When someone dies.....

It was traumatic having to read "husband Mum cousin" without the 's on the end.

First cousin once removed (your husband to his mum's cousin).

@Nottodaty

Husband's mum's cousin!

we had a odd situation with my husband Mum cousin (2nd cousin?) she lived a very quiet life, didn’t really want visitors. Had a daughter but was very LC with her. We exchanged cards etc One Christmas I realised we hadn’t received a card, mentioned it to MIL she phoned but no answer, reached out to her daughter who also hadn’t heard from her.

It turned out she had been admitted to hospital early December been quite poorly but didn’t want anyone contacted. She very sadly passed away alone at new year. She wanted no fuss and as she used to often say be no trouble to anyone.

How do you know it's a grandparent?

Today is the anniversary of someone who died. I was extremely close to them and was with them in their last moments. I genuinely clicked on this thread to offer some hope or advice because I thought it was concern about dealing with the death of loved one. Actually speechless to the content of it. OP you should be ashamed.

It doesn't sound like you have a relationship with them. If you want to change that the time to do that is now, when it can make a difference, if they are open to it and it would enhance their life.

Although if you haven't bothered up until now it could look a bit agenda-driven, even if it isn't.

As PPs said, the police will knock your door as you are next of kin. I didn't have much contact with my dad and it was miles way and his local police force told my police force to tell me

think a farm house in the middle of nowhere

Is it a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere @Wiltshiregirl06?

If they were to die at home, someone would need to notice they were missing otherwise they could be there for weeks/months/years.

I had a not immediate relative who lived alone but I was very close to (and was his only living relative) and he was very popular with lots of connections. He had mentioned on the phone to a friend who lived miles away that he hadn't felt well. When his friend tried to contact him a couple of hours later to see how he was and couldn't get a response, the friend called the local police who found him deceased at home. The friend told police about me as a relative but only knew my first name and no contact details. The officers couldn't find his mobile phone (took me weeks to find it!) but took his diary. In the diary they found a phone number for someone he had been due to meet for lunch the next day so they called him to try and find some info. He was the ex husband of a late cousin who was in the area and they were meeting up for lunch and a catch up. This chap managed to give them the number for a family friend who was able to give them the number of someone else who knew where I used to work. Police then contacted my old workplace who gave them my details and officers turned up on my doorstep about 12 hours later to inform me.

Long story short, they went to a lot of administrative effort to locate me as next of kin from very little initial info.

Not sure why it took them quite so long as he'd been in and out of hospital and I was documented as NoK each time with POA etc.

There was me actually initially thinking you were concerned that they passed away and the poor souls body would be left undiscovered, and wanted advice on how to check they were ok. But you’re after their money?

Is there anywhere we can register that we (my family and my father) are next of kin?

I doubt it. Your relative will nominate his 'next of kin' himself. He can leave his money to whomsoever he chooses.

Have you noticed that the thread title is when someone dies. Not when my grandparent dies.

Ice cold....

The police will contact next of kin, which I suspect will be your dad. It’s not difficult to trace in most instances. The police came round and told my dad when my grandma was as found dead. He already knew because we were in close contact with her and with her neighbours who had raised the alarm when she didn’t open the curtains one morning. Do you want a relationship with this relative?

He will have hopefully leave his estate to his carers that deserve the money or the cats home. You certainly don’t. How sad you are just sniffing around for his money without caring for him at all during his actual life time. Disgusting.

Why are bothered if you aren't interested in them while they are alive?

Chances are you'll be in line for the grand sum of hee-haw as they'll be leaving it all to the local cat home.

Creepy thread. If you were concerned about this man's difficult situation, I presume you would have already made an effort to get in touch, reach out, offer help, visit etc etc .
You haven't which leads us to only one reason for your post. Sad.

Your family may well have been disinherited.

I wouldn’t be getting involved with this, you all don’t speak so… nothing to be done. The other distant relative that helps out would handle all affairs and hopefully be left any inheritance

If you have fallen put and don't speak, why does it matter?

If they have left you a bequest, the executors will trace you.

If they haven't left you a bequest, it's none of your business.

Why doesn't your father write and arrange to visit.

If you blink very hard, you may find the pound signs disappear from your eyes.

Can you get in touch with the other distant relative who is competent to order the shopping? Do you know if the reclusive relative has legal or heath power of attorney in place?

Clearly that shopping-helper-relative has a relationship and would know if the reclusive relative died, so that is the obvious “way in” And may be able to suggest if it is possible to facilitate an introduction so you could visit.

You can’t insist that you are next of kin and you can’t register yourself as someone’s next of kin.

My initial thought as well.

why does it matter, OP?

If they wanted to be in contact with you they would.

Am I being thick but how can OP be next of kin but her own Father is still alive?

A relative from the mums side?

Money

does relative has some wealth that you are looking to benefit from only reason that I could think you are asking never spoke to them in life but they near dead so now wanna cash in