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AIBU?

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Original poster

Leave 11 year old alone 20 minutes?

55 replies

Onlycoffee4 · 16/08/2025 23:34

Hi, just looking for advice - no bashing please! My child is 11, has quite bad social phobia and ASD. They’re responsible, although they do attend a special school it’s more down to their social needs. They’ve never been left alone before or went into the community alone before.
There’s times they won’t even come with me to my local shop to get what we need for dinner etc. which means when my husband is at work I’m having to JustEat my groceries which is obviously costing more and half the time there’s items missing.
My shop is 5 minutes away, so by the time I got there, got around the shop and got back it would be around 20 minutes max.

OP posts:
Willowkins · 16/08/2025 23:38

I'll say it first - leaving a child on their own depends on how mature the child is. Even if you think they'll cope, try it for 5 minutes first so you can check how they get on.

Comedycook · 16/08/2025 23:38

No I wouldn't do this based on what you have said. I have two DC, one was fine to be left for short periods at that age and the other wasn't. No judgment but surely it's pretty easy to make sure you have enough groceries in to make yourself dinner? Keep some stuff in store cupboard and freezer

Theunamedcat · 16/08/2025 23:38

I wouldn't but my 12 year old (asd) would freak out i have his big brother "watch him" and he is fine completely ignores him but needs him like a comfort blanket

NoThanksNeeded · 16/08/2025 23:37

So long as you know they'll be sensible and won't panic at being alone... at 11 they are fine for longer than 20 minutes

Once upon a time, 11 year olds would travel home from secondary school alone and be at home alone until a parent came home...

Cece92 · 16/08/2025 23:37

It really is done to how the child is. My DD12 and I’ve left her for the odd half an hour since 11. She’s responsible and I trust her. I lock the doors she has a key incase of emergencies she does NOT answer the door to anyone and does not use the cooker. Tbh I don’t think she notices I’m gone 😂 too busy in her Roblox game lol! If it’s stressful for him to go to shops and you feel he’s responsible then I don’t see why not just make sure he’s safe and go over ground rules xx