My child having no father is going to affect him?

You sound depressed and feeling very sorry for yourself.

It’s important to remember that no situation is ideal, and no family is perfect.

Try to change your mindset from what is ‘missing’ to what is abundant.

Your love, your bond with your toddler.

That is all you need for now. Focus on that. Friendships will develop naturally, when you are doing your own thing. When you are motivated and happy in your life, with your beautiful child. Setting up Facebook groups / What’s App groups might not be the best move for now..

You sound like a pity party.. this mindset will steer people away / send them running.

Be busy in your own life and happy / reconciled with your choices first. Own your choices- as you made each one of them.

Your attitude and what you give out will come back to you.

OP you do sound isolated and a bit lonely. It’s been good to see you even on this short thread start to engage with the idea of having to be more proactive about building a set of people to connect with.
It’s easy to feel a bit of a failure if you don’t have friends but sadly it’s a very common issue. You do need that one person to make an effort and it may have to be you. It’s a bit like dating - you may have to be thick skinned and it can take time which will be in short supply but yes. Try reaching out via a Facebook message. Try any existing groups.
When will he start school? There’s a big opportunity to find people. Most of my friends are from school friend’s mums. My children are adults now but I still have a core group of friends I met at primary school.
I’m not a single mum but my ex DH had very little involvement in DC’s social lives or friendship groups. Lots of dads are like that. Don’t feel like a failure. To use that mawkish phrase. you are enough.

Your child is a different person to you. You can take responsibility for your own feelings and behaviour as an individual and move forward. Be a positive role model, provide him with lots of different opportunities and support and encourage his friendships.

My mom didn't have a father and she was fine. So were other relatives who's dad died young. They also had a fine upbringing and life. Everyone's situation is different, your child will be ok.

I would recommend meeting up with his cousins, and talk to your brother about if he's willing to look out for him and provide guidance. It would be lovely if they included him in activities, and maybe you could sit for them too.

Firstly, your dps could live another 20 years. Secondly, you can fill your child's life with love and fun and knowledge & experiences without being a party animal.

I'm a single mum, no family support close by. My ds is happy, healthy, doing well. He swims & cycles and skis. I've had a ball over the last 17 years sharing all these things with him. He goes to a good school and has friends. I made a few friends among the other mums. Offer to share babysitting or join in with some of the school activities and friendships will come.

I think you need a bit more faith in your abilities as a parent. Show him all the things that you love. You'll do just fine on your own

Mine have no dad, and have never known a father. That's through death though..

Don't worry, mine are absolutely fine and never ask about their father. Doing well at school, well adjusted.

I've never made it into a problem and they've never missed out or been treated any different in having no father.

Your child has a loving mum who wants the best for him. That will be the biggest influence on his childhood.

However, not having a father or a robust support network could negatively impact your child and it doesn't help anyone to brush this under the carpet. The good news is, once you recognise and accept this, you can do things to combat it.

In your shoes I would:

• read lots of age appropriate books about how families come in all shapes and sizes
• look for a weekend club for him to join where you can meet other families (toddler football, dance, gymnastics etc often run over the weekend). Failing that I'd take him to the same park regularly and try to meet other families that way. You will need to push yourself out of your comfort zone to make friends
• look at existing relationships to see if you can make more of an effort to build a village (would your brother be open to meeting more often? Would your parents like a weekly FaceTime and more frequent visits)

Once he is at school it should be easier. Then you can invite his friends for play dates and weekend clubs should be easier to find.

Honestly OP, lots of children have potential negatives in their lives (one of my DC has a disability that comes with lots of challenges, others will experience illness, bereavement, poverty or a host of other issues). It doesn't mean that they can't succeed and have a fantastic life, just that we have to work a bit harder to to ensure they have the best start possible given their circumstances.

Sorry I forgot to say that I started to bring him up when she was 2 and a half by reading a book about different types of families. I can't remember what it was called but it was a good way to start the conversation.

Some other books we still read are Two is enough by Janna Mathies, Love is a family by Roma Downey, Mummy and Me by Lydia Bright and Families by Shelley Rotner. The last one has all different kinds of families and when we get to the single parent part we still pretend to be excited and say "that's us!".

It might be a bit of a lie but "he wasn't ready to be the kind of daddy that you need, but I love you lots and we are a family" or something along those lines might be enough. It must be hard to know that he has other children - is he involved with them?

Good idea for the whatsapp group, hopefully there's at least one other parent you click with x

My daughter hasn't seen her dad since she was 18 months old and has no memory of him. When he was around he was extremely abusive which obviously had a negative impact on her.

My advice would be not to wait until he asks where his dad is. I've always spoken to her about her dad, had a few pictures available to show her, and given a child friendly explanation of why he's not around. She's 6 now and because of the conversations we've had she's very matter of fact that she has a dad but he's not safe to be around. She doesn't feel sad about it and doesn't feel she's missing out on anything (I'm aware this may change in future).

Remind him regularly of all the people that love him and make sure you prioritise him building a relationship with your family, even if this means lots of travelling to your parents.

Make Father's Day about your dad, my daughter has always chosen to make a card for my dad so Father's Day is never an issue. Speak to his nursery/school before Father's Day to make sure they're aware.

I also found it difficult to make friends during the nursery days, but made an effort to arrange play dates regularly, even if it clearly wasn't going to be a long term friendship. I've found it much easier now she's started school to make friends with the other parents and now have 2 in her class I could call in an emergency. I'm not very sociable so this felt like a lot of effort but it's worth it for the peace of mind.

It's difficult but it's not the end of the world. Unfortunately it's becoming more common for children to only have 1 parent and we can only make the best of what we have. You can choose whether he has a good life or not, one loving, dedicated parent is better than 2 neglectful ones.

Sounds like neighbours, which I have all their numbers for. I was heavily involved when my elderly one fell and needed help whilst daughter was on holiday. I have all their numbers and we say hello. I also checked in one my neighbours last year. not sure I really need to do anything else. I don’t like them enough to want to spend time with them pretending to make friends

That's all you need from your neighbours. A friendly working relationship. Box ticked.

If any of your neighbours have a teenager, cultivate them - low-cost, flexible babysitting option for when your DC is older and a bit more self-sufficient.

Does Bloom Manchester West sound ok?

If you have your brother living close by, who can help in an emergency, then that's one advantage a lot of people don't have.

The reason we have whatsapp groups is to overcome logistical difficulties around organising meetings in person. It's one of the few advantages of social media.

You set the group up, give it a semi-official title like "Precious Darlings Nursery 2025/6", you invite anyone who you bump into to join, they invite anyone they bump into to join, you all introduce yourselves and your children and then you say "We're heading to the park on Sunday, anyone want to come?".

I've mopped my single mum neighbours toddler up while she was bleeding and made tea while we assesed if she needed 111 or 999. I've fed the other side's cats. I've had free tomatoes and chillis, had my parcels taken in, we've mended a joint fence, always natter over the fence in question. We share garden tools, drills etc. And I'm an antisocial arse. Or at least I like to think I am

Exactly women like to tell themselves that they are enough and all their child needs but actually it's not true.
Children know it takes a mum and a dad to have a baby, and they wonder where their dad is even if they don't ask.
My mum would have liked to have told herself that we were better off, not knowing and without a dad around, but it's just not true.

I agree, I think it’s quite delusional really to believe it won’t affect a child. Even other kids will point it out to them as most kids do have a father around even if their parents aren’t together, my boys have been questioned in school why they “don’t have a dad” “why he doesn’t pick them up from school / come to sports day” etc

What about sports Can he participate in any sports? I know here they start T-ball pretty young. There could be parents that you meet there and he could make friends there. And if you have a good relationship with your brother and he has his own kids then cousins are usually our first friends, at least in my experience. My kids have good relationships with their cousins.

You seem to be shutting down every suggestion and resigning yourself to the way you think it will be. I'm not sure that's healthy, for you or for him. When does he start preschool? You could then maybe arrange playdates with other parents to give each of you a break?

I just googled 'toddler groups 'my area ' weekends' and there were quite a few.