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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you contact your parents or do they contact you?

107 replies

Tiredofbeingtiredtoday · 14/08/2025 18:01

Or a bit of both?

Have realised if I don’t contact them every week, then it’s around two weeks until mum will eventually message to see how we are

Is this normal?

OP posts:
AngelicInnocent · 14/08/2025 18:14

I send DS and DIL tiktoks and we have a family group chat that everyone posts in. I also tend to message my DIL once or twice a week to see how shes doing (she has a stressful job and her own mum doesn't tend to bother).

Otherwise I try not to bother them too much as they've only been married a year and dont need me annoying them.

Tiredofbeingtiredtoday · 14/08/2025 18:13

Littletreefrog · 14/08/2025 18:10

If I didn't contact my parents they wouldn't bother contacting me. I tried it out once and we got to 3 months before I caved and called them.

That’s upsetting, did you ask them why they didn’t contact you?

I don’t know who is Supposed’ to 🤔

OP posts:
Chompingatthebeat · 14/08/2025 18:11

Both

Littletreefrog · 14/08/2025 18:10

If I didn't contact my parents they wouldn't bother contacting me. I tried it out once and we got to 3 months before I caved and called them.

Tiredofbeingtiredtoday · 14/08/2025 18:08

R0ckandHardPlace · 14/08/2025 18:05

I contact her. In fact, I used to call her every day so I started to back off and see how often she’d call me if I didn’t make the effort. In the past seven years she has called me once, to tell me that my uncle had died.

I text her every week, and visit once a fortnight.

Does that bother you?

I can’t imagine in the future not messaging my Dd to see how she is

OP posts:
R0ckandHardPlace · 14/08/2025 18:05

I contact her. In fact, I used to call her every day so I started to back off and see how often she’d call me if I didn’t make the effort. In the past seven years she has called me once, to tell me that my uncle had died.

I text her every week, and visit once a fortnight.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 14/08/2025 18:03

Mixture of both.