Husbands “jokes” about him retiring before I do

Tell him you are retiring early - that will at least shut him up.

It isn't a surprise that he'll reach pension age 5 years earlier. What has come as a surprise to the OP is that he is being a smug prick about it, and rubbing her nose in it.

Besides, in the not too distant past, men retired at 65 and women retired at 60, so they would have retired at the same time.

Why did you marry him?
He came to you with debts and no savings and mooched off you.

he doesn’t lift a finger regarding housework

what was the appeal

I thinks it’s more the issue that OPs DH is acting immature and stressing her out by regularly teasing her and gloating about the fact he’ll be retiring earlier.

OP has the basic intelligence to be aware this would always be the case but it’s him that’s odd in refusing to stop teasing her like this when she’s already asked him previously to stop doing it. He’s basically rubbing her nose in it and I don’t think that’s acceptable surely?

Make your own “joke” back next time about how he’s also more likely to die before you as well 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tell him that statically speaking you'll live longer so will have a longer retirement.

Start making "jokes" about him working an extra ten years to repay you.

We will have to work to the very latest. Money shared. We feed each other when one has less money. Simple life , simple joys

He has another 7 years. He could leave the planet also, God forbid it...this thread isn't news, is it

You can make plans but noone can predict the future

From reading this thread I’m surprised that couples don’t talk about their retirement plans and the financial planning around it. Retirement is a big proportion of your life (hopefully) - sit down together and work out what income you are going to need and how you both want to spend the time

His comments, while jokey, are insensitive given how you're feeling about work at the moment. That said, I'm glad he's realised it and that you've been able to talk it through. Wishing you a long and happy retirement together, it sounds like you've earned it 💐

Is there a reason why you can't retire at the same time as him? Plenty of couples with fairly small age gaps do it, and now you've got 5 years to crunch the numbers, and do what you can to make that happen.

My dad retired at 50. He was a school teacher, and he'd just had enough. The hours, the stress. And at that point, he and mum had both had good inheritances from parents, not to mention a paid-off house and good savings of their own. My mum had never really worked, apart from a small one-day-a-week job when I was in my teens.

In hindsight, I'm so glad he retired when he did, as he died unexpectedly at 62. An age where he could have very easily still been working full time. Luckily, they managed to have a solid decade of happy retirement together.

I didn’t see another comment like this when I skimmed over it, I guess I thought there wasn’t more than one person to match such a dumb vile comment to their own husband

You mean to say you do all the washing, ironing , cooking, cleaning and other stuff?

I would be stopping doing any of it that benefits him. See how the lazy smug git likes not having any dinner or clean socks.

My DH is 6 years older than me and retired early, but he stepped up, did all the school runs and all the housework.

My husband retired a few years ago, he’s 9 years older than me. I’m still working FT. So we live on my salary which allows his superannuation (pension) to grow. He does all the house admin, cooking, shopping and running around (organising car services etc). I can just concentrate on work, I’m much less stressed on the home front. And because I’m essentially supporting us, any major purchases (I recently updated my car) comes out of his super. He’s happy to do all of this. The key thing is that I love my job, so I don’t want to retire yet. But as I will retire much later than him, we are now prioritising things that we can do together, like o/s trips. We both love to travel & have decided we shouldn’t wait until I’m retired for that.

It can work, you both just need to talk openly so you don’t feel you are being taken advantage of/taken for granted.

What a smug bastard!
Can you check your contribution with DWP to see if you have enough years in to retire early? I know you can’t get the SP early but if your contributions are up to the level required and you can live on your private pension why not retire early? At least it will two fingers to your smug FW husband.

Then he won't mind if you don't do it either and he lives in a shitheap with dirty dishes and no clean clothes or bedsheets.

This reminds me of a boyfriend I had many years ago. I didn't expect him to pay for everything and was very happy for us to take it in turns to pay and it was roughly equal. But every time it was my turn to pay, he'd start saying "Pay for me! Haha, pay for me, woman! I just got this meal for free while you paid!" He said he was joking but you know what they say about jokes and it really, really turned me off. Still annoys me to think about now. When he paid, I just said thank you and I appreciated it.

You're being taken for a mug op, I hope you can find your backbone and stop wasting your life doing any shopping, washing, cooking, cleaning or other unpaid work on his account.

He’s 5 years older. He’s worked or studied 5 more years. If it was going to be such a problem you should have married someone the same age.

Yeah that would annoy me if it was constant. Just remind him that he’s also 5 years older and that’s 5 years closer to death than you are (in theory!).

I'd be saying Im seriously thinking about a divorce as you refuse to consider my feelings
Im 63 OP and have totally lost any sense of humour about work because I am bloody knackered and completely worn down by it.
Repeated "jokes" would be more than I could stand.

But isn’t he due to retire before you?

i say this because your backstory of him being broke and you bailing him out sounds like resentment and regret over a decision you made.

are you projecting?

Right, but him talking about retiring earlier than you is the biggest problem in your marriage 😬

This tells you what he thinks of you doing the lion's share of everything in the home. Waste of YOUR life. Honestly he sounds awful and sees the drugdework as being beneath him, but not you. Do you want to stay together long term?

But quite happy for you to waste yours?