Husband unhappy with my friendship with a man

Why are you asking now, 6 months too late? You made your choice.

This, 100%!

She who values friend more than husband’s feelings, request and their marriage deserves everything coming to her.

Yes I’m thinking of the current thread where the op’s husband is spending a lot of time with a ‘friend’ and refuses to at least compromise. Everyone is saying divorce.

Why did you put your friend first?

Haha christ you want it all dont you?! There is a similar thread at the moment about a man spending too much time with his woman friend. Read the responses... the same applies too you. You didnt give a toss about your husbands feelings and now want him to support all of you AND his step child? Wake up!

So you picked your friend over your husband (and family).
You don't think you should have to work full time.
You expect childcare and financial contributions from your ex husband towards someone else's child.

To be honest you've messed up big time and is be doing what I could to try and save my marriage. Although it seems like he's already opened his eyes.

Sounds like you fucked around and now you're finding out.

I think he’s just fed up of paying for you to hang out with friends all day. You do sound quite entitled and that the fact he doesn’t want to continue to pay for a child that isn’t his is a surprise to you?? Tbh you need a job, your ex isn’t going to fund your life anymore!

Did you not consider at any point over the last 6 months that the gravy train might eventually reach the terminus?

My husband asked me to stop spending so much time together, I refused and 6 months ago he left

• I am amazed you didn't prioritise your life partner and father of your children.

• And I am more amazed you decided to blow up your marriage over this when you are financially dependent.

• I am utterly flabbergasted you expect him to financially support his step child who has a father who should be supporting him financially.

He was within his rights to leave and its totally fair he doesnt want to subsidise you from here to kingdom come.
Get a lawyer get a court ordered financial settlement and court ordered visitation

Hope your friendship is so amazing it was worth spending your childrens lives and ending your marriage 🤷🏻‍♀️

Tldr: play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

He has no responsibility for his step child at all. Give your head a wobble.

Was it actually about the friend or was your DH perhaps fed up of financing you being able to work part time but spending large chunks of your free time “socialising” when you perhaps could have worked a bit more?

I work 4 days and spend most of my 1 day off with friends…… mix of male/female. DH has no issue but then I’m also the higher earner……

Welcome to the reality of life. Whilst with your husband, you could make a joint decision as a household as to who would work what

You are you now single and your household unit is you and your 3 children. You need to financially support your household unit. He has a household unit of him and his 2 children, you and your child from a previous relationship are not part of it. He doesn’t need to spend time with that child who he has no responsibility for and it’s good of him to still contribute to the school fees

Time to divorce, sell the house, divide the assets then either get a job or get one with more hours. You’ve had 6 months to get the ball rolling therefore I think they’ve been quite patient if they’re still funding your life until now

If you were just friends, then being friends is not unreasonable.

Equally he can end the marriage for whatever good reason he has, in this case your friendship made him uncomfortable. Expecting you to support yourself and your own child isn't unreasonable either obviously, with appropriate child maintenance form your joint children.

Whether you should have made a different decision or not I couldn't say. I wouldn't have made the same decision you did, but that's ok.

So, you expect your H to be happy to go to work to keep you and your child and your child in school fees, while you are unemployed and you and your unemployed male friend hang out all day? Even though you're no longer together? This is just the sort of scenario you'd think was set up by someone trying to make women look bad, and hoping people would defend you so they could screech about 'double standards on MN'.

Hard to tell without more context . I was your h in this situation and many people may have just believed I was jealous of his female ‘best friend’ but I doubt many people would have been happy . 100+ messages a day , phones calls at all and every hour, cancelling plans with me for her, seeing her behind my back , cutesy pet names for each other , ‘had’ to see her at least twice a week every week , her leaving her house to him and putting a clause in her will to say if he married the spouse is not to benefit, clicking her fingers and he’d go running, me not being allowed to meet her in 2 years , him moving house to be closer to her… I could go on but you see what I mean.

I think if this exact situation was written by a man about their female friend, everyone would say fair enough that the wife left. He asked you to stop and you knew he was uncomfortable with it. Your marriage was otherwise happy. You did it anyway.
How much time are we talking?

Op, the level of friendship you had with this other man was making your DH uncomfortable and he expressed that to you. You decided to ignore that and do your own thing, which you're well within your rights to do, but your now ex-DH has decided that's not good enough, which he's also entitled to do.

It's a very sad situation but it sounds like you prioritised this friendship over your marriage and the consequences are that your husband left.

I can understand why he no longer wants to fully support you if he's no longer there; presumably he has his own bills now and shouldn't be paying yours too. Suggesting you get a job is reasonable. He also shouldn't be worrying about child from previous relationship - that's down to you and their dad to sort, surely?

It's going to be a big change and wish you all the best, OP.

So he didn't ask you to end the friendship. He asked you to spend less time " together" with your friend. And your friendship was more important to you than the man you made vows to. I don't blame your H for leaving .
You made your choice so now you have to build your life around that.

92% think you're being unreasonable.

I'm hoping we find out and this isn't another post where the OP just dodges the same question everyone is asking! 😂

The friendship issue aside, why on earth would he continue to support you and your child when you’re no longer living together?

I’m also curious about how much time you’re spending with this bloke.

Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it. Have a look at some of the threads where men have a special friend they spend too much time with and see how different the responses are. They are usually accused of having affairs on here.

It sounds like to want to have your cake and eat it.