Is this the new CF normal?

Good idea about about a Bible gift as that is the meaning of the event and not a gift grab. I say that as somebody without religious belief.

Baby showers and gender reveals are honestly the most entitled thing. No one enjoys going to these - sitting around with a load of people you probably don’t know for what reason? It’s just so the mother to be can get gifts. It’s so grabby. Just wait until the baby is here when people at least may get to look at or cuddle a cute baby instead of sniffing a nappy rubbed in marmite - makes me cringe.

It’s so everything is high net worth for the ‘gram’ account

Now there are babies this might become an annual thing, actually you have baby birthday and wedding anniversary

Ah. That changes things then. Thats incredibly rude.

Back when it seemed people actually had manners you sent a written personal thank you card to everyone who bought a gift. Now you can't even be bothered with an email. Entitled CFs.

£300 each! No way would I ever gift so much or could even afford to! £200 for a friend's child!!!
I think you're bonkers giving so much!

I don’t think it’s an awful idea but it depends how it is done as to whether I find it cheeky. We’ve been to weddings which have the “your presence is gift enough, but if you do want to give something then money towards xyz would be much appreciated” on the invites and I don’t think that’s bad really. People live together before getting married now, they don’t need items really so I think suggesting if you do want to give a gift, although don’t have to, money is appreciated.

The baby thing again, I think it depends how its done. We have a toddler and it never occurred to me to do a list or anything like that, didn’t ask or expect anyone to buy anything for our baby, some people did buy gifts for her and we ended up with lots of newborn or 0-3 clothes that never got worn because she grew too fast or just had too many, so they did go to waste in that we never used them. Now pregnant with baby number 2 and was hoping maybe those items could be used for this baby, but this one is a boy so won’t be wearing a pink “new baby girl” sleepsuit😂 I can see the benefit if you have people asking what you need/want in letting them know what you need so that at least you do get things that are useful. I have a friend who had made a baby gift list thing on Amazon which had things they needed on & she let people know it existed in a “if you do want to get us something then here’s some ideas but no pressure” way, the list had items for a few £ like baby shampoo up to I think from memory a baby carrier £85 was the most expensive thing on there, most things I would say were around £10-15, again I don’t think this is bad.

BUT I was invited to a colleague’s baby shower a couple of months ago which had a “gift” QR code on it, scanning that took you to her 3 baby registries and similar to you OP the cheapest thing on any of them was around the £80 mark and I thought that was just really cheeky.

Definitely this.
Giving details of gift registers/lists/bank details for money transfers etc WITHOUT BEING ASKED FIRST is incredibly rude.
You should never assume someone wants to give you a present, and should express gratitude for anything you receive.

Wow! Do you have any manners at all?

If i couldn't attend a baby shower i wouldn't send a gift i would just buy something when the baby comes

YANBU ,it's very cheeky.
We have two weddings this year. One sent a link to a page where you pay money towards their honeymoon. You had to buy things, such as afternoon tea for two, a couple's massage, etc., all really expensive. We ignored it and gave them cash, but got no thank you.
For the other wedding, on the invitation they state that they don't expect any gift as they have been together a while and have what they need. We gave them a gift card so they can treat themselves to something. We gave them considerably more than we gave the money-grabbing CFs. We got a lovely thank you card too!

Sadly, it seems to be pretty much the norm these days.

Whereas in the past the norm was to send a thank-you card with a personal message, usually accompanied by a photo from the wedding.

I still feel that a personalised email that refers to the gift and includes a photo is not too much to expect.

If someone gifts you £300 it's rude as hell not to send a personal thank you. I would send a personal thanks for any gift.

300 euros. Wow. Where do you live and what's your income

I would never give money but I would tell them I never give money
with the reason so they are in no doubt

Id then buy something

Our two nieces, one mine, one his, asked for money when they got married. One towards a 3 week exotic honeymoon in Asia (a holiday we couldn't have afforded) as they didn't need anything. The other asked for money to refurbish their kitchen (I would have liked to do up my own kitchen). Think we gave them £100 each. We also spent a few hundred on travel and hotels. I think we got generic thank you emails. Both young women left their husbands within a year of the weddings. One because she was annoyed her husband didn't want children, and one because she decided she is a lesbian. Both situations were avoidable you'd think. It does seem entitled and immature

This is such a good point! I agree, our babies received some lovely clothes/accessories/toys from different shops from where we live. Also things we didn’t know about as first time parents which were really useful! Great for little ones to try out some different things.

The only time I was ever invited to a baby shower, I made an excuse not to go because I was chatting to my mother about it and we both for whatever reason felt it was a bit of a "tempting fate" behaviour. I will admit we're both a bit superstitious, but then the mum tragically lost her baby during labour at 41 weeks due to marginal cord insertion. So now I'm definitely never ever going to a baby shower!!

Yeah, oh I dunno, I’d hazard a wild guess that they wouldn’t suffer TOO much if you closeted yourself away for an hour or two writing thank you notes.

My parents had a registry for their wedding, and they were married in 1983. Both from very working-class families, didn't have a honeymoon. I know they got a shit-ton of presents though. Most of them were "useful" things but a lot of them were expensive. It may seem more tacky to ask for money, but when you're already living together, you're less likely to have a need for the sorts of things my parents asked for. But wedding registries are not at all new.

Never ever heard of anyone asking for money for a baby or having a "registry" for that, though.

I think money for weddings now is the norm so that wouldn't bother me. I would rather give money so the couple can use the money for something useful. However, asking upfront for guests to pay funds into an account I think is cheeky..

I hate people trying to force guests to buy particular things for a new baby though. I think that is entitled behaviour, I certainly never asked for anything , and was greatful for anyone who bought a gift for my baby at the time. I am of this generation you speak of, we aren't all like this.

@ChocolateCinderToffee

IMO, you wait until you are asked what you would like and you don't ask for money unless that's your cultural norm.

👍👍

2 people attending, I've never heard of couple gifts needing to be bigger than those of an individual. If your invite is for a couple that's one gift