Leave 11 year old alone 20 minutes?

Is your child comfortable with the idea of being left alone for a bit? That's the most important thing, you shouldn't leave a child alone if they aren't OK with it. If they're OK with the idea then give it a go. Make sure they know what to do in emergencies, role play them if necessary, and make sure you are contactable. With your child's extra needs you may need to be extra sure about their ability to cope but its something they have to learn at some point anyway so why not start now?

I actually think it's important that you start to do this. Make sure they have a way to contact you.
Realistically how likely is it that the house will set on fire or burglars break in during the 20 min you are out; much more likely is that they will begin to develop confidence that they actually can be ok alone for a short period.

I think it’s fine. My DC were getting the bus home
from school in year 7 and staying home alone for 2hrs or so. Obviously you need to establish if she’s mature enough and will be ok alone. You could always get an indoor camera to check in if needed. My DC always knew not to answer the door.

I think only you can answer that, cause it completely depends on the child.

minor older now, and obviously don’t need somebody to watch them!

However my oldest child I would’ve quite happily left at 11 for an hour knowing that she would be absolutely fine. My youngest however when he was 11 definitely would not have been left alone because I would’ve come back to a burnt down house!

If children decide they want something that you don't have they either go with you or they can't have it. It's that simple

Based on your child's needs I would say no.
I suggest planning your meals in advance and then doing the shopping when your partner is home - evenings or weekends.

Of course it’s fine. I leave my 9 year old for 15 minutes to pop to the shop. He’s very mature and fine with being left, knows exactly what to do in the unlikely case of an emergency.

Do you have access to Chop Chop through Sainsbury's? You have to spend a minimum of £15 and delivery costs £4.99 - unless you spend £40 in which case it's £2.49. The range doesn't seem as extensive as a standard online Sainsbury's shop, but your shopping can be with you within minutes of you putting the order in.

Get a weekly supermarket delivery. Keep the fridge, freezer & cupboards stocked. Husband can pick up the odd thing on the way home from work if necessary. I appreciate that sometimes everything falls apart, especially when you have a child with SEN, but you shouldn’t need Just Eat more than occasionally.

I was getting bus to and from school in year 7 only 2 months after turning 11 and then waiting at home until parents got in later in the evening. This was only in 2007. Your child will be fine

If there was an emergency and he couldn’t get hold of you would he be confident enough to ring 999 or call on a neighbour?

If the emergency is serious enough to need 999, he needs to do that first, before calling OP or a neighbour. So the question is, can he judge what is a genuine emergency warranting a 999 call, and what isn't?

11 was the age that I started leaving ds for 20 minutes or so - just a run to the shop or a school pick up. Other parents were doing the same. I remember dropping ds to a friend's house at that age and the mum saying "I leave him alone for 15 minutes while I pick up his sister from school - is that ok for you"

My only concern with yours is whether your child would cope in an emergency - you'd know that best - but otherwise I think 20 minutes at age 11 is fine.

It all depends on the child but I’d say not to with ASD and social anxiety.
My daughter has both of these and I wouldn’t be able to leave her alone I don’t think she would cope.

I feel for you though I’m was stuck in a loop of ordering groceries on Deliveroo as she wouldn’t come to the supermarket(I’m a single mum and have no one to watch her).

Ive started doing click and collect at Tesco/asda now which is working out better could that be an option for you or a standard home delivery?

The most important thing is to be sure they're comfortable enough trying it out.
Have phone charged beside them, plugs out, snacks and drinks.
Stay on phone with them while you walk.
You'll know after the first time.

I use to until she had a got frightened by something and ran out of the house and had police and social services called on me so just be careful was only 10 mins away, she was always fine until she wasn’t… now can’t leave her at all

Would your DC leave the house if there was a fire, go to a neighbour or phone you if they hurt themselves, cope OK with a scary noise or someone knocking on the door?
You need to base it on whether they're able to keep themselves safe.

If you think it is ok then I’m sure it would be fine. Understandably I think as SEN parents we can shelter our kids too much. Then suddenly something happens when you think fuck it I need to see if my child can actually do this thing that most of their NT peers can do and their parents take for granted. I am amazed at how independent and confident my child suddenly is despite having multiple needs worthy of an EHCP. I just had to loosen the reins a bit. (Well completely throw them away and buy them a travelcard tbh!)

I guess that instinctively you are going to be cautious so if you think he can do it, he can!

See if they will message you the whole time you are gone. Get WhatsApp and the two of you can chat, send photos.

After a few times, she will probably be ok with message me if you want anything or need me,

Why do you say once upon a time, that's still the case now for loads of 11 year olds. What else would they do between the end of school and a parent getting home?

Obviously there will be children for whom that isn't possible, no one can say for OPs child but in general its perfectly normal

you don’t say if the child is ok with being left ?
I’d leave my 11yr old.
It does sound like maybe you also need to plan your shopping better though? Why are you needing to have to have groceries delivered so you can eat? Why is the food not already there?

If there was an emergency and he couldn’t get hold of you would he be confident enough to ring 999 or call on a neighbour? As long as his social anxiety wouldn’t stop him from being able to get help in the unlikely event of an emergency (eg: fire) then I think it’s fine to leave him, so long as he is happy to be left.

Yes, of course, they'll be fine.
You don't have much of a choice.

can they use a phone if there's an emergency? You know your child the best. Generally I wouldn't bat an eyelid at leaving an 11 year old at home for an hour or so if they're responsible and can get in touch. I've left mine alone (if I'm nearby say up the road/round the corner) at a bit younger age than that. But some will probably disagree

Only you know if your child is ready for that step, but I would expect most 11 year old to be able to cope with this.