Friend went to the queens funeral and not my mums

But you didn't lie about it did you - you were upfront. I think that's the crux of the issue here, that the friend lied.

I think we all accept that some people were deeply affected by it (I wasn't and never would be), but that's not what is at the heart of this thread.

Not being arsey but why was it more important than a family occasion?

I can't believe anyone would pick YABU.

I'm very sorry. Maybe your friend regrets it? Could you ask her if she does? If she hears you out and apologizes, I could see the friendship repairing.

Otherwise, I don't think I could forgive it.

I think you are so within your rights to feel upset, but for some people it was very important to attend the Queen’s lying in state.

I actually missed my nephews first birthday party to attend - my husband was very upset but we moved past it. It was something I felt very strongly about, and nothing would have stopped me going.

But equally I understand that to many that’s completely unreasonable, and I wouldn’t say they’re wrong. I am so sorry for your loss.

YANBU.

Maybe there was a work thing she couldn't get out of and while she was in London attending it she thought she'd pop along to the queens thing.
Also, the queen lay in state for about a week so presumably she could have gone in any of those days?

I'm sorry for your loss OP but I think you need to cut your friend some slack if she's a good friend in other ways. It was 3 years ago and presumably impossible for you to verify.

Oh wow. That’s low of her. And then to lie about it?! I’m sorry for your loss OP. I wouldn’t be able to get past that I don’t think.

Not a good friend. She should have prioritised you. It would change my view

Sorry to hear that. She sounds like a shit friend (same for the poster above who's dad clashed with princess diana 😒 shame on them too.)

It's performative grief - wanting to be part of some largescale emotional event.

I don't say that to justify her behaviour OP - she has treated you shabbily and been deceitful. As she is your best friend it must be very disappointing

The lying in state lasted for 6 days - are you 100% sure it was the same day?

It was really poor behaviour by her and I'd feel let down too. Can you discuss it with her, it could clear the air, or end the friendship.

I would find it hard to get over her lying, so I think airing it with her is thevway to go.

Was she closer to the Queen than to your mum or something? Is the drip feed that she's Princess Anne?

God that’s horrible. Ditch her!

I had similar @MinnieCauldwell. Then the 'friend' who was sobbing about Diana said my dad was lucky as he had gone to a better place. I never forgive her.

You feel betrayed because she lied to you and that's totally fair enough. I don't think it even matters where she was - even if she'd gone to Chessington for the day - she said she couldn't get the time off work, when she clearly could. It's up to you if you want to take her to task over it of course. I can't stand being lied to either and it's caused me to end friendships before because for me trust is a big part of friendship.

Deleted - duplicate post.

If she actually got an invite to the funeral, it must have been as the representative of a charity or an organisation with royal patronage? I imagine it would be fairly hard to turn that down, if offered - I know someone who was invited to attend to represent the National Federation of Young Farmers’ Clubs (he was the elected President at the time) and it was a massive honour for him. Your friend should have been honest, however.

If she just went to the lying in state or to stand in the street, that is incredibly poor behaviour from her - definitely not what you would expect from a true friend.

But OPs friend went to the Queens, presumably to stand on the street.

One of my closest friends was at my dads funeral , the other wasn’t and it’s never been an issue - not everyone wants to go to funerals unless very close relatives

My Dad died 2 days before Princess Diana. Friends journeyed to London to lay flowers but never got me flowers, not even a card.

ouch. More the lying I think.

an invite to the actual funeral then I would have given her my blessing, that’s not something you’d refuse.

did she support you otherwise? Apart from your mum’s funeral?