To think I’m not a nice person?

I agree with some of these, I don’t dwell on killing spiders and gender reveals are stupid.

I assume you have never had a pet though. If you one and it died, you would understand your friend.

Everything is fine imo except for rushing past a wheelchair user who is going to the wheelchair bathroom. You will pay for that in some way as it is nasty.

I thought this was going to be a thread from the point of view of Eleanor Shellstrop of The Good Place. But actually, maybe watching The Good Place might help you work out what has changed for you?

I'm a bit confused here - I see people behaving like this all the time and getting away with it. I think there must be something wrong with me too because I always thought that those who don't give a shit were actually admired, based on my life experience (and they're always keen to do lots of virtue signalling things like donating to charity and telling everyone about it).

@numbfromlife has a good take on it, I know I've felt the same sometimes. I think the OP saying look something is amiss here, why am I like this, is a hugely positive step. Start with some counselling OP, see what you uncover.

Yep, rushing past someone in a wheelchair is pretty unforgivable.

Perimenopause?

I honestly dont know how to vote. You sound like you have an injury to the emotional processing part of your brain and its resulting in sociopathic behaviours. I'd talk to my doctor of I was you.

I agree with you, you aren’t very nice.

I think some of the examples are selfish and thoughtless (others not that big a deal .. noone cares about a gender reveal!). Can you not put yourself in the position of the other person easily? That's what makes most people behave kindly, that and social norms and worry that others are watching judging. I also want to be part of a community where people treat each other well and it makes me happy to be part of that in my own small way. Maybe you are feeling a bit tuned out of society / other people, in your own bubble trying to get through each day and not really feeling connected.

These are very similar to the questions on the autism assessment for a parent to comment and answer for their child.

If it bothers you, you could see if that might be a reason 💐💐💐

When I'm stressed I completely dissociate and feel like I'm walking around in a dream. It takes a while (days!) for me to even notice sometimes. I hate it because I feel like I'm not connected to my DD properly and I don't want it to affect her.

It sounds like you're stressed and depressed and you've dissociated from reality a bit. You sound numb. Yes your actions are those of a dickhead but I think the fact you used to be OK and you're worried about your lack of empathy shows maybe it's something more disordered regarding your mental health rather than a bad personality!

I'd seek therapy, learn about mindfulness and try to give yourself space to stop, think and breathe. I think you'll come around ❤

100%. She’s raising an arsehole and will no doubt be surprised when this child screws her over later in life

I kind of relate OP. I know I am actually a very kind and caring person. I would still never do things like barge past a wheelchair user (or anyone) though. I've been very generous to people in my life time, very empathetic. I know I am, deep down, a nice person.

Life has given some severe trauma over the past years though and I find it hard to find that care anymore. I know it's because I don't have the emotional energy to feel much. I care about me and mine and what I need to care about, and not one bit beyond that. I just don't have the energy. I'm not an awful person but I aren't the same nice person I used to be either. I think I'm just in survival mode.

Sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t think you’re any good so what’s the point in being good.
For what it’s worth op, as someone who crosses a zebra crossing multiple times a day, half the time drivers don’t stop there and they don’t look like they give a shit. I’d say the fact you’re worried about being a good or bad shows you aren’t a bad person.
Why not conduct a little experiment and do the “good thing” for a week and see if you feel better?

I feel really sad for you, OP.

I’m in therapy at the moment for C-PTSD. I expressed to my therapist that I’m struggling to sympathise/empathise with people lately, and that, while it makes me feel bad, I really struggle to drum up an emotional response sometimes. It’s just like I’m watching something through a thick pane of glass.

Therapist explained that, when you’re dealing with trauma, your brain often numbs or dissociates, but that we’re not able to numb selectively. Could it be that you’ve been through some really tough stuff as well, and you’ve numbed yourself up as a protective mechanism.

I hope you can find it in you to change, OP. Sending you love, fwiw x

I do agree with you about gender reveals. Everything else feels insensitive but the way you’re saying it is making me lol so I don’t know if you’re serious

Honestly you're not a sociopath or psychopath as if you were you wouldn't be considering your behaviour as abnormal at all.

I think you sound overwhelmed. And have (probably temporarily) shut down empathy as a kind of self protection because no one can take on every child wanting a toy, squashed snail, dithering stranger etc.

It's just a survival instinct.

Perhaps you have forgotten that other people, like you, have feelings and can be hurt?
Perhaps you have even forgotten that you have feelings and can be hurt?

How do you know 🧐?

You sound like a bit of a twat. If you don't live in London, have you considered moving here? You'll be fine.

You seem to be implying it's something you can't help doing but it seems quite calculated to me. The recipients of your behaviour are all quite vulnerable- wheelchair users, the elderly, small children and tiny creatures. You're basically punching down to make yourself feel more powerful.

Hopefully your kid won't grow up to be a bully based on your example.

Selfish and lacking in a scary amount of empathy. Your child will be a delight.

I just couldn’t even imagine whizzing past a wheelchair user to beat them to a disabled toilet.

To be honest OP, your examples sound quite normal (perhaps bar the running elderly people over one?!).

But even the pet dying one, IF you have never had an adored pet in your life then no, I wouldn’t expect you to understand.

I don’t think any of your examples make you a heartless person, does anyone really care about the gender of someone else’s child? Really, your examples are just you not being able to relate to a certain situation/the situation is not your problem to care about (again, bar the potentially dangerous driving…)