Do I Need To End This?

Life is about more than holidays and weekends away.

You're always going to resent his lack of cash @didwejustbecomebestfriends so do him a favour and just let him go.

I don't think you're ever going to get past this smouldering resentment.

There are a few things in your update that concern me. This business sounds like it's been going a while. Yet he hasn't planned well enough to have money in his down time. Instead he gets another job. So essentially his business doesn't make enough to survive on. What does he plan on doing about that? Because it seems like his plan might be do get a partner who supports him. Hence he 'relentlessly persued' you for a year....

If that were the case you’d be happily waiting longer to see if he has more money for this stuff. But the reality is you are dating a younger man with young kids, who will come first financially for a long time. If you were so in love you wouldn’t be discussing ending this already. So it sounds like ending it is the right thing for both of you.

'My bestie is going on her third holiday with her boyfriend of 8 months and the green eyed monster has come out. But it is because I love him and want to do things with him. Not because Im not into him - the complete opposite.'

Its fine to want to enjoy life. Imagine if he was loaded but sex was crap, we'd all be saying money isn't everything.

Relationships have to tick all your boxes and this doesn't. Just move on it is absolutely ok to want to enjoy trips etc.

Have you actually talked to him about money? Or are you assuming that he can't do these things without having had a conversation? First step is to sit him down and talk about what your expectations are and whether his financial situation makes that difficult. Then you'll both know where you are

You lost me at bestie. Sorry OP.

But in time, sadly 💰 might undermine ❤

Going by your update: have you not read the numerous negative threads on dating? You're clearly not as into him as you say, if you're more concerned about the things you've described. He'd be better off going it alone. If you want somebody with a bit more cash, go and find him.

Why? What happens in those four months that he suddenly has hundreds of extra pounds? Even a cheap weekend quite locally with three meals a day at a pub or restaurant is going to be £500. That's £250 each which is a chunk of someone is on a tight budget. Even if he saved £50 a month he'd only just have that at 4 months.

Hmm, having 2 young kids to support does change the picture as he’s likely going to be broke for many years to come. If he has cash for a holiday he should be taking them. Their birthdays will always be, rightly, take priority.

I think I’d enjoy it for now, try and have a conversation about his plans for the future at some point and probably you’ll get sick of it and get the ick at some stage.

It has only been 4 months though, that’s still very early for a couple to be planning trips all over the place, especially when one has young kids and a business to work around.

Maybe you are at different life stages. Do you want the same things or are you expecting him to be your plus one in life?

It's only been 4 months and you're having doubts. It doesn't matter why, be it money or different values you aren't compatible with the stages you are at so I'd draw a line.

You've had a nice time, you've proven to yourself suitable men are out there so just get back to being single enjoying the lifestyle you want.

You could buy him a National Trust membership for Christmas and buy yourself a camper van! That would be a solution for several years.

After 4 months I think its reasonable to expect a partner to be able to go on holidays and weekends away

I suppose the question to ask is would he be thinking of ending things with you if things were the other way around? If he would then people would probably be saying he's shallow and you're better off single anyway. Maybe hold on to that thought while you decide.

Four months is likely limerance. Give it another 12 months you’ll know if it’s love and if his lacks of means is starting to irritate you beyond belief or if you’ve found ways to adjust your expectations and do the expensive things with friends instead.

Life involves some risk, doesn’t it? I cannot personally imagine passing up the chance of real love and companionship at a stage of my life when that is pretty rare to find, for the price of a lunch and a historical house entrance fee, or missed opportunity to go on a luxury holiday. You could have real happiness for the rest of your life - the times when you need help and support, the times when you unwell, or when you’re old and just want to do a crossword and watch TV. You could have all that, and you could provide that to a man you love. What a gift OP!

People pay for expensive experiences to fill in the gaps in their lives. You can still do those things alone or with friends. You don’t have to marry or move in with this man, to share finances.

Just enjoy each other and see where it goes.

So is he just pretending he will have the money? Or are you assuming he won’t?

You definitely shouldn't fund everything. 50/50 for sure

If you're in too deep to end it after 4 months, well.....I'm not sure what to say tbh. It doesn't seem healthy imo

He tells you he's broke. Is he? Have you seen his bank account, business accounts? Or are you just believing him?

If he's telling the truth , what does his business need to make more money? Can you help? Why can't HE make his business work well?

Yanno?