The school run has put me off other women

Wow, that's quite a chip. I'd assumed (if I thought about it at all) they're being supported by the fathers of their children.

I see a few threads where school mums are accused of being in cliques, it seems to be some sort of lashing out as the person using the term feels excluded, so don’t wish to admit it’s just a group of people who are friends. I also see a lot of these people want to be invited to join, are envious, and declare themselves being ignored, when they are simply another person at the school gate they don’t know really. They are no more ignored or witnessing a clique than if they went to thr pub and saw a group of female friends together who didn’t invite them and everyone else to join them. What’s very curious is the focus is always on these groups and not the many other mums who also are not part of that group. They seem to be irrelevant.

im sorry you’re hurting op, these women are not to blame for any social issues you have, nor are you entitled to be part of their friendship group, and if you feel lonely you can approach any of the mums, or do things outwith the school, good luck I hope you find some happiness and friends,

The ones that work, don’t have time to chat because they need to pay for those who are stood around chatting until 10am.

Never understood this need to make friends at school gates. Who cares about stranger whose kids happen to go to the same school as your kids. Why so much obsession about it?

Female co workers and managers, well that’s a whole other ballgame. Male colleagues and managers are way less drama and way nicer (generalization I know).

Ooh look another oh so edgy bitchplop and run OP

First post nails it!

Also there's something really off about women who say "I get on better with men" sorry

What’s the massive problem? Genuinely curious.

My eldest is starting school next month. I’ll be doing pick up. I wfh which is really isolating and i’m looking forward to a chat and to hopefully make some more friends this way.

Exactly this. They’re groups of friends, chatting with each other. That’s all.

Why do we women haven to befriend every stray that comes our way. I’m just finished the primary school years and at school pick up times I spoke to my friends who were there because I like them and they're my friends. It’s not a snub to anyone else. People here also assume everyone at the school gate are rational people., there’s plenty of nightmares there that I’ve no interest in getting to know.

Your school must be different to ours. I live opposite and they start arriving for pick up at about 2:15 and in the mornings are often still there chatting at 10am, especially when the weather's nice 😆 True there are those who need to be in and out quickly, but I don't think those are the ones OP is taking about.

I get this OP, bullied at school by the 'popular ones' and now on the school run there's 2 or 3 who purposely ignore me, even ignoring / turning head the other way when her partner or the other people she's with say morning. I thought it might be because we aren't from the village but it's still our catchment school, but then she's friendly with other mums who aren't from the village and were new last year. I am on the PTA.

You’re going to get your ass handed to you here. That’s how these threads always go.

if the topic comes up a lot maybe there is some truth to it if one person says something u can say o your paranoid if a lot of people are saying the same thing then there must be something in it

The school run isn’t a club, it’s an errand, just like buying groceries. And just like buying groceries, most people want to be in and out as quick as possible. Some, if they see someone they know, will stop and talk for a few minutes. Stopping to talk to a complete stranger while running an errand would put most people out of their comfort zone. Some people make an effort to do this because they want to get to know the parents of their kids friends, but it’s not easy and natural for anyone.

I belief to a running club and its really interesting to watch the way relationship (friendships) form.

The women have their groups and whilst they're polite friendly to newcomers, it can take a long time for new women to feel part of the gang. The men are best buddies, arranging extra runs outside of club and including newbies to join established groups within a few sessions.

The new people themselves behave differently too. Women wait to be "included", men just assume that they will be.

I can believe this is true, but I have never once seen evidence of it in my whole life.

The men in my life have very very fixed groups of friends. They would never in a million years talk to a stranger in a bar, not for all the money in the world.

I find it really bizarre when women (and I've only seen this with women - it may happen with men too) believe that other women are super confident and have somehow organised this closed 'clique' that they can never have access to. It's like a weird micro-conspiracy theory. The same women always seem to believe other women must be super welcoming at all times, always be polite and say hello, never have a bad day, never just be in their own world or they're bitches.

Believe me, they are just getting on with life. I promise you. No one is trying to exclude you.

IME a group of men in the pub will include and absorb any and all men who approach them. They wouldn't ignore a lone man at the bar and they certainly wouldn't ignore one who tried to be friendly.

Its strange that groups of men in the pub or playing golf don't get called bitchy cliques.

Just women. Hmm.

They couldn't possibly be chatting to their friends no? Ugh sick of reading this bullshit. It's just so tireeome.

Are you involved in the school PTA? That's probably where most of the women have got to know each other.
Get stuck into school activities and you'll get to know them too

Exactly. Tiresome old trope. Women need to support women in this world. Men generally hate us. If people don’t understand that yet, they will in time..

I’m very relieved I don’t have to do the school run anymore 🤣. I just kept myself to myself and only chatted to about 2 of the mums but was friendly to others, interestingly the mums I had in common both worked similar professional jobs and similar outlook/interests

You’re there to drop off or collect the kids, no need to do anything beyond that.

There are definitely nasty women in the world. I would argue men are far, far nastier, given that the rates at which they murder, rape and maim other people.

Being around someone who believes in cliques and 'being left out' is incredibly uncomfortable. Dealing with insecure people is very difficult - people, especially busy people with children - tend to avoid it and go for easygoing people who just get on with chatting and don't mind if sometimes someone forgets to say hello.

If you could get out of your own head and see the women around you as people who are just trying to get on with life you might find they're not out to get you - in fact, you are just not that important.