When someone dies.....

I did. My answer remain same
eyeroll that With you RTFT

Lots of assumptions on here and lots of slagging off OP but you don't even know the situation so just answer the question.

I would make sure logged with GP and I would contact 101 and advise of his living situation and that he is not well and chooses not to be in contact but you do have responsibilities should they pass away etc and log your info with them linked to his address.

I would also speak to rellie that is organising shopping etc make sure they have your contact and you could also help out with that in terms of cost etc.

Sometimes age and ill-health can mean they choose no contact as don't want to be mithered etc and less to do with inheritance etc. I know I have relatives that I am not in touch with but were they to pass away I would want to make sure things were handled for funerals etc.

For information as solicitors are reluctant to store them these days.

Destroying a will (if it gets found out) is a criminal offence

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/store-a-will-with-the-probate-service

Around us (not UK)the local police station are happy to keep some details on people in the area who are old and vulnerable. When we were concerned about my FIL going for a walk and getting lost (dementia building) we gave them a call with his name, address and our names and phone number. They were grateful and said they wished more people did that as it would make their lives easier if there was a problem. They also asked us to drop off a photo of him (which we did). Maybe this might work for your friend?

Please RTFT 🙄

I was holidaying in the UK walking to a town through out of the way fields and little pathways when we can across a Police car being driven through one of the fields.

Offered to open the gate for them and got chatting, the police officer was saying how there's a few elderly people living in the more secluded farms and properties dotted about and as it doesnt take long they include it as part of their duty and do a quick welfare check on them.
Thought that was a nice thing to do.

My thoughts are- this person is a grown adult who is choosing to be reclusive.

If he doesnt want a next of kin then that is entirely his prerogative. Yes, it's a horrible thought to think he could die and remain there without being found for a while but he must be aware of this consequence if he is reclusive. I mean, its bloody obvious isnt it?

Unless someone lacks capacity to make their own decisions, its entirely on him if he ends up not being discovered after passing away and yes it is not very nice but as I said, we all have the right to make our own decisions in life, even if they are considered "unwise" by others.

Could your friend or her DFather perhaps find out ‘relatives’ GP, surely must have 1 even if not ‘used’?
Police do have a way of just checking some1 is alright, but can’t remember what it’s called soz.

You do not see them in life do not check in or engage but want to nominate yourself as NoK and know what happens when they die
How very unsavoury

Yes, but other pps (myself included) think that you can't just phone up services and insert yourself in someone else's business without some involvement of the individual concerned, which sounds like a reasonable assumption, don't you think?

As pp have next of kin is not legally binding .

Its more about registering that the person is vulnerable. Lives alone, only has occasional contact from the other distant relative, poor sight and hearing, can't read. This person should be on the radar of social services.

Sorry saw the update that this is a friend not you.

How would anyone know if this person dies? Hopefully someone would realise he hasn’t had a delivery or whatever and get a welfare check done. Or perhaps this person has a more of a social life than you know of if you are not in contact?
Anyway, initially a death is reported to the police/healthcare professional. The council will have a bereavement service. They will search the property for any paperwork, ask neighbours etc. Often you are asked for a ‘in case of emergency contact’ on paperwork so someone may be listed. And you don’t know maybe there’s a will. They could possibly get a genealogist involved.
If no kin is found they may arrange a public health funeral.
I do know of a man who was a recluse and became very ill and was taken to a hospice where he died. They had no information on him so his house, which was in a revolting state (I saw it) was searched by people in hazmat suits - it really was that bad. They were able to finally trace a sister, who was disabled and had no contact with the man for years. It took some months.
You also leave a ‘paper’ trail, not least through tax records, though you don’t say what kind of relative this person is to you it seems it’s through your father, so they may make a connection there.
I was recently forwarded a letter through the HMRC about a policy I had in the 1980s in my maiden name. I have moved about eight times since then, been out of the country for a five year period, changed bank accounts and got married with subsequent name change. They still found me through my tax records.

I know ots a long way but if they’re not answering the phone could she go and visit and try and get the details for the distant relative? I’d also be tempted to take a notice in large print saying something along the lines of in case of emergency please contact *Wiltshiregirl’s DFriend at” avd leave a copy with the distant relative and a couple of copies in the farmhouse. Assuming that your DFriend would want to be contacted in an emergency and not just on death?

As a pp suggested contact social services and register concerns about vulnerable elderly adult.

"You could contact her local social services and register as next of kin. You could register your concern as the person sounds vulnerable."

From my experience working with social service when I was in the NHS, the first thing social services will ask is do you have permission from the person to speak to us and if the answer is no, then end of conversation and quite right too.

If he dies, how would we find out or be notified?

With my uncle the milkman (rare these days) noticed the milk has not be taken in, so called the police and they broke in. Somehow found details of relatives from documents , contacted another niece in the first instance.

In your relatives case guess the other relative would find out as and when they visited.

Might be worth suggesting a telephone based alarm button (worn round neck) in case they feel unwell or need help in case of a fall.

It's funny how the first answer always sets the tone, and most people now think that the OP (or her friend,) is only after the money!

Quite honestly though @Wiltshiregirl06 if your friend is not in any kind of contact with this relative, then he will be long gone/buried/cremated before she finds out. If she is not close to him, it's unlikely that she will be instantly notified of his death.

"Next of kin" isn't a legal category. If they want someone to have POA, they appoint them (though that means nothing as soon as they're dead). They will have named their executor(s) and beneficiaries in their will; whoever that is, a solicitor will contact them. For all you know they already have a bit of paper somewhere easy to find with their "who to contact in the event of my death" stuff on it.

Unfortunately this is the kind of case where a body can lie undiscovered for a while. But once someone finds it and reports it, every effort will be made to locate family members.

RTFT

Once you've been in a similar situation with elderly relatives you may understand a bit better. I think it may also relate to having been brought up in an environment where caring for people was more of a thing.

Incidentally, I'm of a generation where most of our elderly relatives (born pre WW2) never had any money other than the state pension and we subbed them out!

Unless thats the way you would act why is it your automatic assumption?

@Wiltshiregirl06 i just wanted to say Thank You for starting this thread.
It’s an issue I’ve been battling with my own parents (living abroad, no support network etc….) and Im an only child….

Unlike your situation, I’m in regular contact with them.
But it reminded me that I need a discussion with them re having my details on file somewhere in case they have an accident. And a card listing all contact details (me, my adult dcs, maybe mum’s niece).

EDIT TO ADD
The big issue is that they are each other contact number in case of emergency for all documents.
So if they were in an accident together, emergency services would be stuck in a loop.

It is very sad indeed.

She needs to make contact with the relative that is visiting and caring.

Convince them it's not about money grabbing and asking to be informed.

What is her interest in the uncle if she's 200 miles away, doesn't visit, doesn't speak? She she write to him? Share her news? Reach out in any way to say I'm here and thinking of you?

He sounds old. She must be a mature adult too. Why now?