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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you think this is racist?

113 replies

Helpmechooseausername · 15/08/2025 21:34

I was on holiday and had developed quite a good tan (I'm white). I said to someone "if I stayed here for another few weeks I'd be the colour of chocolate" and they said I was being racist. They said that I was saying that someone who is black (I hope that is an acceptable term) is the colour of chocolate and that is offensive.

It's totally stumped me! I was referring to myself, not anyone else, regardless of their colour. I genuinely think I'm not offensive to anyone - I certainly don't try to be - but it makes me feel like this is a very narrow tightrope I'm on!

AIBU to think that what I said was ok, or do I need to rethink this?

Thanks!

OP posts:
Theresealindseyillbetyou · 16/08/2025 00:39

Why are there so many is this racist.
My toddlers racist.
And whole lot more with the same running theme.🥱

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/08/2025 00:38

JH0404 · 15/08/2025 21:45

In my opinion no….. but just doesn’t sit right

This. The “colour of chocolate” is not something many people would say when describing skin tone,

Have you posted on MN before, I wonder?

Velmy · 16/08/2025 00:38

My friend once woke up to her husband starring at her with a quizzical look on his face.

She'd been sleep talking "Mmmm, chocolate man".

I'm sure she was just thinking of the guy from the Milk Tray advert 😬

SquishedMallow · 16/08/2025 00:34

SprayWhiteDung · 15/08/2025 22:51

True; but milk chocolate is always seen as the default. Dark chocolate is universally referred to as dark chocolate; white chocolate is universally referred to as white chocolate; milk chocolate is universally referred to just as chocolate.

Same with coffee - which is also commonly used as a reference to some people's skin-colour: the default is white coffee/coffee with milk - people will either ask for coffee or for black coffee.

You need to unplug yourself. It appears you're nose is stuck in your navel.

Do you have any hobbies or things to keep you busy during a day ?

Dangermoo · 16/08/2025 00:33

SquishedMallow · 16/08/2025 00:30

Right ? It has to be a level playing field ! It's usually white women in fairness shouting the gammon shit. To virtue signal.

Oh too right! There was a similar thread, earlier and the usual names came flocking. The OP withdrew the post but you could see where it was going.

Wistfullysleepy · 16/08/2025 00:33

Caramac definitely isn’t a racist colour

SquishedMallow · 16/08/2025 00:30

Dangermoo · 15/08/2025 22:18

So do I. Yet, apparently gammon isn't racist. So if it's racist to say black skin equals chocolate, why isn't it racist to say white skin equals gammon. The goal posts move for those who look for racism when it's not present - this is a classic case.

Right ? It has to be a level playing field ! It's usually white women in fairness shouting the gammon shit. To virtue signal.

SquishedMallow · 16/08/2025 00:29

Helpmechooseausername · 15/08/2025 21:34

I was on holiday and had developed quite a good tan (I'm white). I said to someone "if I stayed here for another few weeks I'd be the colour of chocolate" and they said I was being racist. They said that I was saying that someone who is black (I hope that is an acceptable term) is the colour of chocolate and that is offensive.

It's totally stumped me! I was referring to myself, not anyone else, regardless of their colour. I genuinely think I'm not offensive to anyone - I certainly don't try to be - but it makes me feel like this is a very narrow tightrope I'm on!

AIBU to think that what I said was ok, or do I need to rethink this?

Thanks!

In a word: no

Dontlletmedownbruce · 16/08/2025 00:27

IME teenagers can interpret everything as racist, and ironically in doing so can be racist themselves or stupidly stereotypical. Like your DD making the connection with what you said and a black person. When my DS was younger he said someone was racist for literally describing someone as being dark skinned in a particular context that warranted a description. He wouldn't do that now, but they just don't really get it when they are younger.

Dangermoo · 16/08/2025 00:21

EllyRoff · 15/08/2025 22:40

Just call them a daft cunt and move on ☺️

Best response to a daft scenario 😆 🤣 😂

JMSA · 16/08/2025 00:17

JH0404 · 15/08/2025 21:45

In my opinion no….. but just doesn’t sit right

Same.

BengalBangle · 16/08/2025 00:00

I don't think it's racist, but it's a strange thing to say. 🤷🏼‍♀️

TempestTost · 15/08/2025 23:56

HoskinsChoice · 15/08/2025 23:27

They're being ridiculous. Racism is real and it ruins people's lives. Kids going around shouting racism for no reason makes a mockery of actual discrimination.

Kids are learning some stupid shit in school, I think that's what's really going on with this.

VaseofViolets · 15/08/2025 23:30

Haha no, it’s not racist. It’s just an observation. I’m a person of colour (hate the phrase though) and I’d find it amusing if you’d said it to me 😁

HoskinsChoice · 15/08/2025 23:27

Helpmechooseausername · 15/08/2025 21:56

Thanks. It wouldn't have even occurred to me that I was being racist, but it's made me question myself.

The person who said I was racist (my DD - but her siblings agreed with her!) is a teenager and said that if someone had said that at school it would be massively frowned on. Maybe it's a generational thing?

They're being ridiculous. Racism is real and it ruins people's lives. Kids going around shouting racism for no reason makes a mockery of actual discrimination.

Dangermoo · 15/08/2025 23:04

SprayWhiteDung · 15/08/2025 22:51

True; but milk chocolate is always seen as the default. Dark chocolate is universally referred to as dark chocolate; white chocolate is universally referred to as white chocolate; milk chocolate is universally referred to just as chocolate.

Same with coffee - which is also commonly used as a reference to some people's skin-colour: the default is white coffee/coffee with milk - people will either ask for coffee or for black coffee.

Seriously.

XenoBitch · 15/08/2025 22:52

When I was in secondary school, someone told me I was too pale. I said "Yes, I am not exactly purple am I"... and I was told that was racist.
I still can't get my head around that one.

SprayWhiteDung · 15/08/2025 22:51

Dangermoo · 15/08/2025 22:11

You will get plenty on here telling you it was racist. Chocolate is brown or white - fact.

True; but milk chocolate is always seen as the default. Dark chocolate is universally referred to as dark chocolate; white chocolate is universally referred to as white chocolate; milk chocolate is universally referred to just as chocolate.

Same with coffee - which is also commonly used as a reference to some people's skin-colour: the default is white coffee/coffee with milk - people will either ask for coffee or for black coffee.

the5thgoldengirl · 15/08/2025 22:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

sploshsplash · 15/08/2025 22:44

I suppose it depends if you were saying it with a positive or negative tone?

fthisfthatfeverything · 15/08/2025 22:41

She’s associating tan people with black people and she needs to not do that

Jamesblonde2 · 15/08/2025 22:41

No not racist. They sound like a tedious knob.

Zoono · 15/08/2025 22:41

Your comparison to chocolate is a bit weird but I don't think that comment alone makes you racist. Then again I'm white, so my opinion might not be very valid. I think every generation, thinks that the previous generations ideas aren't acceptable though. I'm sure when my DD is older she'll pull me up on things that I say too.

PistachioTiramisuLimoncello · 15/08/2025 22:40

rolloverbeethoven · 15/08/2025 22:16

I honestly think the word racism has lost all meaning.

Well no it hasn’t. There are lots of racist threads popping up all over the place at the moment. People have been emboldened to share their backward, ignorant, racist attitudes as a result of the likes of Nigel Farage stirring up hatred of the “other”. It’s disgusting and shameful.

But the point remains that the op’s comment wasn’t racist.

EllyRoff · 15/08/2025 22:40

Just call them a daft cunt and move on ☺️

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