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Original poster

Would you take your ex in, if the only other option was being homeless

383 replies

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:31

If you have an ex that left you but they then fell on hard times and literally the only option was to sleep at yours or they sleep in their car (realistically this would be reasonably long term)

Would you let them sleep at yours until they are back on their feet

(The council were contacted and no realistic opinions were provided)

The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce

Though if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids

OP posts:
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MissRaspberry · 20/08/2025 11:54

Absolutely not he'd probably get too comfortable and never leave. He doesn't deserve your help. He's an ex for a reason

Braygirlnow · 19/08/2025 08:27

LeftieRightsHoarder · 16/08/2025 09:24

What???? He may behave decently as long as he’s allowed to live off you and treat you as his servant????

What a prince.

Of course you should jump at this chance to relive all the misery of your marriage, OP, and remind your children that women exist to serve men.

Grrrrr

The ex who wants back in house is female...keep up!

Atina321 · 19/08/2025 08:05

Do not let this person back into your life.

If they’ve alienated everyone else and you are their only option why is that?

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 17/08/2025 17:24

butterpuffed · 16/08/2025 21:43

How come so many are still getting the basic facts wrong, even though it's been pointed out by numerous MNers.

OP - Male
EX - Female

Show quote history

Doesn't matter in cases like this. The answer would be the same.

Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 17/08/2025 17:22

Why are you even getting involved? Absolutely wrong of you to give an opinion about the HMO. You get she'd have a look on her door?

I wouldn't even stop to spit on my nasty abusive ex.

Manthide · 17/08/2025 15:33

No, wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire! Don't give him a way in!

BuildbyNumbere · 17/08/2025 13:49

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/08/2025 12:28

The ex is a she, not he.

Show quote history

Makes no difference.

Arlanymor · 17/08/2025 12:31

You divorced her - not your circus, not your monkeys. It's for her to sort out.

FreezeDriedStrawberries · 17/08/2025 12:28

BuildbyNumbere · 17/08/2025 11:54

No chance. Nasty to you during and since the divorce … now needs help!!?!
Probably never get rid of him either.

The ex is a she, not he.

TakeMe2Insanity · 17/08/2025 12:13

butterpuffed · 16/08/2025 21:43

How come so many are still getting the basic facts wrong, even though it's been pointed out by numerous MNers.

OP - Male
EX - Female

Show quote history

Well we can’t all be rude!

My answer stays the same if vice versa.

BuildbyNumbere · 17/08/2025 11:54

No chance. Nasty to you during and since the divorce … now needs help!!?!
Probably never get rid of him either.

Thelaundryfairyhasbeenassassinated · 17/08/2025 10:22

She is not your responsibility. You are divorced. Focus on yourself and your children. She is a adult and has made her life choices.

Redburnett · 17/08/2025 10:18

No. The behaviours that led to them being an ex are unlikely to have gone away. The situation may or may not be of their own making but it is not your problem now.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 17/08/2025 10:16

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:57

Okay

What if I'm male and the ex is female?

(I was in two minds if I should point this out at the start)

Edited

Female is a bit more at risk of rape etc in her car, that’s the main difference.
do the kids live with you?

Doone22 · 17/08/2025 10:00

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:57

Okay

What if I'm male and the ex is female?

(I was in two minds if I should point this out at the start)

Edited

Makes no difference except I would have used different pronouns on my answer

Doone22 · 17/08/2025 09:57

Tbh people can be horrible lots of times if stressed or guilty and it's more important if he's horrible to the kids or horrible now to you.
If you are a kind person don't stop being yourself just cos everyone says no way. You do you, but with appropriate thoughts and protection in place.
For example don't let him move in. Allow him to have a shower, shave and laundry and a decent cooked meal once or twice a week.
Get him to look for live in positions (hospitality and house sitting), give him a reference if needed, help him but don't put your life back on hold.
Let me repeat Do Not Let Him Move In

Doone22 · 17/08/2025 09:51

caringcarer · 15/08/2025 23:35

Absolutely not. He should have thought about that before he cheated.

She never said he cheated

Gettingbysomehow · 17/08/2025 09:45

People have to learn there are consequences for their actions. My ex DP dumped me after 20 years for a new woman and lifestyle. 6 months later none of this worked out and he was desperate to come home to my very comfortable house and lifestyle when he found himself jobless and living in a grotty bedsit.
I said no, he had turned my life upside down and caused huge heartbreak. I was not about to take him back under any circumstances. He's still hanging around trying to come back 5 years later but Im having none of it. My life is much calmer and less stressful now.
You don't owe her anything. She knew what she was doing.

Bakerygirl · 17/08/2025 09:20

This happened to me. My ex walked out. Left me homeless, turned really nasty. Took my kids and tried to turn them against me spouting all sorts of lies etc. I DID sleep in my car for a few weeks, Would I help him out now. Hell would need to freeze over first!! Karma can be a bitch 😀

cantbejustme · 17/08/2025 09:09

Absolutely not. The fact that he has no one else to stay with is telling.

The council has given ‘no realistic options’ as in they’ve offered something, a bed sit further away? Not your problem.

Genevieva · 17/08/2025 08:27

Isittimeformynapyet · 16/08/2025 09:12

I love that you've given "examples" of days of the week 😄

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Ah well. I just wanted to illustrate that it doesn’t have to involve having an ex living in your house every weekend. That would be bloody awful.

Pherian · 17/08/2025 00:17

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 15/08/2025 23:31

If you have an ex that left you but they then fell on hard times and literally the only option was to sleep at yours or they sleep in their car (realistically this would be reasonably long term)

Would you let them sleep at yours until they are back on their feet

(The council were contacted and no realistic opinions were provided)

The ex was really nasty during the divorce, saying lies all over social media, argued with all of your family and has also been quite nasty since the divorce

Though if nothing is expected of them (such as helping to tidy up), will be quite and enjoys spending time with the kids

Not just NO… but Fuck No.

emmetgirl · 16/08/2025 22:25

No.

Ohnobackagain · 16/08/2025 22:13

You said your kids are better behaved without her - I was going to suggest you say ‘no’ and now you’ve said that. i’d definitely say no. She’s not your responsibity @Donotpanicoknowpanic

BCBird · 16/08/2025 22:03

ThinWomansBrain · 15/08/2025 23:37

if it had been an amicable split maybe
but he has demonstrated himself to be abusive and has no respect for you - why would you even consider it?

My sentiments exactly