Person I knew a long time ago wants us to give her son a bit of a holiday - would you?

Not after my last experience, no. Couldn’t get rid of the bugger, and I was expected to fund their life, social life, taxis, and pay for their onward tickets. So odd.

I’ve had friends of DC here though for temporary stays when things had gone a bit tits up for them and it has been fine. But they haven’t had ‘great expectations’.

excpet the OP knows what the parents are like and dislikes them for good reason.

how do you work that out?

I would reply in case she doesn't get the hint and gets in touch again. A simple - no that's not possible - is enough.

I would let them stay and I have let people I don't know but through mutual acquaintances stay many times before. But I like meeting new people and am happy to show them around. But if you don't want to do it and don't like meeting new people, then it is okay to say no too. I don't think asking makes them CFs or terrible people or whatever. People are just different, some would think this is fine, others not.

I think this is a class thing....
Not necessarily different countries/cultures....

in this case? not a hope in hell. I'd do it for a long lost genuine friend. and yes I know he is not his parents.

This is the second thread I've read on here just today about long lost ex friends, (who weren't even very good friends at the time) wanting to turn up out of the blue on OP's doorstep.

At least you got an email. There was a third thread a few weeks ago when an entire family arrived at the old homestead completely unannounced, the husband claiming to be an old work collegue of OP's husband. They offered gifts of Lidl chocolate, a bottle of rosé wine and a half eaten punnet of strawberries.

It's either international freeloader season, last ditch before the meteorite hits hands across the water reconciliation before armageddon time, foreign spies taking over people's identities and invading by us stealth or Extra Terrestrial alien shapeshifters landing.

I'd probably say yes in real life because I'm a bit daft but on here I'm going to tell you something wishy washy like offering to help him find cheap accommodation somewhere local, look out for him and generally bottle it.

I'm American and no way would I ask this. She is just an idiot.

I really want to hear more about this @SpringboksSocks!

No. I would direct them to a hostel if they can’t afford other accommodation.

Was the message actually intended for you or did they get the wrong person on their contact list?

I personally don't consider someone that's made no contact with me in multiple years a friend so I wouldn't want to do this.

I think you should say no OP.

These are not people you are friends with any more - it’s seems very obvious that you don’t even like them.

They sound like people who see their friends as resources “in their back pocket”, so to speak , to be called upon when they want a favour. You’re under no obligation to give it.

So have I! We've had young people stay from old or out of regular contact friends so they could attend open days at the nearby universities and for sporting events.

I wouldn't think twice if we had a bed spare. We've also had friends offer to have our young adults stay when they were travelling. It's pretty common in my experience.

My parents have done the same for Irish, Canadian, Australian and American friends. Then again, immigrants/expats tend to be pretty open to that.

It's fine to say no but I don't think it makes them CF to ask.

New Yorker. I wouldn't even respond and block them.

Not a chance would I let a stranger stay in my home.

I have to say, the same was done for me a few times - once by good friends of my parents but also by much more tenuous connections, including their friends’ friends! I stayed with three families in this way in South America. These were invaluable opportunities for me - each of the stays was only a few days long but in terms of impact for me, it was huge. Personally, I would consider it.

How has the request been made? Is it polite? Is it couched in such a way as to acknowledge that it’s been a long time and this would be a big favour? Is a time period suggested (I’d be wary of anything too long)?

I think it's changed. It was more common in the 80s when travel was more expensive. Now we have Travelodges, Premier Inns and AirBNBs everywhere, cheaper flights. Plus people are less likely to have a guest room. The second bedroom in my parents' house was always the guest room - children were in the single bedrooms and further down the pecking order.

Not a cat in hells chance I would do this. It's hard enough when family visit - all the slog of cleaning the house, changing sheets, cooking meals, bla bla bla. You'll end up paying for everything. Then when they ALL come over to England the next time you'll be asked to put them all up. Don't reply would be my advice.

I would do this, it's a nice thing to do for a young person and I remember people we barely knew putting me up when I was travelling abroad at that age. We've done similar for distant relatives from other countries.

I did the same with my American husband. Same reaction.

I’m neither British, Irish or American, and it’s a no from me. The idea that the amorphous blob that Europeans become when it’s useful to make a blanket statement about us, would be uniformly welcome to such a request from former friends. is also pure fantasy.

Don't even bother replying

😂🤣😂