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AIBU?

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Original poster

Air BnB - would we get turned away for bringing an extra person?

209 replies

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:33

Okay, I am prepared to be told AIBU

the situation is group of 7 of us, 3 couples and myself (single when it was booked) booked an Airbnb for a weekend away. We are all close friends

we booked an Airbnb that has space for 7 people - 3 doubles, one single bed.

between the time of booking and now, I have started a relationship with someone and I would really like him to come. however, this obviously throws up an issue in the max capacity of the air BnB is already reached so it's not like we can just add one more person in

he's very chill, I know he'd be fine sleeping on the sofa or squeezing in the single with me. If we ask the air BnB host if we can do that I imagine they will say no though, even if we offer to pay more for the extra person?

or is it super cheeky to just all 8 of us show up and hope they don't notice?

or do I just accept he can't come? I know it's not the end of the world but I'd really love him to come, I don't want to be 7th wheel (again!) and these are my closest friends, due to living all over the country we rarely get all together for a whole weekend, so I'd like them to meet him.

OP posts:
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Blondeshavemorefun · 20/08/2025 23:57

So have you asked the owner yet @Jahavagayxn

LT1982 · 20/08/2025 22:17

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:42

You wouldn't be happy if your best friend bought their partner to a trip you are also bringing your partner to? That's a bit odd

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Well done on completely avoiding the question 👏🏼. I probably wouldn't be happy with a stranger coming to stay in a shared house, no. Unless this trip was booked way in advance, this relationship is still fairly new, yet you seem to think it should trump the air bnb rules and the plans previously made with friends 🙄

Nanof8 · 18/08/2025 19:52

You have said that your booking has reached the max, then you wouldn't be able to add one more person anyway. I would expect that it would affect their insurance or even safety issues. Most places have a maximum for a reason, it's not usually just a number they plucked out of the air.

Dutchhouse14 · 18/08/2025 11:21

Depends on the airbnb
, if you ask the owner they will have to say no for insurance purposes.
If the owners live next door they will definitely notice, it maybe they have a ring door bell and if so they may notice.
But I've been in many Airbnbs, including the one I'm in now, where this would go under the radar.
So really depends on their set up.
We do have family calling in on us sometimes when we stay in an Airbnb to visit them so even though we comply with occupancy we do sometimes have people round for dinner or visiting when we are in an airbnb

Blondeshavemorefun · 18/08/2025 09:20

If you didn’t want to be the 7th wheel why did you book with 3 couples when single ?

easily solved by asking the owner if can add one more to sleep on the sofa

but the burning question and we all want the answer is - @Jahavagayxn - how long have you been with your partner /bf/lover

TiredMummma · 18/08/2025 09:01

He just shouldn’t come- very weird

BourgeoisBabe · 18/08/2025 01:46

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:42

You wouldn't be happy if your best friend bought their partner to a trip you are also bringing your partner to? That's a bit odd

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A new partner I didn't know, yes, might not like it. What if I don't like them? But even if they didn't mind I would tell the Airbnb host and see what they say.

Maddy70 · 17/08/2025 23:55

IMissSparkling · 15/08/2025 15:40

Erm, have you asked your friends if they want a guy don't know crashing their holiday?! I would not be happy at all.

This. I would be very pissed off

seasid · 17/08/2025 23:45

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:42

You wouldn't be happy if your best friend bought their partner to a trip you are also bringing your partner to? That's a bit odd

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But it’s different because this is a new partner? Friends and partners who have been together long term have a completely different dynamic than people who have just started dating

has your partner even met your friends??

Ivy888 · 17/08/2025 23:38

In hotels you’re not allowed to exceed the maximum stated because of fire and safety regulations. I’d say this also applies to air bnb’s.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 21:06

KmcK87 · 17/08/2025 17:45

How do you know that the guests that you do know about aren’t also falling asleep on the sofa at the end of the night?

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I don't know, obviously, but why would they when they have a proper bed to go to? They aren't planning on spending all night, every night on the sofa, probably half naked, that's the difference.

Donsyb · 17/08/2025 18:44

Cosyblankets · 17/08/2025 18:41

So not only is she being told who she can take on her trip she's now being told what she can call him.

It doesn't matter what other people want to call him. It matters what she thinks. She may simply feel too old to call him a partner
None of that is what she asked.

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It does if she’s trying to impose someone she’s known 5 minutes on her friends as her “partner”. It’s just meaningless to call someone a partner unless they truly are.

Cosyblankets · 17/08/2025 18:41

Donsyb · 17/08/2025 18:27

This! Why do people on Mumsnet start calling boyfriends “partners” when they’ve been together 5 minutes? To me, if you aren’t serious enough to live together, you’re not partners ( unless it’s due to DC and you’ve been together a significant period of time).

He’s a boyfriend OP, it your partner.

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So not only is she being told who she can take on her trip she's now being told what she can call him.

It doesn't matter what other people want to call him. It matters what she thinks. She may simply feel too old to call him a partner
None of that is what she asked.

KilkennyCats · 17/08/2025 18:35

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:42

You wouldn't be happy if your best friend bought their partner to a trip you are also bringing your partner to? That's a bit odd

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They’ve never met him!

You’ve clearly only known him for five minutes yourself, hardly qualifies as a partner.

Donsyb · 17/08/2025 18:27

GenieGenealogy · 15/08/2025 18:17

Since when was a casual boyfriend a "partner"?

This! Why do people on Mumsnet start calling boyfriends “partners” when they’ve been together 5 minutes? To me, if you aren’t serious enough to live together, you’re not partners ( unless it’s due to DC and you’ve been together a significant period of time).

He’s a boyfriend OP, it your partner.

bumbaloo · 17/08/2025 17:53

42wallabywaysydney · 15/08/2025 16:48

LOL at all the posters saying OP shouldn’t bring her ‘stranger’ boyfriend when it’s a couples trip. Fair if she was trying to bring him to a girls trip but wtf, why should she be the only single one there when she’s not actually single anymore? Surely her friends will be excited to meet the new guy and if not tough, she’s entitled to bring him assuming the accommodation can be sorted.

Because maybe everyone knows each other and a holiday away isn’t the time to meet a new person people might dislike.

Sage71 · 17/08/2025 17:52

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:42

You wouldn't be happy if your best friend bought their partner to a trip you are also bringing your partner to? That's a bit odd

Show quote history

If it was my holiday too and 7 of us all knew each other really well were good friends and did stuff then one person brought a total stranger it would really depend on whether or not he complemented the group or not. I would not necessarily say a holiday is the best time to make introductions. Surely a few nights out first to break the ice and if he fits the group then yes but only if the Airbnb owner ok‘s it.

KmcK87 · 17/08/2025 17:45

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 13:32

I have an air BnB which is a sort of annexe to my own house. I can choose to rent it out when I am there, or not there, but I never rent it out when I am not there and this sort of thing is the reason why. I would not want some sweaty six foot bloke sleeping on my sofa, thanks. Especially not without a full and proper set of bedding. And a single bed in a holiday let may not be of the quality to withstand the weight of two shagging adults. The hot water capacity may struggle with extra people showering as well.
I make it clear on the listing that we live on site, so even if we choose to go away for a few days during guests' stays, they always book in the knowledge that we will see whatever is going on. It works because it puts off the people who might want to take the piss.
I know of people who have booked nices houses with pools sleeping 4 or 6 while the rest of their family or friends are in a cheap place with no nice facilities down the road. Then they turn up at the nice villa every day to use the pool and the wifi and the bbq, the garden furniture, the games room, the loos and the sunbeds then bugger off again at bedtime. So the house may only be sleeping 4 or 6, but everything else is taking a battering with 10 or 12 people in it.
Also people think if the host isn't there, they can book and pay for a place sleeping 4 or 6 people, then turn up with a load of blow up air beds and an extra four kids in tow. They don't see the harm, but honestly the difference to the wear and tear on your place, your furnishings and your pool etc is huge.

Edited

How do you know that the guests that you do know about aren’t also falling asleep on the sofa at the end of the night?

TeamBuffalo · 17/08/2025 17:13

Jahavagayxn · 15/08/2025 15:42

You wouldn't be happy if your best friend bought their partner to a trip you are also bringing your partner to? That's a bit odd

Show quote history

I wouldn't be happy if I arranged to share a house with a small group of people I knew well and one of them brought a person I did not know at all. And if she didn't even bother consulting the other members of the group, I would write her off as a CF and not go away with her again.

ThereWillBeSun · 17/08/2025 16:30

I have taken an extra person to a holiday home before, but we asked the owner in advance and they were fine with it. We brought an airbed for them to sleep on in the dining room

BoredZelda · 17/08/2025 15:55

If you have to sneak someone in, then you know the host won’t allow it. Why is it ok to do that?

ormiwtbte · 17/08/2025 15:50

Ask the host but if they say no then you have to accept that and he stays at home.
You were going to go without him when it was booked as you weren't with him then so you can manage a weekend without him.

canyouseemyhousefromhere · 17/08/2025 15:14

If you ask the host and they refuse, because of insurance perhaps and then take him anyway YABU. It could affect everyone elses holiday. The owner may live nearby or have cctv/ring doorbell.

if you ask and they refuse, book something for the two of you nearby. Enjoy your break.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 17/08/2025 14:38

We had an air bnb a year ago... two of DC's friends wanted to stay for two nights.... We just asked the owner and the two extras paid the fee.

Admittedly there was a spare room.. but often these places have spare put up beds or sofa beds.

I think it would have been stressful and ruined the break if we'd had to sneak them in and out.

HeadDeskHeadDesk · 17/08/2025 13:36

All the above being said, if a guest asked nicely and explained, if I felt I could comfortably accommodate them then I would. But I'd ask that they brought a double blow up bed and I might ask for an extra bit of money to be paid separately or to be held back from the deposit or whatever, to cover more hot water usage, and extra set of bedlinen etc.