For making dd16 move?

What an awful comment, op is a lone parent stuck between a rock and a hard place, her DC is old enough to understand this and actually give her mum some support.

Just A thought but have you taken a potential increase in mortgage rates into consideration? Reducing your outgoings by half must mean a huge difference in house prices.

Gosh I’m glad you’re not my mam.

@IAmQuiteNiceActually plus it would be two women living alone in a bad area - absolutely not if it can be avoided, especially for the teenager.

Sit down with her
show her the numbers
ask for her suggestions for something you can both put up with
let her know it’s not ideal

she won’t realise it but friendship groups change so much over the next few years and many children have less than ideal situations thrown at them so she will be ok

I must say I found this one particularly amusing. Not just that she magically summons the money to stay, but she was also meant to find funding for driving lessons/test/car/insurance. Most financially comfortable families can't afford this these days.

Just do it.

I had everything lined up to move (at DD’s request too, no less) and then she backed out last minute because of college, friends, etc. In the meantime with the cost of living, I just can’t afford to be thinking about moving for at least 2 years.

DD is now in uni and she’s the first to say that it was pointless, she barely talks to her college friends anyways as everyone has moved on to different things.

Why are people acting as if the OP has a choice? This is life as a single mother with no support from the father (because it's almost always that way around). You're constantly in situations where a decision has to be made but both options are pretty rubbish - just that one is slightly less rubbish.

And then you have people pointing out that you have a history of making bad decisions.

It's utterly stupid to suggest that the op moves to the crap area or to a flat for two years. That would be thousands of pounds down the drain.

I would move, your daughter is 16 and able to access public transport to get to where she wants to go to.
I went to a college that wasn’t local due to the courses they offered, I commuted an hour twice a day and many people stayed onsite at 16 during term time because the commute is too far.
You need to get your ex off your back and sort stuff out so you can now live life too. It sounds like you’ve had an awful time, have had to really stretch yourself and also put up with a husband who has chosen another family over his own.
If this was her gcse year I would say stay where you are until she finished them but she has done them. She isn’t suddenly going to want to move so you’ll gain nothing by staying in an area you hate because she’ll be off doing her thing in a couple of years and you would have sunk your available money into staying.
I found myself saying a phrase recently that I swore I’d never say after hearing my parents say it after an argument with my eldest, which was basically when he was earning his own money he could choose what he did with it, how to spend his time etc but whilst he still has to rely on us he has to compromise with family members. (Although my parents were a lot more blunt about it)
Move, start your new life x

Do you not understand that people can't all magic money out of thin air?

Could she board on week days? We hosted overseas A level students for our local sixth form college some years ago. The college may be able to put you in touch with potential host families.

A 1hr and 15min commute 3x a week is nothing. You’d be doing the same commute for work so not asking her to do anything you wouldn’t do.
If her friends aren’t worth that, they’re not that close or good friends.

YANBU to go now that she has finished GCSEs. It was a big sacrifice for you to wait so her education wasn’t interrupted.

Sorry, it was a long shot.

I agree. Mothers don’t uproot their kids or disrupt their life for shits and giggles. She needs to understand that.

I did that commute every single day of my high school life. It wasn't a big deal at all. I commuted for exams too.

You need to make good financial decisions for your own long-term best interest. Buying a shitty house in a run-down area is not a smart financial decision.

Will your teenager be paying the mortgage? Or helping you with your pension later on? Or buying you a shiny new house when she's left home? I'm assuming the answer is no, in which case she simply doesn't get a vote.

Are you going to be paying towards her mortgage in that two years, otherwise how will that work?

Not read the full thread but can you extend the term of your mortgage to reduce your current payments? If I have understood correctly you have to sell in 2 years when your daughter reaches 18 but a lot can happen in 2 years, better paying job etc etc

It happens. I moved age 10, age 11, age 13, age 17 plus all the other times before that, sometimes I was at a school for just 8 weeks
this was London area to Lancashire so not even close by
wasn’t ideal but it was ok in the end

Have you RTFT?

YABVU.

Thats a major disruption during her course! Its highly likely to disrupt her learning and have a negative impact on her results.

45 miles is a horrific commute to get to collage- I was only 10 miles out from my colage but public transport would take a nminimum of an hour. and that was back when buses ran every 20 minutes.
I missed several mock exams at one point because they started at 9am and the busses were delayed.

You still also haven't answered the question of how long is her commute?

I ended up having to sleep in the library (again 15 years ago it was open 24/7- -not anymore) for my actual exams!

Have you got a back up plan for if (read When) the trains are on strike? or when they get delayed?

Discounting the boyfriend - I really wouldnt be moving her at this stage.
or - is there a friend or other family member that she can stay with/at on her collage days - especially around exam times

This is a very sad situation for you and your dd.
sounds like you are doing your absolute best to find the least bad solution
It sounds like dd doesn’t really know/understand that part of this is due to her father prioritising his ‘new’ family and wanting his share of the house equity. so she’s frustrated with you and you are unfairly having to take the consequences -
just wanted to acknowledge that really.
(If he was even a half decent father he would do right by her at least until she is 18)