The school run has put me off other women

This says it perfectly.

😆

It's not the 'school gate' or 'women', it's just life and 'people'

I don’t disagree that difficult people at the school gates are likely difficult elsewhere too but it’s quite a unique environment the first time you’re exposed to it.

I admire their optimism in their ability to let the children out bang on time.

It's not the 'school gate' or 'women', it's just life and 'people'.

Agree, our village hall committee in a later smaller village was like the Roman Senate and absolutely ruthless. I soon came off that too 😂 school gates is just another place where a lot of personalities, some overbearing & unpleasant, are forced together. Also it includes the pressure of conforming to being the stereotypical mum happily socialising with a large group of other mums. We’re not all into that, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

^^ that’s a relief for you

They can, and so can men. Again, it's just people.

The bitchiest group of people that I work with is a group of 3 men and 1 woman who tear just about everyone down, including each other.

My dc is starting school next month and we’ve been told we aren’t allowed to gather or speak at the school gates as it disturbs the neighbours. They have said do not be early, arrive exactly at handover time then leave immediately 😂

I hate the term 'clique'. Groups of friends are not cliques unless they deliberately exclude people to be unfriendly. Most people, male and female, are actually pretty nice.

I did experience some difficulty years ago when someone that I considered a friend and had encouraged to join my group of friends on nights/days out etc., actively tried to exclude me and my children and turn others against me, but that wasn't because it was the school gate, a clique or any of those things. It was simply because she is an arsehole. She ended up falling out with just about everyone in the end. I still have the same friends, along with others who have appeared along the way, long after my children left school.

It's not the 'school gate' or 'women', it's just life and 'people'.

I think this part of the difference

whereas you're more likely to have an actual conversation, with questions and everything, from women.

women talk about people and emotions -difficult to do that with others around unless you like being called a gossip
men talk about things

Agree, some women can be real nasty little creatures and seem to get worse the older they get

Having a son at school has taught me that boys are just the same as girls in terms of being “cliquey”, leaving people out etc For good or bad, they’re exactly the same with their friendships and being close with some people, falling in and out of friendships etc

Saying they ignore you suggests you’ve actually said hello and been ignored. Have you?

So, you like every man you've ever met?

What have these women done to you that's been nasty?

She likely had those issues with the younger versions of the women posting stuff like that too. Can spot them a mile off.

I remember that there were bit hy cliques when DD was in school.
When my younger two start, I don't think I'll be bothered tbh.
It feels like such a big thing when people are mean or just blank you but I think time away from it also teaches us that these people weren't so big, special, or better.

I moved areas when DD was in middle school. I joined the PTA, I was invited by them all to go for breakfast the next day. I was all excited. I was making friends in my new area.
I got there, and no one else turned up. It was a restaurant V V near the school. I waited for over an hour and a half. Maybe they were all late! Maybe they had planned on being there straight after school, but had errands and would be there at 10, maybe they were late for 10.
No one ever apologised, they all blanked me until they wanted someone to grab one of their kids or needed someone to walk their kids in.

In the years following, I realised actually, I wouldn't choose to be friends with any of them anyway, and actually doing what they did to me was mean- which I am not, but their meanness came from them having less than happy lives outside of the playground.

There are all kinds of women (and men) at the school gate but the problem is you’re stuck in the vicinity of the crazy ones for years at a time. Sure, there’s the ‘it’s just three minutes’ argument but that’s a little ingenuous given the amount of events, play dates and general enmeshment of the primary years.

Lots of women are nice, the ones with older children tend to be a little aloof as they’ve already been through the crazy once and then you get the bullies, the mad ones and the ‘let’s synchronise our diaries so you can be my free childcare ones.’

That's good!

Copied form the OP:

'I was lucky to make some lovely friends - I gravitate towards women now.'

'I was then introduced to the school run. I had a flashback to the bitchy girls at school, the bullies and even my friends who were nice one minute, nasty or ignoring me the next. I'm not getting bullied now, but I'm often getting ignored.'

The OP's bad experiences at school are not her fault.

😆

That’s great!

@SomeOfTheTrouble I never mentioned anything about anything all women share.

It’s pretty funny, isn’t it. Also adding the illuminating ‘it’s a you problem!’ 😆

I am always baffled by how much headspace people give the school run. It's nothing to do with your real life. Just get your kids and go.
It's like all walks of life, some people are nice, some people are less so.

It makes you feel this way towards women because it's predominantly women but if there was more of an even split a lot of the men wod be dickheads as well and some would be nice.

I have 3 kids at school, have done 11 years of school runs and have genuinely never seen this ‘clique’ thing you describe.