To think I’m not a nice person?

There are a few reasons why people with a disability need a disabled toilet OP. My DH is a wheelchair user because he is tetraplegic. He simply cannot use a toilet that doesn’t have enough space to get in. He also needs to go with very little notice and doesn’t have the same capacity as most people to control his bladder. If you rush past him you are effectively allowing a grown man to have an accident. It’s very distressing and undignified for people with a disability to be denied the right to go to the toilet whenever and however they need to. Does that give you a reason to not be so self centred? Will you continue to show a lack of empathy because you see your need to be greater than someone else despite the fact that you have more options available to you and your child?

Apart from the last one, I’m not sure the others are a big deal

I was kinda with you at the start but the disabled toilet one got me , then going back the not letting the elderly cross the road... you say you are kind but around your own family and needs, maybe pretend its your grandma or imagine being wheelchair bound yourself if that's what you need to do to behave like a functioning part of a healthy society.

Actively rush past a wheelchair user …

to change my baby, who, unlike an adult wheelchair user, has no concept of needing to be changed.

nice.

OP, I read this earlier and went away and had a think. I don't think you're an awful person, I thin for whatever reason, you are pushed to the absolute limit. You can cope with what's in front of you but little else, there's no bandwidth left. There simply isn't room for the wandering pedestrians, wailing children and sed dementia sufferers.
You say you've had a difficult few years, is it at all possible to step off the roundabout for a little? Look for a new, kinder, better, job for example. Even just managing to rest more and re-set.
I know I'm being vague but I think you need to get to the core of whatever is wrong before you can recover. If that's not too woo.

ASPD

Having had a disabled father - pushing in front of a disabled person for the toilet is really horrible. But I guess it is never too late to change your ways - I really hope you do so your children don't grow up to be like you.

@PBJsandwich123

much prefer someone who is authentic and upfront about not being saint (such as yourself), rather than those who talk endlessly about being kind and slamming anything that isn't massively left wing but don't take any concrete action to make the world a better place.

ever heard of middle ground? Or are you prone to hyperbole and drama in RL?

What a weird game

You aren’t teaching her to behave with decency. She is learning from your behaviour. You are setting bad examples to your kid!

The fact you don’t say anything to them despite you finding their behaviour strange shows you have insight to the fact that it would upset them.

But to say you’d push past a disabled person saying you don’t care if they need it more. That’s a bit shit. Especially when you haven’t said that you aren’t able-bodied enough to take your child to the non-disabled toilets to use the loo, or to take your child elsewhere. Also not slowing down for elderly people, which in turn could end up with them in harms way.

Not sure if it’s a troll post or not.
If not then you just sound like a bit of a dick tbh 🤷‍♀️

So the gender reveals , birthdays after 18 etc are pretty normal.

your friends pet dying - you had no bond with the cat so it’s difficult to feel how it feels for her, so it may seem ridiculous but if you had experienced the death of a beloved pet yourself you would definitely know it’s not at all ridiculous and entirely normal as a pet is part of the family.

Rushing past a wheelchair use to change your baby is entitled and not caring is deeply unempathic

squashing a spider by mistake - I would say some guilt as unintentional but would expect a caring person to try and put a spider outside as all creatures are part of our whole eco system. So by not caring about them it suggests you are not connected to the bigger picture.

Not slowing down for the elderly - well I guess when you get to that age you will get your comeuppance !! That is quite sad.

What happened 15 years ago? Why do you think you have changed?? You say you were not always like this? I think you are genuinely looking for answers. I think it’s important you do start to focus on ways of becoming more connected to world around you. Not taking in everyone’s problems but a goal to think more about others as actual human beings with thoughts and feelings. And think about how you might want others to treat you? If you were old or disabled.

I would save one loved one over five strangers.

Virtue signallers? For not racing a person in a wheelchair to the disabled toilet 😂

It took a while.

To be honest I agree with you. You won't get a straight answer on this as there are so many virtue signallers about. I much prefer someone who is authentic and upfront about not being saint (such as yourself), rather than those who talk endlessly about being kind and slamming anything that isn't massively left wing but don't take any concrete action to make the world a better place. When ever people bring up the philosophical conundrum about if you have to chose between saving one person you know and love Vs saving 5 people you don't know, I just level with them and say I'd pick the person I knew and loved. I was at a dinner party and asked how people would feel if they picked the 5 and then found out they were all paedophiles, that put a cat amongst the pigeons 😆 as you can tell I'm also an arsehole

Have you ever taken the psychopath test? Score over 10 indicates psychopathy, apparently. We did it- dd1, ds and myself were negative scores. Dd2 and DH both got 9! I would say they are both far more self pleasing than us, so probably fits!

I’ve read through all your replies to OP’s, and after reading them, think that you are actually crying out for some help. Yes, I still think you come across as somewhat unpleasant, but I also think that this might be to do with whatever you are trying to cope with right now - your detachment regarding others’ feelings/needs could actually be down to the difficulties you are experiencing yourself right now.
Is there anyone neutral that you could talk to to help you through whatever it is you are struggling with? I know you’ve said that you think therapy of some sort might help you but you can’t do it right now, but really, you are concerned enough about your behaviours to post here, so some kind of therapy would probably help you to start liking yourself a bit better (because I’m not sure you really do at the moment), and then you may start to once again empathise with others. I wish you all the best.

You clearly think you’re the most important person in the room. To rush in front of a wheelchair user because your kid needs changing is possibly one of the most selfish things i’ve ever heard. You have an inflated sense of self importance. Your ego is big. It’s possible you are a narcissist. Do you have many friends OP? Bet the ones you do have talk behind your back because quite possibly the only thing you talk about is yourself. You’re the main character in your selfish little world

Wondering if this is like that Black Mirror episode... and if we all pile on and agree with the OP that she's not very nice, we'll all get attacked by fake killer bees 😂

Considering that you acknowledge that you used to be empathetic and use the expression that you’re just getting through day to day, it sounds like a psychological response to pain and unhappiness.

I’d explore talk therapy with a good counselling psychologist as it sounds like perhaps this is a learned defence mechanism (nobody is going to get one over on me!) rather than something innate. Talking about it in a safe space may help you enormously understand WHY you are behaving like this and therefore curb the self loathing.

I wish you well. I’m on the other side of the spectrum and almost have too much empathy and are therefore trying to work on boundaries at the moment. We are all a work in progress. Well done for reaching out!

This isn't anything special. You sound like most people tbh - you only care about yourself, and your immediate family/circle. Sorry, you're not that different!

I’m sorry to say that you come across as very unpleasant.

How do you feel if people are unkind to you? If it makes you feel upset, then you need to understand that it works both ways - that's how societies work! It may not come naturally to you, but you may need to learn to act with more compassion, especially as a role model to your child.

You sound as if you have a problem with normal social interactions (are you on the A.S.D spectrum ? )Sometimes we have to adapt/fit into situations in order to get along if we are always at odds with the world the world will be at odds with us Humans are heard animals

I think you sound depressed. Your apathy gets stronger as you care less and less about life.

I don’t think you’re a sociopath or psychopath. I do think you may well need an SSRI to help you and some cognitive behaviour therapy.

I’d recommend the gp. What you’re saying isn’t normal for you. The change is the problem and I would bet there’s an imbalance postpartum especially.

As you’re noticing it, you’re ready to get some help. Please do.