To think I’m not a nice person?

I think you are possibly displaying sociopathic tendencies.
Sociopathic tendencies, often associated with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), involve a consistent disregard for the rights and feelings of others, a lack of empathy, and a tendency towards manipulative and deceitful behavior.
Do you think this applies to you?

You wait until AFTER the disabled person has used it. The baby can wait 5 more minutes and so can you. They might not be able to. That is real assh*le behaviour.

You are clearly a nasty person! One day you will need the help of others...let's hope Karma comes back to bite you.

Imagine being on a train with your mum (the Op) and she slings her feet with shoes on, on to the seat opposite. Like a twatty rude poorly brought up 14 year old.

Op I think you k ow these things are wrong so stop doing them. How would you like to
be stepped on by a giant person who does GAF

Make a start by not actively trying to beat a disabled person to the disabled toilets.

DD will be fine for 5 minutes whilst the person that actually has no other choice but to use the disabled toilet does so.

Really gross behaviour from you, and your daughter will pick up on it & emulate it. Then I guess you’ll have a couple of feelings - embarrassment & shame.

Make a start by not actively trying to beat a disabled person to the disabled toilets.

DD will be fine for 5 minutes whilst the person that actually has no other choice but to use the disabled toilet does so.

Really gross behaviour from you, and your daughter will pick up on it & emulate it. Then I guess you’ll have a couple of feelings - embarrassment & shame.

UANBU in your assumption that you are a horrible person or at least you are making yourself sound horrible for the sake of this post.

I said that because a while ago I saw a documentary of a woman who spoke about how she felt indifferent to a lot of scenarios, lack of empathy giving lots of examples and she went and got help and now although she knows she is a sociopath, she can manage things. What's wrong in saying that's what came to my mind. If OP seeks help and can manage it better, isn't that good?

This might be the first promising thing you’ve said about yourself. You are showing feelings of guilt and shame for your behavior, and above that you recognize the bad behavior itself to begin with.

I would guess that you grew up in a household with either parents that modeled the type of behavior you describe, or you experienced neglect.

You are not a lost cause if you start doing the right think. Rewire your brain through repeatedly following through with choices that reflect who you want to be.

And for every time your natural instincts rise to take away this attempt to better yourself, then employ your creative mind to imagine the consequences of your actions for the other person(s) involved. Imagine the worst outcomes and play out the scenario in your head.

get into therapy as soon as possible. A parent who has underdeveloped empathy, who models unempathetic behavior to children could cause worse behaviors to develop in their own child, especially if there is a strong genetic trait passed down.

Probably because you haven’t bothered to read OP’s posts - specifically the ones that says that she does stop at pedestrian crossings - she was talking about people trying to cross at random places.

Some people really enjoy the opportunity of kicking someone else when they’re down - as evidenced by this thread. Ironically to try and demonstrate how ‘nice’ they are.

This is exactly what came to my mind.

You don’t sound like a very nice person.
There could be a lot of reasons for this, perhaps you have an undiagnosed mental health condition or maybe unresolved trauma.
You have two options. If it bothers you, seek counselling and take steps to improve yourself.
The second option is to just accept you aren’t good person and carry on the way you are. If that is what you choose to do then you also need to accept all the potential ramifications of that. For example, not having friends, potential future estrangement from your children and loneliness in old age, a bad reputation and being widely disliked.
Are you a spiritual or religious person? How does your behaviour align with those beliefs? If you believe there is an afterlife then what you do in this life will have very long lasting consequences!

I think most are understandable. I grew up on a farm. There was no mercy for pests and no regret, although we were told it was unlucky to kill a spider.

Not slowing down, I'm on the fence about. It depends. I guess each case is different.

The one that concerns me is indulging your toddler holding on to something someone else wants. Turn taking is a social skill. Lack of social skills will cause friendship problems. Lack of turn taking could lead to a sense of entitlement. Would you feel able to say, "You have it for ten more minutes and then let XXX have it." In fairness these soft play areas are hell.

Many people feel this way (myself included) but it doesn’t mean you should take it out on disabled people who need to use the facilities specifically made for them and not you. It may not sound fair but you need to strive to maintain consideration of others in face of experiencing the opposite from the situations you have described, work, etc. No one is asking you to be Jesus, but the disabled toilet thing is quite serious.

Have you ever thought about saving your ‘not-nice’ behaviour solely to those who are not nice to you and spare everyone else?

Plus, people don’t actually care about gender reveals. They are only an excuse to celebrate with family and friends. You would have been invited because you’re important in some way to the expectant parents. They only care about a having a healthy baby at the end of the day. The point is that you’re just there to add to the celebrations.

Have you noticed over the past few years that you’re slowly losing friends? Or has there been no difference?

Do you even want to change?

"Nice" is not a very specific word ...I don't think you sound very caring, thoughtful or compassionate...they are all things you could choose to work on if you wanted.

OP I do relate to many of your examples, not because I am like that now, but because I was like that when a kid/adolescent. I remember being pleased when I heard on the news about people dying in some catastrophe as I felt people were a blight on the planet and on the environment and pretty much irredeemable. I think if I hadn't intervened in my own development, I probably would have ended up with a similar 'what's wrong with me?' list to you. The exception was that I always cared a great deal about animals and the environment -- plenty of compassion to spare there, just none for my fellow humans.

Quite dispassionately I decided I did not want to go through life like this.

Then, for unrelated reasons, I learned meditation (not to 'fix' my sociopathic tendencies but out of curiosity and to try to fix my crap sleep!) and as an unexpected side benefit, I started to develop compassion generally. I actually felt my heart sort of opening up, to everybody, not just my nearest and dearest. Now, that sociopathic kid that I used to be seems like a different person.

I don't tell this story to boast, but out of gratitude that something turned me around and put me on a different course. Feel free to direct-message me if you want to know more. But in the meantime, thanks for being honest and I suspect that you (and 'kid' me) are not alone. But I do know that things can change, sometimes intentionally but sometimes not (directly) intentionally.

This is a "reverse", of a sort: not an individual, but it's what Most People in society are like. Right OP?

I think there’s more to this, I don’t think you’re just a “horrible person” I don’t believe in that dichotomy - go and see someone non judgmental and explore it further.

Yep.

You do sound a bit odd. Get some counselling to understand why you behave this way. It will bite you on the arse on day…

I have come back to the thread and read your replies. You didn’t actually push past a disabled person who was waiting in front of you so it sounded worse than it was.
you had empathy before but have had a tough few years. I think you are either on medication for depression which numbs your feelings or you are suffering with depression. It can make you more self absorbed. Have a chat with your dr. Are you getting any joy out of your life? I am sorry my first post was unkind.

Indeed and when someone is let across the road the driver can’t assume they’ll look for traffic the other way

Also this - the amount of times I’ve had to slam the brakes on because someone in front of me has done the same to let someone cross the road in busy rush hour traffic and they’re not at a pedestrian crossing. That’s why we have pedestrian crossings!