Person I knew a long time ago wants us to give her son a bit of a holiday - would you?

We have a holiday home . When someone I hardly know contacts me for a free holiday, just say what I do ~ “ sorry we don’t rent our home out but there are a few lovely air bnbs nearby that I can recommend “.or in your case “ we do not take lodgers / paying guests “
Your ex- friend is a CF . They’re only interested in a freebie.

An alternative viewpoint:

Maybe your old/ex friend has finally seen through her, "Always getting fired from his job" DH and her high handed attitude at the time was inspired by his entitled behaviour as they came as a unit.

She's at least half woken up from the spell and is very clumsily trying to reconnect with better, long ago, happier relationships via her son.

If you see what I mean.

I’m an American and believe me they’re cheeky.

Fair enough. I can see that.

Cheeky fuckers!

I wonder how many others of your group got the same email?

Many years ago we got a letter (!) from my cousin, her son's friend had been offered a place at a Northern University but as he'd never been north of the M4 he wasn't sure he'd like it, could he come and stay to look round the area. We said Yes, a bit uncertain really as cousin's son wasn't coming. However, he came, we took him around places to show it really wasn't like Coronation St everywhere, he was a lovely guest, came to the University and stayed for years in the North after Uni he'd grown to like it so much.

You can certainly decline. But there’s no harm in doing it politely, rather than not relying. You can simply say too much time has passed for you to feel comfortable doing it or something similar.

Again the culture of “southern hospitality” isn’t really a British thing.

Of course she isn’t obligated to do it, - especially since she doesn’t like these people:
there’s just no need to be offended/
outraged by the request. I don’t see that is CF behaviour. It’s something I imagine a lot of people would be happy to do / see as normal to do for an old friend. The only error here was these people not realising that OP actually hates them even though they used to be good mates!

Are you in regular contact with these friends?

I’m surprised by most of the responses. I’ve done this for friends of friends and children of friends, no big deal. I wonder why people are so opposed? Is it because OP has been out of touch with the person asking?

OP your former friend has probably trawled though an old address book and sent pretty much the same email to anyone they think might be prepared to offer accomodation. They won’t be expecting everyone to respond, it’s a fishing exercise , so whatever you decide, answer or not answer, offer accommodation or refuse, is fine.

I think it is part of the American way of life. Because it is such a big country people have spare bedrooms to accommodate people who have driven a long way to see them. I had an American friend who cried to me over FB once Christmas because she did not have any guests coming to stay that Christmas who she could entertain. It was then that I knew we were not compatible. No way would I have entertained her after that as I just don't like people staying in my house with high expectations.

Even more reason not to comply.

It’s CF behaviour of the highest order and I wouldn’t reply unless she starts nagging, and then the answer would be a flat no.

Absolutely not.

US and I still think your notfriend is a rude piece of work user.

She's not and wasn't a friend. She was an aquaintance You didn't even get on with well. You haven't seen her in years. You have no idea what the kid is like.

I sure wouldn't do this but there are plenty of people who think it's ok to impose their family or friends on people to save them a buck. There's even a term for it in the UK, cheeky fuckers.

Well I think it’s entirely down to whether you want to or not, and you’ve said that you don’t, so don’t. You are under no obligation whatsoever to host anyone. I don’t know that I’d think it was massively cheeky, this couple don’t necessarily know that your opinion of them has gone downhill since you were first friends, they may just view you as friends who have drifted away due to life circumstances but still as well disposed towards them as you originally were.

I’m a Brit and don’t find it rude at all. I’d absolutely do this for an old friend. She probably has no idea you hate her 🙄

Oh God, please don't judge all Americans by these folks. No. No. And notachance!

-your local American.

The more I think about it, OP, the more I think you should say no. Who's to say that the son's holiday won't turn into a rekindling of contact between your family and the Smug/Biting Wits, whether you like it or not. They could be harder to shake off a second time.

Dear Mrs Smug Mummy, No sorry, whatever gave you the idea that we run an Airbnb?

CF’s do it because they’re usually entitled and thick skinned and used to getting their own way. You’re probably not the only people she’s tried to tap up.

It’s quite liberating to tell people like this where to get off.

No why would you