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AIBU?

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When someone dies.....

209 replies

Wiltshiregirl06 · 16/08/2025 09:53

Posting for traffic here, all suggestions welcome.

A relative lives a very reclusive life, think a farm house in the middle of nowhere, not much contact with others, apart from occasionally getting shopping delivered from another distant relative.
If he dies, how would we find out or be notified? The distant relative doesn't have my contact details, I don't have theirs. The relative in question is elderly, doesn't see or hear well, can't read be or write very well and isn't likely to have our details to hand, or be able to read it if they did.
Is there anywhere we can register that we (my family and my father) are next of kin? Just to complicate matters, my father and them fell out some years ago and don't speak.
Thank you.

OP posts:
Trumpthecant · 16/08/2025 10:00

Do you actually want to form a relationship with them and help them? If so, go visit them. Or do you just want to be told when they die so you can get inheritance?

DiordreBarlow · 16/08/2025 09:59

They might well have made all their own arrangements for who they want to be contacted. Other than that, what @spoonbillstretford said.

KiteFlight · 16/08/2025 09:59

Why would you want to be informed if you don’t see or have contact with the relative?

Othersnotsomuch · 16/08/2025 09:59

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 16/08/2025 09:58

Does it matter if a distant relative you are not in contact with did die and you didn’t find out?

If you want a relationship with them, get in contact.

If you want an inheritance, then the person dying without a will would die intestate and would follow that process legally. They may though have a will, and everything has been allocated.

It matters because the Op wants to be notified re the will although given not on speaking terms… probs not in the will

Although maybe op hoping he hasn’t updated will and she’ll inherit automatically as next of kin

Member869894 · 16/08/2025 09:59

Blimey. If there was ever someone hoping to be a beneficiary this is it

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 16/08/2025 09:58

Does it matter if a distant relative you are not in contact with did die and you didn’t find out?

If you want a relationship with them, get in contact.

If you want an inheritance, then the person dying without a will would die intestate and would follow that process legally. They may though have a will, and everything has been allocated.

spoonbillstretford · 16/08/2025 09:57

Go and see them and get to know them while you can, and find out what their wishes are in this regard.

RepoTheGeriatricOpera · 16/08/2025 09:57

Does this person even want you to be next of kin?

You can't just decide that by yourself.

The best thing to do would be speaking to the person and ask what arrangements they have made rather than ignore them in life and expect to be informed about their death.

Othersnotsomuch · 16/08/2025 09:54

You hoping for a slice of the pie presumably