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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you take your ex in, if the only other option was being homeless

383 replies

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:31

If you have an ex that left you but they then fell on hard times and literally the only option was to sleep at yours or they sleep in their car (realistically this would be reasonably long term)

Would you let them sleep at yours until they are back on their feet

(The council were contacted and no realistic opinions were provided)

The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce

Though if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids

OP posts:
Tablesandchairs23 · 16/08/2025 00:22

GreenFlag · 15/08/2025 23:54

Father of your kids? Yes I would.

Even though he's abusive.

Mistyglade · 16/08/2025 00:20

No way pal, which way round is your aibu?

Nicecuppatea2025 · 16/08/2025 00:18

No absolutely not. Not in a million years. No no no.

If you let her stay, that’s it. She’s in.

Where’s your head at on this OP?

owlyboo · 16/08/2025 00:10

No

Whyx · 16/08/2025 00:09

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:57

Okay

What if I'm male and the ex is female?

(I was in two minds if I should point this out at the start)

Edited

I think if the car sleeper is female there may be an extra safety aspect to consider. Would probably make me more likely to help find an alternative but I still wouldn't take them in.

Blibbleflibble · 16/08/2025 00:06

OP in your original post did you say" if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids"

You mean if you let her stay you are not allowed to ask her to tidy or help around the house, and in doing so she won't be abusive (quiet) and she enjoys spending time with the kids?

Is she the mother of your kids?

If she is abusive, do not let her back into your home! My advice is the same regardless of gender!

Icecreamhelps · 15/08/2025 23:59

No, I still have nightmares he's moved back in why would I make it a reality.

Velmy · 15/08/2025 23:58

He's got a car to sleep in, which is more than most homeless people.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 15/08/2025 23:58

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:57

Okay

What if I'm male and the ex is female?

(I was in two minds if I should point this out at the start)

Edited

No difference. She had the choice to behave decently but chose not to.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 15/08/2025 23:57

I absolutely would.

Unfortunately, though, you added this…

The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce

…which turns it to a no.

AliceMaforethought · 15/08/2025 23:57

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:57

Okay

What if I'm male and the ex is female?

(I was in two minds if I should point this out at the start)

Edited

Doesn't make a difference in my view.

AliceMaforethought · 15/08/2025 23:57

No. No need to turn the other cheek. Take the win.

Original poster
Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:57

Okay

What if I'm male and the ex is female?

(I was in two minds if I should point this out at the start)

OP posts:
Ellie56 · 15/08/2025 23:56

Nope.

Don't fall for his hard done by shit. He can sleep in his fucking car.

Blibbleflibble · 15/08/2025 23:56

Fuck no.

Peacepleaselouise · 15/08/2025 23:54

No, because they sound like they were at least verbally abusive in the past. If it was amicable then absolutely.

GreenFlag · 15/08/2025 23:54

Father of your kids? Yes I would.

CheeseWisely · 15/08/2025 23:54

I saw my ex today for the first time in years. I wouldn’t have pissed on him if he’d caught fire in front of me, so no.

SpringSpruce · 15/08/2025 23:53

If he was the DCs dad, and a good dad then yes.
If he would be likely to cause arguments, stress, or the DC aren't close with him because of behaviour then no.
If he's a genuinely good dad I would put up with the annoyance as it's someone the DC love. I would however put a time limit on it of eg 6 months (or 2 months to find a job then 6 months to save up) and a rule that any arguments or stress would mean he'd need to leave.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 15/08/2025 23:52

Valkyrie3 · 15/08/2025 23:44

No fucking way.

^^ this

commentsuncomfortable · 15/08/2025 23:50

No

Isittimeformynapyet · 15/08/2025 23:50

caringcarer · 15/08/2025 23:35

Absolutely not. He should have thought about that before he cheated.

He cheated? OP didn't mention cheating.

YetanotherNC25 · 15/08/2025 23:49

It’s a hard no in these circumstances.
I would consider taking my ex I have children to in, but not the others. But he wasn’t the cockwomble you describe. And it would be for the kids not him.

ChewbaccasMrs · 15/08/2025 23:46

NO never and I think if he ever turned up here my very lovely DH would rip him a new one.

fireworksinaugust · 15/08/2025 23:46

No