Would you take your ex in, if the only other option was being homeless

No.

If she has been offered a HMO then all she has to do is accept it. Who offered it to her? The council or a private landlord?
What council housing application are you having to fill in for her?
How are you going to be strict with her to ‘make her’ change her life around?

No. I wouldn’t. But like you, I would probably question myself and wonder if it was the right or wrong choice. You won’t get rid of him easily. You will have a non contributing adult to manage on top of everything else. No.

If you are concerned about her safety in a HMO do things that enhance her safety rather than risking the negative impact of her staying at yours.
Also if you take her in she will be deemed as housed by the council and will close her case.
If you are able, buy her something like this to help her feel safe in the HMO

www.amazon.co.uk/Jammers-Obstruction-Security-Personal-Protection/dp/B0DNH7V4GX/ref=sr_1_6?crid=2TCSXO6AD7W0E&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.jKz-96MqbMApbqIT0PUgo1bQfrXDMiyQftBDQU9rlg9OCTZAlIrZfQHbLExND2rVZvQUQoXwHJa_c4p9tZRv1TOfkFDZ_LOpTdo5GN34DlfOqsqDHWXdjfb13EKKMmQ7QdsmY_XGEE_Yd3pb_ovWL-bdByIsTtpFrv2jOouyuOyIJpidtUTaeYVVEev4vmP8pUtl-9N7Ck2309rlR150BaCJIwqR27oVvLM-ZE7hvM6xiUGWX9NGVeyt-rrJs1zQQfZ_5FTBUdDMNssFkTV9ubi7PvSHJjWTLLasGCVk93A.C7fAZL0dqC3Qla1uKBKlMwqKx4cCfY0lyM7oIZ3JWUE&dib_tag=se&keywords=safety+lock+hotel&qid=1755341447&sprefix=Safety+lock+hote%2Caps%2C112&sr=8-6

Nope. I would not help them out.

No. He is an ex for a reason.

If he is the father of your children and 100% a good father, who had been good to you and kind during the divorce etc then I’d probably facilitate something but not necessarily in my actual home.

Hell no!!!!! They probably would be less grateful and more entitled. The nastiness would soon reveal itself and all that you would have succeeded in doing, is re inviting disruption and turmoil back into your life. They nor the council will see their rehousing as a priority if you let them stay.

You need to let go of the person you want them to be and accept them for who they are.

People don’t just end up homeless. Something happens… often it can be no fault but in this case does not sound like she was or is a responsible adult or that the temporary situation will be short term. You’re making it your problem and need to ask why. Someone leaving hits hard but objectively there’s no reason for you to agree and opening can of worms springs to mind.

Absolutely not!

No way would offer if i had been treated badly and tbh, i’d take great satisfaction in doing so, , and now i’ve read that your children's behaviour has improved massively, don’t jeopardise that, put their needs first.

Hahahahhaha no way. If it was my ex I would probably laugh in his face because he deserves to suffer.

No. When you end a relationship, you also abdicate responsibility for helping the ex out of their messes. I get it isn't nice for children to see dad homeless, but also they learn actions have consequences, and when you treat someone like shit they don't later save you from yourself.

OP, you need to stay out of her housing situation completely.
She is trying to make it your problem to solve.

If she turns down the HMO without a good reason (and there are very few of those when you are essentially homeless, not liking it is not enough), the council will no longer have an obligation to house her.

They can remove her from their list.

She may then come back to you, telling you she did it because of you and didn't realise what would happen.

That will be a lie, the council do make it clear if you turn down their offer of accommodation, they don't have to find more.

I’m afraid it was a big mistake to tell her that you thought the accommodation she was offered is unsafe.

Juat to add. I've known someone who was in a similar situation. They got the sad story from their ex, how they want to change they need a chance. They wanted therapy and they wanted to do the work. The story was so sad and sweet, and in the end the biggest mutilation. There ex had actually changed so much in the time apart, it because a horribly abusive situation for them, and their kid. Don't feel sad for their sad stories, there are shelters and places and resources out there for them to get help. If they want that she will get back onto hwr feed on her own. Don't risk the home, for your children's sake. They have to come first, even if nothing abusive happens, everything all their stability you have given your kids now will unravel. I think its so hard, when you have a big heart want to help, feel empathy for someone you once had such a life and commitment with. Its hard to say no, its so hard to go agenst any stigmas that a man must help a woman, or any upbringing that maybe you have that is also making you feel you have to help. Let her hit her rock bottom let her make her changes, there places she will get help from, if she doesnt want them. If they dont suit her, that right there is your first biggest red flag. People who truly need help, want to change etc will take anything from whats available out there and work hard themselves to get it right. Your priority and duty is to your children, keep them safe out of the drama. And dont let the devil in the door.

Realistically if she moves back in with you the council will see it that she is sufficiently housed and not offer any support.
If your childrens behaviour and school reports have massively improved since she left, and she was so hideous during the divorce I have no idea why you’d risk it.
If she’s been offered a HMO she should should take it, each door will have locks on. If she doesn’t want to take it and you can afford and want to help her out then pay a deposit and few months rent on a private house share, she will then have to get a job to support herself and you are not seeing the mother of your children homeless.
I would offer the same to a friend if I could afford to, who had found themselves in difficulty.
If you can’t afford to help out with a house share deposit separate to you, you’d be bonkers to allow her back in your house to disrupt your lives.

NO WAY

No. Its a bad idea. You have to protect yourself and your peace.

Has she even seen the HMO before declining it? I don't think there will just be men living there. There will be women as well in the same situation as her.

Sorry, just seen you're male & ex is female. My opinion is the same - if she is the mother of the kids I think it's the right thing to do. If not, then absolutely no.

No way you would never see the back of them. Nothing like a bit of karma tough shit.

If he was the father of my kids then yes. Not for him but for my kids.

Though if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids

Oh well that’s alright then*

*sarcasm

Absolutely not. It’s not the right thing for your kids and you know it. Don’t risk jeopardising the progress they’ve made. Your ex is an adult and responsible for herself. I honestly don’t think you should be helping from a distance, just focus on you and the kids and let her sort out her own mess

Also, don’t be fooled into thinking it would be temporary. If you let her in it she won’t move out voluntarily. The council will stop being responsible for putting a roof over her head once you do it. You’ll end up having to kick her out, which would probably be more harmful than if you hadn’t let her stay in the first place.

Not in the context you've described.