It’s not my fault I have to go and get water

Longoverduelibrarybook · 2025-08-16T10:54:51+00:00

Does anyone find this attitude odd Dh off work and Dd wants him around a lot He went to go and pay a bill this morning and forgot to get water and Vimto. When he got home I asked about the drinks and he said he’d forgotten and would go and get them. Dd started making a fuss saying she didn’t want him to go back out as he’d only just got in. He said ‘It’s not my fault I have to go and get water’ to which Dd said to me ‘It’s your fault!’ I said ‘It’s nobody’s fault that we need water and drinks for the house hold, just like when I have to go and get shopping (90% of the time it’s me) Does anyone else find this an odd thing to say?

LBFseBrom · 20/08/2025 14:06

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 12:01

We’re abroad, have to drink bottled water

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Oh fair enough, can't take chances. Stock up well in future, can you have it delivered?

MoveOverToTheSea · 20/08/2025 08:03

SnackAckerTack · 16/08/2025 18:38

What exactly about this makes you think i a) have heatstroke, and b) need a wobble? Did you manage to read to the end of my post, guess it might have been a little long for you?

She's in her pj's, takes 2 minutes to throw on going out clothes, jump in the car. Leave him to deal with the other things she was planning on doing. - which he isn't going to do, because it's easier for him to go back out and get the water, than cleaning and other chores she has planned.

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I very much doubt he would have stepped up to do the chores she was doing.
I mean the reason why he was going on about being forced to go out again is because of his dd.

So if the OP had gone put instead, hed have spent that time with her. Not doing the chores.

Endorewitch · 19/08/2025 00:18

Much Ado about Nothing I think!If this is all you have to worry about ,you are very lucky. Don't think you should read anything into his comment. He was just calming hid dd down as he had promised to play with her. Why didn't he take her?5 mins away.
Frankly if it was causing problems,I would have gone myself. It all seems so petty.

AtomHeartMotherOfGod · 18/08/2025 23:59

Don't know really. I guess I agree with her to an extent, if you have outlawed the drinking of our perfectly good tap water.

Is squash essential? I agree with others that you should probably just put up with tap water until you next go to the shops.

SnackAckerTack · 16/08/2025 18:38

Theunamedcat · 16/08/2025 13:17

He was dressed keys in hand she was in her pj's so you want her to stop what she is doing get dressed ready to go out all to do something her husband FORGOT to do correctly the first time?

I think mumsnet has fucking heatstroke

Go drink some water and give yourself a wobble while your at it

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What exactly about this makes you think i a) have heatstroke, and b) need a wobble? Did you manage to read to the end of my post, guess it might have been a little long for you?

She's in her pj's, takes 2 minutes to throw on going out clothes, jump in the car. Leave him to deal with the other things she was planning on doing. - which he isn't going to do, because it's easier for him to go back out and get the water, than cleaning and other chores she has planned.

Original poster

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 18:30

ErrolTheDragon · 16/08/2025 18:25

Mind you, the assumption that the OP is in Britain and most likely has lovely northern water on tap is understandable in the context of Vimto being the other missing essential, but Wikipedia tells me it’s also popular in the gulf Arab states, The Gambia and Senegal. So I’ve learned something from this thread.

😂

OP posts:

ErrolTheDragon · 16/08/2025 18:25

Mind you, the assumption that the OP is in Britain and most likely has lovely northern water on tap is understandable in the context of Vimto being the other missing essential, but Wikipedia tells me it’s also popular in the gulf Arab states, The Gambia and Senegal. So I’ve learned something from this thread.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 16/08/2025 18:14

Bikergran · 16/08/2025 17:08

Nobody needs to get water. Ridiculous waste of money and plastic. Tap water is super safe in this country. In fact bottled mineral water can actually be bad for babies. If you're fussy you can get a Brita jug and keep it in the fridge.

“this country”?! The internet is not a country and has no water supply, safe or otherwise.

momager1 · 16/08/2025 18:03

Bikergran · 16/08/2025 17:08

Nobody needs to get water. Ridiculous waste of money and plastic. Tap water is super safe in this country. In fact bottled mineral water can actually be bad for babies. If you're fussy you can get a Brita jug and keep it in the fridge.

Oh dear god. A brita jug would not save our water here from parasites. Not everyone lives in a country with safe drinking water. Like the OP. And like ME.

Original poster

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 17:12

Bikergran · 16/08/2025 17:08

Nobody needs to get water. Ridiculous waste of money and plastic. Tap water is super safe in this country. In fact bottled mineral water can actually be bad for babies. If you're fussy you can get a Brita jug and keep it in the fridge.

Lol

OP posts:

Bikergran · 16/08/2025 17:08

Nobody needs to get water. Ridiculous waste of money and plastic. Tap water is super safe in this country. In fact bottled mineral water can actually be bad for babies. If you're fussy you can get a Brita jug and keep it in the fridge.

Original poster

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 17:05

Rainbowcat99 · 16/08/2025 17:02

No it isn’t, next time this sort of thing happens instead of saying it’s nobody’s fault, why not be honest and say something like “well you are the one who forgot it though!” Push back on the narrative that daddy is fun and never to blame whilst mummy is the one who steals their fun.

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100% thank you 🙏

OP posts:

Rainbowcat99 · 16/08/2025 17:02

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 16:58

Yes I totally get what you’re saying, not fair to always be seen as bad cop

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No it isn’t, next time this sort of thing happens instead of saying it’s nobody’s fault, why not be honest and say something like “well you are the one who forgot it though!” Push back on the narrative that daddy is fun and never to blame whilst mummy is the one who steals their fun.

Original poster

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 16:58

MoveOverToTheSea · 16/08/2025 16:55

I really hope too! Sincerely, that would be awful.

id just get worried your dh is creating that culture (for want of a better word) where you’re the bad guy. You’re the one stopping her/them having fun. You’re responsible (but never him), you’re the one stepping up (but never him) Etc etc….
When he says somethimg like this, I would push back with something like ‘yep. Youre the one who forgot to stop and buy the water 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️’.

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Yes I totally get what you’re saying, not fair to always be seen as bad cop

OP posts:

MoveOverToTheSea · 16/08/2025 16:55

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 16:39

She’s my Dd, I don’t think she doesn’t want me there or I hope not 😔

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I really hope too! Sincerely, that would be awful.

id just get worried your dh is creating that culture (for want of a better word) where you’re the bad guy. You’re the one stopping her/them having fun. You’re responsible (but never him), you’re the one stepping up (but never him) Etc etc….
When he says somethimg like this, I would push back with something like ‘yep. Youre the one who forgot to stop and buy the water 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️’.

Original poster

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 16:39

MoveOverToTheSea · 16/08/2025 16:31

That’s why I said MIGHT @Longoverduelibrarybook

A big assumption on my part but she certainly has learnt you’re the bad wolf that stops her from spending time with her dad.
Which is a big issue in its own

EDIT
Just realised, I assume the dd was your STEPdd and his dd (but not yours) hence my assumption.
If she is your dd too, then it’s an even bigger issue

Edited

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She’s my Dd, I don’t think she doesn’t want me there or I hope not 😔

OP posts:

ErrolTheDragon · 16/08/2025 16:33

YANBU, op. Ignore the posters with poor reading comprehension.
it was nobody’s fault but his own that he forgot the drinks so needed to pop back out and get them. It’s a trivial thing, but failing to be responsible for your own mistakes is a poor lesson for a child - your DD seems not to have fallen for it anyway.

MoveOverToTheSea · 16/08/2025 16:31

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 13:58

My Dd isn’t keen on me being there?

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That’s why I said MIGHT @Longoverduelibrarybook

A big assumption on my part but she certainly has learnt you’re the bad wolf that stops her from spending time with her dad.
Which is a big issue in its own

EDIT
Just realised, I assume the dd was your STEPdd and his dd (but not yours) hence my assumption.
If she is your dd too, then it’s an even bigger issue

MoveOverToTheSea · 16/08/2025 16:28

Boomer55 · 16/08/2025 16:05

This. Go and get the water yourself. 🤷‍♀️

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Why?
is the OP the default problem solver in the house?
is it ok fur her dh to never take responsibility ‘because OP could have done it instead’.

If it’s the way you live your life, you might want to learn to grow a backbone because I can tell you, you’re taken advantage of if that’s your automatic reaction.

Original poster

Longoverduelibrarybook · 16/08/2025 16:05

Boomer55 · 16/08/2025 16:05

This. Go and get the water yourself. 🤷‍♀️

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Seriously

OP posts:

Boomer55 · 16/08/2025 16:05

BlueMum16 · 16/08/2025 12:16

So it was his fault he had to go back for water.

Why couldn't you go?

Why couldn't child go with him?

Not sure this is a big enough deal to be posting on MN.

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This. Go and get the water yourself. 🤷‍♀️

zingally · 16/08/2025 15:59

Kids say all sorts of random, faintly unkind shit. Whatever.

Cactiiii · 16/08/2025 15:46

BerryTwister · 16/08/2025 15:26

@Cactiiii I moved to a rural location 20 years ago when I left my ex, when my baby was 2 weeks old. It pretty quickly became apparent that I would need to stock up on things, because being alone, with a tiny baby, in a village with no shops, was simply not going to work if I didn’t keep on top of things. I got into the habit of stocking up, and I’ve never got out of it. Can you explain why that makes me boring?

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Yawn

Moneyworries890 · 16/08/2025 15:38

Why say it's nobody's fault? A much better reply is "silly dad forgot, he's gotta go out again because we can't be without water".

Protecting him and casting him as an infallible human to your DD will do you no favours in the long run. You'll be the bad guy and he'll be the fun one. You can shut it down easily at the age of 4, less easy at 14.

LBFseBrom · 16/08/2025 15:36

Do you not have running water in your house? It's an odd thing to ask for.

If you need something urgently, try deliveroo. You can usually get things delivered in less than an hour.