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AIBU?

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I don’t feel feminine…any advice?

54 replies

Newusername1234567 · 16/08/2025 20:41

i did post in different section few days ago but only got 2 replies so with no shame posting here for traffic🤷🏻‍♀️

i dont feel feminine for some time and it bothers me. I am not sure how to explain it. Male colleague/friend would see me as a “mate” and not a “female friend” if you know what i mean. I lack that soft, warm side. It hasn’t been always like that but now i feel lost and i dont know how to get it back. I am way too loud, i yell a lot (have two little boys, working on it!), i am very strict and harsh and come across unpleasant, but i am very likeable person and people used to love me and wanted to be around! And now people think i am
unapproachable.. What shall i do to change it? How can i get my feminine energy back? Has anyone struggle with similar?

OP posts:
Newusername1234567 · 16/08/2025 21:58

Overnightfloats · 16/08/2025 21:54

I love my feminine energy and protect it at all costs, while managing all male team of 12 in a male dominated industry. Instead of shouting, let the silence hang to make everyone go quiet, then speak comfortably. What you project reflects how you feel.

Buy yourself some flowers and have a bath, watching make up / stylist videos. Have a fluffy fresh croissant for breakfast. Try on some new dresses, you don’t have to buy. Light a candle. Wear a pretty apron. Fluffy socks in the evening. Pretty lipstick case. New car air freshener. Delicate hand cream. Hair mask. It’s the little things that feed the sole. Feel the self love, cringey as it sounds, and it will radiate from you.

No cringey at all. Self love is definitely something i have to practice more. Right now we are struggling financially little bit (like most of the people i guess) and everything goes for the boys, and days out, i feel bad spending on myself, so wearing old as hell pyjamas and cheap leggings at home.

besides all of the above the energy is what i want back. I feel like i dont know how to speak to people anymore.

OP posts:
Overnightfloats · 16/08/2025 21:54

I love my feminine energy and protect it at all costs, while managing all male team of 12 in a male dominated industry. Instead of shouting, let the silence hang to make everyone go quiet, then speak comfortably. What you project reflects how you feel.

Buy yourself some flowers and have a bath, watching make up / stylist videos. Have a fluffy fresh croissant for breakfast. Try on some new dresses, you don’t have to buy. Light a candle. Wear a pretty apron. Fluffy socks in the evening. Pretty lipstick case. New car air freshener. Delicate hand cream. Hair mask. It’s the little things that feed the sole. Feel the self love, cringey as it sounds, and it will radiate from you.

Newusername1234567 · 16/08/2025 21:46

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 16/08/2025 21:44

No but small kids can be hard work. Do you get any time to yourself?

No, not really. Husband is hands on but he works 12 hrs shifts, and when he is off there is so much to do which i cant do when alone with kids. I am
on maternity for the next few months and then going back to work. I also study acca in the evenings whenever i can. No family around to help.

OP posts:
Sunshineandgrapefruit · 16/08/2025 21:44

No but small kids can be hard work. Do you get any time to yourself?