in my eyes of receiving it. As others have said, we don't know circumstances. Cars and houses mean nothing to income available for food.
There's different types of foodbanks round here - some you need a referral for, then there's one you just turn up to, and then a community pantry that anyone can go to for bags of food/a breakfast.
They don't judge on what your house looks like

NotTheHair · 17/08/2025 00:33

Houses and cars are actually quite expensive, so when you buy them you tend to have less money than you did before you bought them...

Do you mean food banks that you need referrals for or "community" banks that are all about not wasting food and anyone can use them?
They are two different things.

and this.

MeganM3 · 17/08/2025 00:28

Yeah. Someone with two or three cars shouldn’t be relying on donated food as a regular thing. I know when I donate to the food bank I want it to go to someone in need, who is struggling for money.
Perhaps it was just a one off / very short term thing? Or maybe it was one of those places for food that would otherwise end up in landfill and they think it’s better environmentally? Who knows. Probably shouldn’t judge if don’t know the full story.

Walkthelakes · 17/08/2025 00:27

I have a detached house and we have 2 cars. Sometimes life has felt really precarious financially. I’ve never used a food bank but I can see how you could have assets like a house and cars but be absolutely skint. I bought my kids uniform from thr second hand sale and anther mum made a comment that it maybe wasn’t for ‘people like me’. I have £300 to feed a family of 6 for two weeks before payday, plus fuel for the car (we live rurally so need to use it). I couldn’t afford the £300 for new uniform this year without going into debt so thought the sensible thing was to buy second hand. You don’t know the ins and outs of peoples finances

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/08/2025 00:24

MuddyPawsIndoors · 17/08/2025 00:13

3 or 2?

Either way, you don't run out and sell your cars and your house just because you're short on food for the week.

Exactly!

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/08/2025 00:24

TalkToTheHand123 · 17/08/2025 00:11

Am I being unreasonable to think a family with 2 cars and a big fancy house shouldn't be using foodbanks regularly? No disability issues.

YABU as you're ridiculous to think people don't need to use foodbanks just because they have "a big fancy house." Anyone can fall on harder times or go through a rough patch.