Is this the new CF normal?

I totally agree. 17 years ago when my son was younger, baby friends stared inviting us to christenings. I used to spend ages choosing thoughtful christening gifts. Once, I gave a friend’s daughter an engraved silver cup, only to overhear her later dismiss all her gifts as “loads of silver tat.” I was mortified. After that, I stuck to giving inscribed bibles. Some people are so ungrateful - I’d never expect or demand a gift.

So difficult when every human is so different and has different expectations. I think it’s polite to say thank you and pretty rude not to. I don’t think it’s fawning.

How extremely rude and I don’t blame you at all for not giving to the second baby. Somehow the rest of us all managed to thank our relatives and friends for gifts in the past however tired we were and without the ease of emails or texts.

I totally agree. The last two weddings I went to, gave £100 (evening guest) not even acknowledged, no thank you, nothing.
The last baby I bought for, my great niece, a note in the card with cheque , huge congrats, please let me know when I’m able to visit, would love to see the baby, I know it’s a busy time etc etc… nothing.
They've since had baby number two. I haven’t sent anything. Seems that’s not gone down well. Oh well. As they say, you reep what you sew. For every action, there’s a reaction!!!

I kind of get both sides. The weddings I’ve been to have all had on the invitation your presence is enough but if you wanted to gift please could we ask for money towards blah blah blah, which yes is asking for money but is optional saying that your presence is enough however if we wanted to gift them something they would prefer money so this is optional. Did they put that on theirs too or did they just ask for money and not give people an option to just bring their presence.
The general email saying thank you is you getting a thank you I don’t think you need a personal one when you are getting an email they have made for the guestlist.
The baby list asking for money or a gift from a certain shop is rude they should just let people get them what people want to get them.

If I gave anyone £200 for something like a wedding, a personal thank you is very much in order. It's a huge amount of money.

It's full of them now. Selish, entitled, talentless individuals. Such a sense of entitlement that they offer no respect or even listening skills. They can't do their job properly but think they can. They do not want to learn from other people with more experience. Why is this? What exactly have they been taught that they think they can be rude, sometimes lazy,, know better than anyone else but all 'know their rights'?
They have been brought up and schooled into believing they're just fabulous. They are not. Respect has to be earnt and proven. We are having to pick up the pieces of this utter debacle in society.
NB ( obviously not all but there are far too many that fit this description and I despair where we are heading.)

👏👏👏

Neither is the OP.

It all seems very grabby and impersonal to me. Weddings are to celebrate the love/marriage between two people. Giving a gift should be to be part of that celebration, not as a means for the bride and groom to get back more in gifts than they paid per head for the reception. We had a wedding list, but only gave it out when asked and had things with a selection of prices. Some family grouped together to get a more expensive item. Others bought off the list, or something similar to what was on the list if they couldn't find the same one. Others didn't use the list at all. We didn't have a baby list - some closer family members asked, but others chose their own gifts. All were appreciated. Sometimes things you didn't know you wanted end up being the best and most useful gifts. Have bought from a wedding list, but with a selection of prices. Never been given a baby list by anyone. Bought the same gift for the babies of a number of family and friends - sort of became a bit of a tradition for me to buy it. Bought it for my own child too and still have it 14 years later.

Buy a noisy toy and put the batteries in it. The noisier the better.

Jesus wept

the concept of a large gift being 'showing off' is a new one on me! Who thinks like that? Mean minded folk who feel that large gifts make THEM look stingy.?

You're hilarious!
Have you got the reaction you wanted yet?

I quite like a wedding list as it's easier for me but I think it's rude to ask for cash. I think it's also rude to ask for money or have a list for children's presents. YANBU.

Blimey. Someone touched a nerve. It is rude and entitled to expect money and not send a thank you card. No manners.

You’re a lovely kind thoughtful person, expect you get wonderful gifts from those lucky enough to be your friends 🙄

Well, I first came across gift registries for everything about 18-20yrs ago when an older friend was getting married. I remember there was engagement registry (slightly more pocket friendly) and wedding registry ( where we had to club together with 3-4 other friends to find smth we collectively could afford), followed by baby registry. All weddings since then have been comparable- banking account + registry.

Absolutely agree. I actually much prefer to give money because it saves me the stress of choosing a gift. I have also been to parties (40 and 50th) where the money was to go to a chosen charity. I love that.

I was brought up in the 60s/70s, any gift required a written thank you letter. Writing those to relatives I hardly knew was such a chore - but it did set a rule for life. So I expect something personal. I don’t even think that it should be according to the amount. Not everyone needs a “Dear aunty Elsie thank you for the jigsaw” type letter. I would be happy with a WhatsApp or a phone call - but a personal acknowledgment is absolutely needed - or they are unlikely to get another gift from me.

Baby stuff. I want to choose. I don’t give money unless at a baby shower. If it is clothes I would include a gift receipt. If it is a toy or book that I feel is special I don’t think I would give a receipt. My practical Neighbour made me smile when my daughter had a baby - she gave a beautiful outfit for a 12 to 18 month old. It will get used next year. BTW what daughter and friends do for all of the gifts of clothes is to meet up with giver with child dressed in said outfit. When this is not possible they send a photo of baby wearing said outfit.

I still expected my children to write proper personal handwritten thank yous for Christmas and birthday presents until they were 18
im 54
it is polite and decent

I love those hand knitted clothes for babies!

YANBU! I didn't dream of asking for anything for my wedding or after my boy was born.
I was thankful for what I received. People are unbelievably entitled these days. So disgusting & cringe when people ask for money or have lists.I'm 48

I totally agree with you