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AIBU?

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Husband and another woman!!!

34 replies

Tiredmumof3boy · 16/08/2025 16:18

My husband recently met a woman through a sport he follows. He claims they are just friends. My 2 older kids have met her through watching football games. They sit together during the games and have sat together during away games. It's the school holidays and he took the kids to meet her at a local park and for lunch. He didn't tell me about it. He then posted the photos onto social media sparking comments from my friends asking if everything is OK. I've told him I'm not at all happy that he took my kids to meet this woman and find it strange she wants to spend a weekday out with my husband and kids-she doesn't have kids. I've asked him how this day out came about as the sport season has ended therefore how and why are they still messaging each other. He's telling me I'm ridiculous and won't answer my questions. Am I being paranoid???

OP posts:
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Zanzara · 16/08/2025 22:26

If it were innocent, he'd have mentioned it.

That's it.

Gladysknightjustwalkinmyshoes · 16/08/2025 22:04

It's never Doris the staunch fan of 50+years of the club.
It's always a younger model and arranging a day out with the kids in tow...nah mate you're not on.

Sally2791 · 16/08/2025 21:51

He’s hiding in plain sight. Gaslighting as well.

arcticpandas · 16/08/2025 21:47

The meeting in the park was the nail in the coffin. Tell him straight out that it's not on. If he goes to meet her then he is not to bother coming home again. It's very disrespectful and he used your children so that it wasn't flagrant that this was a date. I'm sorry OP.

Trovindia · 16/08/2025 21:31

I don't think I would want him after this anyway, he's emotionally cheating and gaslighting you. Personally, I would chuck him out.

lovemycbf · 16/08/2025 21:17

No that’s not ok in anyway
I’d put a stop to it right away
it’s how affairs start
and I’d be utterly furious that he’d involved our children
totally unacceptable

MamaElephantMama · 16/08/2025 21:13

I would be enraged if I am being truthful.

Notquitethetruth · 16/08/2025 21:09

How would he feel if you were going to games or some other activity and meeting up with an almost 30 year old man? You then arranged to meet him outside the confines of the sport.
What do your children say about her? The whole thing is bizarre.

Homeandgarden · 16/08/2025 21:09

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 16/08/2025 21:07

When did you last have sex, OP?

What on earth has that got to do with it?

Are you trying to justify OP's H sniffing round another woman?

Sunshineandblueskysalltheway · 16/08/2025 21:07

When did you last have sex, OP?

SomewhatDissatisfied · 16/08/2025 21:05

NPET · 16/08/2025 17:01

Well I'll start from my firm belief that MEN CAN'T BE TRUSTED.
But here, I mean wtf?
There's obviously SOMEthing going on - I'm not suggesting it's necessarily a 'worst case scenario' as it sounds as if your children are usually with them.
But you're certainly right to be suspicious and want to thrash out any wrongdoings.
Sorry I should have started by saying that I feel sorry for you.

SO let me get this straight then a woman sniffing around a married man with kids lapping up the attention……but MEN can’t be trusted????

HelloHellNo · 16/08/2025 21:00

Honestly, I wouldn't care about him being friends with a woman.

I wouldn't be happy with the lying by omissions.

You are clearly unhappy with his " friendship" with this this girl. You are unhappy with him involving your kids with her. You are unhappy with him posting picture on social media. It doesn't matter if he's doing anything or not. Your not happy. You find the relationship inappropriate. Choosing to continue it under those circumstances tels you everything you need to know.

Tiredmumof3boy · 16/08/2025 20:59

She's nearly 30 x

OP posts:
Silverbirchleaf · 16/08/2025 20:55

It’s not unusual to chat to people at football faves, especially if you see them week in and week out. Friendships do develop.

However, planning to meet up for lunch and the park, is overstepping the mark. He probably thinks that, because the children were there, it’s all platonic, but then he boasted about it on social media. And why would she even go if there wasn’t a spark? That’s stepping into EA territory.

Do you know if they message outside games? If their conversation is only limited to matches, that’s not so bad. If more, then not so good.

Homeandgarden · 16/08/2025 20:53

If she goes to the matches with her Mum is she very young OP?

Even if her Mum wasnt working why on earth would he have been meeting up with this woman and her Mum anyway?
If their connection is going to football matches why is he meeting them in the park . Doesn't make any sense.

The only thing that actually does make sense of this meet up is him fancying the young woman.

Tiredmumof3boy · 16/08/2025 20:45

He's still insisting nothing is happening. He's said he's invited me to come along to games for months (true) but it's just not a sport for me. He said because he normally sits eith said girl and her mum who loosly know my mum then it's OK. And on the day in question this womans mum happened to be working. And sees such a little problem posted it on socials as genuinely can't see what is wrong. He's saying come along to next game and see!!! Not gonna lie I've either over reacted or bring completely gaslighted

OP posts:
Tiredmumof3boy · 16/08/2025 20:45

He's still insisting nothing is happening. He's said he's invited me to come along to games for months (true) but it's just not a sport for me. He said because he normally sits eith said girl and her mum who loosly know my mum then it's OK. And on the day in question this womans mum happened to be working. And sees such a little problem posted it on socials as genuinely can't see what is wrong. He's saying come along to next game and see!!! Not gonna lie I've either over reacted or bring completely gaslighted

OP posts:
MyAcornWood · 16/08/2025 20:21

I’d be absolutely fucking furious with him for using our children in his pathetic little game. He’s hiding in plain sight here op and thoroughly disrespecting you and your marriage in the process.

Tiredmumof3boy · 16/08/2025 20:19

Older 2 are 5 and 8 x

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BettyBobble · 16/08/2025 19:45

How old are your older children who he took to meet her

Lucyintheskywithdiamonnds · 16/08/2025 19:39

YANBU. He’s got a crush on her and she likes him. He can’t see her any more. You start doing the sport runs. She’s single and sniffing around and he’s well, a bloke.

Skybluepinky · 16/08/2025 19:37

Next he’ll be saying he is leaving as you are being unreasonable! Get rid.

TheHouseElf · 16/08/2025 19:16

Not OK. This is a marriage deal breaker - he ends his friendship with her, no more texts, no more meetings, or call quits on the marriage.

Floranan · 16/08/2025 17:22

if It’s all so innocent, would he be happy with you doing the same with a nice young man what sauce for the goose as they say

ginasevern · 16/08/2025 17:18

No, you're not being paranoid. This is usually how it starts. Does he really think you're that fucking stupid OP.