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Original poster

Would you take your ex in, if the only other option was being homeless

383 replies

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:31

If you have an ex that left you but they then fell on hard times and literally the only option was to sleep at yours or they sleep in their car (realistically this would be reasonably long term)

Would you let them sleep at yours until they are back on their feet

(The council were contacted and no realistic opinions were provided)

The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce

Though if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids

OP posts:
Enrichetta · 15/08/2025 23:45

no way.

Please, get yourself some self help books about people pleasing and boundaries.

Nextdoormat · 15/08/2025 23:44

The saying about what you wouldn't do if they were on fire, covers it for me!

Valkyrie3 · 15/08/2025 23:44

No fucking way.

eone · 15/08/2025 23:43

Absolutely not. He's made his bed.
If he was ok and agreeable during the divorce (depending of course what the reason for divorce was) I would consider it, but if he was a nasty prick, no way I would be helping him.
Don't let him use you. He will be nice because it suits him now, but will be back to his old ways before you know and I suspect it will be a struggle to move him out. Manipulative CF. Don't fall for it

sesquipedalian · 15/08/2025 23:42

“The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce”

OP, I can understand that you are thinking, well, he’s the father if my children and they don’t want to see their DF on the streets. BUT, just re-read what you’ve written abive, and tell me how it would be different? He’d move in “temporarily”, and it wouldn’t be long before he was nasty to you, and arguing with your family again. There is a reason why he’s your ex. Doesn’t he have any friends or family of his own he can appeal to? Of course he will turn in the charm and try emotional blackmail, but I’m sorry to say that if you weaken, it really won’t end well.

minerva7 · 15/08/2025 23:42

God no!

NuffSaidSam · 15/08/2025 23:40

No of course not.

The homelessness epidemic is terrible, but my house is not a shelter.

I would maybe give them some cash to stay in a shelter the night before contact each week so they could look presentable for the kids.

Whyx · 15/08/2025 23:40

I've read that damn Julia Donaldson book too many times for it not to pop into my head when I read your title.

Try taking in your hen, goat, pig and cow first and then you'll realise how much you enjoy your own space!

teenmaw · 15/08/2025 23:39

Absolutely not op!!!

notatinydancer · 15/08/2025 23:39

Nope 👎

Wynter25 · 15/08/2025 23:39

Hell no

Painrelief · 15/08/2025 23:38

I’m usually the biggest pushover when it comes to feeling sorry for people and giving them a chance and even I would say no to this .
I think he could possibly turn nasty again when he can’t get his own way or if you want him to leave coz it doesn’t sound like he’s going to be there short term so you may find you want rid of him quicker than you expected .

don’t get involved ! Not your circus not your monkeys !

outerspacepotato · 15/08/2025 23:38

No.

ChaToilLeam · 15/08/2025 23:38

Not a man like that. I have other exes on good terms and I would help them, but not anybody who was an arse.

DancingInTheBroadDaylight · 15/08/2025 23:38

No

PractisingMyTelekenipsis · 15/08/2025 23:38

Id show him the same love and care he's shown our DC for the last 15 years.
So no. He'd be living in his car. I might give him a slice of bread and butter for lunch if I was feeling nice.

CanOfMangoTango · 15/08/2025 23:37

RedRec · 15/08/2025 23:33

Not sure which way round the poll is but my answer is a massive, emphatic NO.

This.

He is reaping what he sowed. He left and was horrible to you during the divorce.

Why would you give him help now?

ThinWomansBrain · 15/08/2025 23:37

if it had been an amicable split maybe
but he has demonstrated himself to be abusive and has no respect for you - why would you even consider it?

JLou08 · 15/08/2025 23:36

No. You'd struggle to get rid of him and he doesn't sound like he deserves your help.
If these kids he is good with are shared ot would be confusing for them too.

Meadowfinch · 15/08/2025 23:36

No. Having built a happy secure home for my child, I'd not allow that to be damaged.

Lemonsugarpancake · 15/08/2025 23:36

No, definitely not.

PiggieWig · 15/08/2025 23:36

No. I don’t have great boundaries and tend to try and ‘be kind’ at my own expense if I don’t check myself but when you say he was nasty, that’s where the story ends for me.
You can be kind and help him seek support elsewhere if you really need to, but ultimately, it’s his to sort.

Floranan · 15/08/2025 23:36

No

no

no

youve got rid of him once, why would you do that to yourself and the children.

also it doesn’t have an end in site could be weeks during which he will return to his old ways, but even if it was just a night

no

FlatErica · 15/08/2025 23:35

No.

researchers3 · 15/08/2025 23:35

Not a chance.

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