Would you take your ex in, if the only other option was being homeless

NO

Absolutely not.

You can't take her in, it would be a disaster and from the sounds of it detrimental for the children. You could, if you are feeling kind, offer to keep some of her belongings safe for her, if she had concerns about them in an HMO.

I understand it must be hard to see someone, you obviously once cared about a lot, in such a difficult situation. Ultimately it is not your responsibility though.

How come so many are still getting the basic facts wrong, even though it's been pointed out by numerous MNers.

OP - Male
EX - Female

Nope, nope,noppity nope!

Sorry if this has already been said, I haven’t read every single post, just all the OPs and some others.
Streets or car will not be the only option. If she has no other options (she can’t tell them she has an option of staying with you) once she is actually homeless, so the day she is evicted from her current place, she needs to go to the council offices and tell them. They will try and suggest any other option of family etc, but once she tells them that isn’t an option, once they close for the day they will then put her up in a B&B. They have to, it is law. They will try everything first though not to, so most likely she will have to wait there until they are closing up for the day

I would only let him in the house would be for visits with the kids. So I knew he was with them somewhere warm and clean if whether prevented him taking them to the park or something outdoors

Nasty? Liar? You dont want him sharing your home again. You'll have all the draw backs of being his wife with less perks

Still nope. You'll never get rid of her if you do. Let her sort herself out.

Seriously!? 😳

Sorry I put YANBU but in a word. No. He showed his colours. Had the marriage broken down and he been civilised (even for the kids) i
might take pity but nope.

No! He's been nasty and told lies about you? No! No! There's a reason no one else wants him around, and neither should you.

My ex's? Yes. They're both really incredible people and we still speak regularly even now years later.

Your ex? No they sound horrible.

No. I don’t want to live with someone who cheated on me, gave me two STDs, was violent and emotionally/financially abusive. I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.

I feel really sorry for you. I have a partner that I think is abusive and every time I have tried to break up with him he pulls this crap and it’s awful! You can’t help being a kind person and they take advantage all the time.

If I had managed to get rid a 1st time (dream) I would never ever let them stay, I imagine he will refuse to leave and will get too comfortable. If he’s a narcissist then he’ll start telling you everything you want to hear and reel you back in.

When I think about me having nothing as in zero house, zero savings etc. I think as long as I had no responsibilities (kids to house) then I would get the cheapest room in a shared house, work full time and overtime if possible and work my way out of the bad situation, of course it’s hard these days but it’s not impossible. I bet your ex (like my OH) has themselves to blame for having nowhere to. For example, mine has lots of debt but has not had to pay half of any rent or mortgage for 10+ years due to me owning the house so has no excuse for being in as much debt as he is or for having no savings other than his own greed. Please, please don’t let him in.

Erm, Lemme think about it for a moment.... NO.

Don’t have kids but would be an absolute no from me , I wouldn’t spit on him if he was on fire though , might be different if I liked them as a person

My children's behaviour have improved massively since she left, a few school reports have commented that they can't believe the difference they have seen

That's the beginning and the end of the debate right there. Whatever chaos she brought to their lives don't bring it back.

No. And nor would our kids. Not ever under any circumstances. He lost his paternal rights thank fuck, and if he dies homeless it’ll be a blessing.

Fuck no

It's very noble to want to save a person , but the reality is that you can't. She made bad decisions has she? And there apparently is nobody else to help her , wel , I'd question why there are no parents , siblings , friends etc that can help her. Is it because she's burned those bridges with her behaviour possibly?

Ultimately you will do whatever it is you will do , but to think that you can make her do anything given the history of your relationship is delusional.

It would be very confusing for your children to have her back. It would be nice of you to help her but even that is not an obligation. It is not your job to fix this mess.

Nope - he shouldn't or she shouldn't have been an asshole about things. THe only exception for me would be if there was a sep annex and they were paying full market rent etc. And it was all on a formal footing even then I would be wary of being manipulated etc

My ex is actually homeless, sleeping on the street, due to drug addiction . I did consider helping him because for some reason, I felt guilty. But then i realised he wasn't my responsibility. He is in this position because of the choices he made, and if his own mother, brothers, and sisters won't take him in, then why should I feel guilty. Plus, it would massively affect the children having him here.

Do not let her stay, not even for one night. It's not fair on the children, and it's really not your responsibility.

Another 'no' from me. I am very glad you are declining this, it is very revealing that she would even ask you to take her in (rather than ask for other help). Taking her in would have disaster written all over it. It would threaten your children's peaceful life and home and the progress they have made, they are the priority here.