First night away with new boyfriend - should I be wary…

This is a good example of why the only opinion that matters is yours OP because half of the things I agree with this poster and half I don’t (eg the parking wouldn’t bother me in the slightest and I’d just have told him to shut the toilet door but it wouldn’t have bothered me).

OP only you know what is ok for and what isn’t.

It’s good to get other opinions but ultimately only you know if these things are deal breakers or not.

How are his pubes in the sink am I missing something 😂😂

Why are you evening asking? Run for the hills and never look back.

He’s mucky and thoughtless (probably also meaning he’s a bit more casual/relaxed around you than you’re happy with), so if that’s a dealbreaker for you, get rid.

But these are not ‘red flags’. I fucking hate that therapeutic language has been co-opted and simplified to mean ‘anything you don’t like’, or ‘someone’s being a bit of a dick’ when it’s actually meant to alert people to patterns of behaviour in relationships that could indicate potential future abuse.

The parking wouldn't really bother me - he was probably just embarrassed to say it was a money thing. Pubes in the sink, not nice but I couldn't get that worked up over it, would just tell him jokingly to clean it up next time and see if it happened again. I don't personally care about the open toilet door issue either, but equally, I'd never do it in front of my partner because I know he wouldn't like it - it's the sort of thing you can quite quickly work out about someone I think, so a bit weird that he obviously didn't gauge you right. The waitress thing would actually put me off more than all the others combined... especially if, as you say, you'd asked him not to say anything. I'm not good at complaining in restaurants but understand there are times when you "should" - it doesn't sound like this was one of those times if you were broadly happy with the meal and had told him not to make an issue of it.

I don't know, none of these things seem like a truly sackable offence on their own and they're probably all things that could be addressed and worked on if you're very keen on him... but from your post I'm not getting a great sense of you feeling like this guy is The One, or anything near it. If that's the case I probably wouldn't bother and would just end it.

Clippings and the leaving the door open may just be thoughtless habit, and while it would have been nice if he'd been more careful on your first night way together, it's likely that he can stop doing these things if asked.

The walking fifteen minutes is borderline; I'd probably do it myself if I found the savings worth it as overnight bags are not normally heavy, but pretty sure I wouldn't automatically expect anyone else to. The saying "there's no parking at the hotel" is more worrisome as it's a lie and one that you'd pretty inevitably discover.

Complaining about your food to the wait staff is a red flag IMO. Even if you hadn't specifically told him you didn't want to say anything, why would HE be more effective than YOU at communicating the problem with your side dish? He should have stayed out of it and left you the choice, perhaps offered his backup if you wanted a replacement but felt uncomfortable asking. The fact that he bulldozed in over your objections seems like a pretty early display of disrespecting your boundaries, and that can become a BIG issue later on.

The parking would irritate the life out of me.
I’d actually appreciate the restaurant complaint.
Why didn’t he do his personal grooming before he left home if he really must do it? I prefer men au naturel.
The loo door is horrible - just no.

If this is his best behaviour a few months in then imagine what he'll be like once he's comfortable... it would be a no from me.

Maybe have a chat with him about the stuff that concerns you I wouldn't just bin him off because a bit of a pubic hair in the sink or he parks his car away from the car park men in general are just weird creatures but I would possibly just have a chat with him if it bothers you

Raise your bar @AnnaJ89 and throw this one back, yuk.

He should have factored in £15 parking into the cost of the stay. No way would I want to walk 15 minutes to save £15 on a supposedly romantic night away. Tightness is a big red flag unless you are also a tightwad.

Haha sounds like my DH. He pooped with door open from about three weeks in. I mean, I can see why it would bother you, but I don't care.

Pubes in sink a no no, as is door open wht uding toilet. Parking i would have just been honest about cost.

So gross. Had you not spent the night together before tho?

GRIM!!! 🚩

Walking 15mins wouldn’t bother me.
If you were only going for 1 night then you wouldn’t have had much luggage.

Him not washing his hairs away is grim and I would be annoyed.

Depending on how he spoke to the waitress, would depend on if I had an issue with it.
You had an issue with your food which is why you mentioned it and then he told the waitress - which is a common thing to do.

The sitting on the toilet with the door open - I wouldn’t have allowed it to go on for 10mins.
I’d have just told him to shut the door the grubby twat and made a joke of it.
Lots of couple have the door open.

Unless he was rude to the waiter, then none of these things would be a deal breaker.

Its good you’re looking for red flags but no one is perfect and so I wouldn’t throw this one away just yet.

Turns out it did have parking, but he felt it was a rip off at £15 a night.
The dishonesty would have pissed me right off. He could have said parking is ridiculous, Ill drop you off and find cheaper, but he chose to lie a lie that would be found out in ten minutes. It is immature.

he said he was grooming ‘down below’ and had forgot to clear it.
You dont forget as you do it immediately before you leave the room. He isnt used to cleaning up after himself.

he made an issue of this to the waitress much to my embarrassment.
Attitude towards wait staff is something people are told to watch for on a first date. So yes that is a concern.

He used the loo this morning and left the door wide open , shouting out to me whilst sat there for what felt like 10 minutes.
Nope.

Men groom their pubes now ??
All these things are deeply off putting. He’s on his best behaviour at the moment, imagine how it would be if you lived with him…. Ughhh.

I don’t want a man who would make me lug my bags around for 15 minutes to save £15 on a romantic night away. Not for me. But you do you.

The pubes in the sink and using the toilet for a poo with the door open are grim- the latter would probably be enough for me to stop seeing the person.

The parking miles away is just tight and unattractive.

The incident in the restaurant would have embarrassed me too- so unnecessary.

I would take this as an early warning sign, as a PP said things will get worse.

£15 for parking when there's free parking not thst far away?

Not stingy, savvy in my book

I would bring this all up with him, and see what he says, that will be very telling.

Yeah I’d throw this one back. In his 30s but doesn’t want to spend £15 on parking? But then I can’t abide stingy men.

He should have dropped you and the bags at the hotel and then gone to find parking.

The hair stuff is totally gross and I would have made my disgust known - raised eyebrow at least.

The restaurant: you really should have spoken up and insisted. Men speaking for women is a worrying sign of controlling tendencies. Nip this in the bud.

The loo - OMG I would have firmly shut the door.

Are these instances indicative of a LTB situation? Each instance on its own might be excusable but collectively? I’d say go with your gut, but it certainly is very close to a dealbreaker.

Ah nothing like a romantic night away... arriving at a hotel hot and sweaty because he's too stingy to pay for nearby hotel parking, walking into the bathroom to find a sink full of his pubes, watching him behave like a cock and embarrassing you in the restaurant.

What a turn on! I bet you couldn't wait to rip his clothes off when you got back to the room after dinner. And again the next morning once he'd finished having a shit with the bathroom door open.

Truly, the stuff nightmares dreams are made of...