Is this the new CF normal?

No

People send a thank you which covers everyone

Heck the last one I went to, she popped a thank you on FB and highlighted the personalised gift from one guest. I too had done a personlised gift. I didn't feel slighted. I knew she was grateful, I didn't need her gushing on FB or sending me messages to know that. And that wasn't why I gave her that gift either.

I got my first baby shower invitation recently. I can’t go but checked with others who’d been invited and they’re still sending a gift. So I will too. The linked list has some verrry expensive things. Like a £240 bouncer! The mum is arranging the shower herself which I thought wasn’t the done thing.
I got a boring thing from the list but it’s a shame I don’t get the fun of choosing a cute outfit or toy and bringing it along when I get to meet the baby.

I’ve also been to a few weddings in last couple of years and have received lovely personal messages. Also for gifts I’ve bought for babies and toddlers. I must know gracious people.

Maybe it’s technology. There’s an app for everything now so it’s easy to put a wish list together. Not like when I got married and had to make an appointment at Debenhams!

Fawning to me means being given extra attention and praise and thanks

People appreciate that time is a commodity nowadays. They can send an email which thanks everyone and not waste 3 hours of their day writing personal thank yous to everyone. Then they have time for everything else they have to fit in.

I wouldn't give someone £300 for a wedding gift because that's so much. And if I recieved it I'd think the person was just showing off

I've also given £50, which is a lot for me to afford. I didn't expect gushing thanks then either

You’re probably using the wrong word anyway. As far as I’m aware, to fawn means to praise insincere attention and that’s not what the OP wants.

It's clearly a generational thing expecting a proper thank you, because as you say, it would take a long time to write sincere thank yous. A lot of us already know that because we wrote thank yous when we got married/had babies/christenings etc.

Yes. That you gave to make other people happy. Not to get a gushing thanks in return.

They sent a thank you. There was thanks.

P.s. have received personalised hand-written thank yous for all wedding gifts!

Coke and small token gifts don’t make a person shell out £300, these comparisons are not equal in effort or generosity.

YANBU and not normal. I'm in my 30s and lots of friends and family members now have children, never heard of asking for money!

@UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld You're expecting them to fanny around sending potential 50+ personalised emails

For a wedding? Yes. Do people genuinely not do that any more?

There is a difference between courtesy and fawning (courtesy does not involve mass emails and it is not fawning to thank somebody individually). I guess you didn't get the memo.

I was married 46 years ago. And yes, I did sit and hand write 50+ thank you cards.
People had more manners then.

“Fawn pathetically over people “ = thanking them personally.

Tell me you’re ignorant, rude and arrogant without telling me etc etc

Oh and - which charm school did you go to?

I had a baby shower recently and asked for no 0-3 month baby grows as I am saturated in that size already (handed down from my daughter) and gave a few things I needed all £10-£15 and some less, a few more expensive ones but the message was totally ignored and only really got given lots of 0-3 🤣🤣🙈

anyways luckily I had time to exchange them or it would have been quite the waste (I could have used them instead of the stock I had already but seemed a bit pointless)

Grandparents of the baby on DH side chipped in £50 in cash, this is a bit expensive their expectations 🤯considering cheapest gift was £65 🤯.

Absolutely. The gift IS about the giver as well as the recipient.

I’ve just had a baby and didnt tell people what to buy or where to send money. I find that vulgar. If people want to buy a gift or gift money then that’s their choice, it’s not for me to dictate what or how they give.

I agree! Atheist (but culturally Christian - brought up as a church goer etc). If you have a Christening it’s logical to assume you are genuine about the meaning and implications of that commitment.

@the5thgoldengirl Were you raised by wolves? comment of the year! 🤣🤣🤣

Horrible attitude.

Is this what we’ve come to in 2025?

I was brought up to be grateful, to either write a personal letter, phone the person or thank them face to face.

Email now makes a personal thank you dead easy.

What is wrong with people like you? Didn’t your parents teach you?🙄

Aside from never expecting a gift, I love that gifts chosen by others are varied and unique, rather being limited by my own research and imagination.

We never had a 'list' but were given some great gifts. The top 3 were
Kenwood Cheffette mini mixer and blender.
Feather Double Duvet
Card with a fiver in which we used for a fish supper later that night as we didn't go on Honeymoon, camping in Brittany, till the next day.
Mind you it was 1975 and we celebrated our Golden Anniversary last week. 🤗

Baptism - I always buy a Bible book - as that’s what baptism is about . God - not expensive gifts.

I'm an atheist, but if anyone were to imply that gifts were expected for their child's baptism, they would be getting a Bible or prayer book of some kind, and I would take care that it was the version approved by their denomination. Let them come back and say "Actually we were hoping for a nice big Duplo set, it's probably what Jesus would buy" if they want. <smiles innocently>

It sounds like this is your DH family and to them it’s normal! Nope I don’t know anyone who does this! I’ve been various events and people have asked for money and sent wish lists etc but the bottom price has always been low to allow for all of their friends and family to celebrate and not feel mean or stressed. And there has always been a big caveat - your company is your gift to us so please don’t stress about other gifts. Yes thank you cards or emails always depending on personality (some friends feel ‘obliged/guilted’ to do personal and others do not). This is my normal. Very few do gender reveals and baby showers as a lot of my friends are a bit cyclical about this let’s celebrate for any old reason and all look at me.
Some friends love this but they do it and don’t demand expensive gifts - more a we love an excuse to party and get together come join us.
So yep it’s CF and I don’t think standard yet thank god!

A Little opinion from the other side here. When we had our first baby, people bought what they wanted and, although we were grateful, a lot of it wasn’t used as people all bought tiny sizes (and my babies were big!) or the outfits just weren’t to my taste. We also got a lot of things that we just didn’t need too much of, such as a billion muslins when I didn’t have sicky babies or multiple blankets - we really didn’t need that many!
So, with our second baby who was born less than 3 years later and the same sex, we did generally tell people that we’re likely to buy a gift that we very much appreciated the thought but we already had lots of baby clothes, muslins, blankets etc and vouchers for JL would be more useful. I was then able to buy all the extra bits, such as a new breast pump, new cot mattress and a buggy board that I actually needed!
We did send individual thank you messages to everyone though and did make it clear that we were more than happy if people didn’t bring a gift

I get you OP. Entitlement off the chart. I remember being given beautiful little handmade blankets and thoughtful bits from family and friends when my son was born. They meant the world. OK, there were one or two horrors but you'd use them and be thankful. Now the list of demands is frankly ridiculous.