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Original poster

Torn on attending a wedding with a positive covid test

370 replies

Raveien · 14/08/2025 17:35

Hello All,

Just looking for advice really, I've been feeling under the weather with cold symptoms after going to a festival and I did a covid test today and its positive. My partner has done a test and is negative. We're both due to travel up country tomorrow, for a wedding on Saturday. I don't know the couple, I am meant to be meeting them for the first time during this wedding. My partner has another covid test that he'll take tomorrow.

I had my partner message the groom to let him know, and he's said for both of us to come anyways, and to just not make a big song and dance for testing positive, he's said about 90 people are going and the chances of someone else having it, irregardless of me, is quite high. My partner will still go without me, I think, but has said he'll be sad without me there, and is of the opinion that if the groom is fine with it, I should still go. But of course, there could be people in attendance who are vulnerable.

However I feel really torn, because my best friend has said she'll be really disappointed in me if I go, and that I don't know these people, so technically I won't be missing out on much - which is true. She said if I was asymptomatic that would be different, but I do have common cold symptoms, but they are manageable with cold and flu medicine.

Just seeking some advice really, if the groom had of said 'she can't come with covid' it would have been so much easier, but now I'm torn between my partner and the groom saying to come, and my best friend saying it would be the wrong thing to do. Would it be unreasonable for me to still go?

OP posts:
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7
Goldengirl123 · 15/08/2025 11:21

I understand how you fell but tbh I would feel angry at someone attending something I was at if they tested positive. I am vulnerable and could become very ill (again) if I caught it

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 11:19

Anotherbeeloudglade · 15/08/2025 00:44

Thank you, this was a while back and he did make a recovery, I should have made that clear, but it was a bad and scary time. It really is a lottery, unfortunately, you just cannot predict who will get really sick and who won't. I do think it is less likely now that we've all been exposed to it for years and it does seem to have mutated - but I still wouldn't go to a wedding in the full knowledge I had Covid. And this narrative that Covid is just a cold is ill educated and dangerous nonsense, I wish that myth would just go away

Show quote history

Why would you think it less likely now. When people in this thread have posted about their relatively recent experiences. The life changing affect it's had on formerly very fit ! Healthy people. Not 'just' the vulnerable.it was awful what happened to your husband, but at least he recovered, many have long Covid now try reading posts from

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow
@Delatron
@Sea25
@Greedybilly

RampantIvy · 15/08/2025 11:15

Coffeetime25 · 15/08/2025 10:42

are COVID tests still a thing did u get your loo rolls and pasta stocked up

They are for people who care about vulnerable people close to them, yes.

Not everyone is as callous, uncaring, thoughtless and selfish as you are Hmm

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 11:10

Anotherbeeloudglade · 14/08/2025 23:47

Obviously, it's not the common cold, or even the flu. It has definitely mutated, but I had Covid twice - despite being 3 x vaxxed and will never get another vaxx for it but that's another story. Both times I was very ill for a month, the first time I should have been hospitalised as I could not breathe properly and had to sit up in a chair to sleep, but at that point the hospitals were literally queuing people up outside and I was too ill to wait for hours on a deck chair outside a hospital. The second time, I lost my sense of smell completely and it took a year to come back.

So no, it's not and never has been the common cold.

However, it is unlikely to make anybody as sick as that now. But you have tested, and told other people you have tested so if anybody becomes really ill you will get the blame and you will never know if it was your fault.

I'd stay home.

Try reading the pists by
@ArseInTheCoOpWindow
@Delatron
@Sea25
@Greedybilly
and others whose lives have been hugely affected by Covid recently

EmeraldDreams73 · 15/08/2025 10:47

Difficult one, if you're not symptomatic I'd follow guidelines myself which I think means go, but I'd definitely wear a mask around others and sanitise hands a lot. I'd also make sure I sanitised handles etc at the Air bnb and disposed of tissues carefully.

If you do have significant symptoms tomorrow I wouldn't go personally, I'd still go to the accommodation but would clean like mad upon leaving and keep windows open all the time.

Coffeetime25 · 15/08/2025 10:42

are COVID tests still a thing did u get your loo rolls and pasta stocked up

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:41

Timeforacuppanow · 14/08/2025 21:56

I voted unreasonable because you did a test. You don’t need to but once you have - and told people the result - there will always be people who say you shouldn’t go. But people need to realise we’ve come a long way since 2020.

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:34

Katieandmikeysittinginatree · 14/08/2025 21:10

It really isn’t!

Show quote history

Read @ArseInTheCoOpWindow post at 21.05 then say it's not.

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:32

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/08/2025 21:05

Mine was also mild.

Perfect blood pressure, heart rate. Fit and healthy.

Now in my 3rd year of LC. I can now wash myself and potter about a bit. Was unable to wash, cook, use screens, read, talk, get dressed.

People are so fucking blase

Edited
Show quote history

Yes they are & so fucking rude as well 'cold' 'quaint' 'pathetic' it makes me SO angry that they're so selfish & so carefree with other people's lives.

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:24

JLou08 · 14/08/2025 20:34

Are you staying out of shops, pharmacies, work? There are vulnerable people everywhere, some who could get seriously ill from the common cold. We don't just pause our lives for every sniffle though do we? I'd have the same response as the groom if a guest at my wedding had covid.

Being as selfish & ignorant as the grim really isn't anything to crow about. Have you actually read any of the post by fit heathy people whose lives have been completely changed by Covid, not a cold, not a sniffle. Covid, the 3m people suffering long term. Luves changed beyond recognition? Seemingly not! Wouldn't want to be minority inconvenienced by the truth would you.

MasterBeth · 15/08/2025 10:19

Mermaidsarereal · 14/08/2025 20:19

A lady I work with had it a couple of weeks ago, she came into work every day and didn't pass it on to anyone else. If you feel well enough, go to the wedding. If you feel rubbish, stay home.

How on earth do you know she didn't pass it on to anyone else?

Do you not understand the concept of assymptomatic transmission?

LancashireButterPie · 15/08/2025 10:18

Sundaymorningcalla · 14/08/2025 17:52

You've got a cold.

Do you feel well enough to go? If the answer is yes, go.

COVID is so 2020 and no one should test for it anymore. It's a cold.

A cold that killed my mother last year.
COVID, like flu, is serious for those that are immunocompromised, not that my mum was immunocompromised, she was independent, fit and active, just older.

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:17

Panicatthegarden · 14/08/2025 20:25

Surely the groom knows his guests so wouldn't be telling you to go if he had vulnerable people attending?

If you're feeling well enough I would probably go but I also wouldn't have taken a covid test either 🤷🏻‍♀️

No, people don't tell everyone if they're vulnerable, why would get. It's private medical information they may choose not to share.

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:14

Sea25 · 14/08/2025 20:24

Ex-long distance runner here- bed/housebound since 2022 after a mild covid infection (was just like a bad cold). What I didn’t know about is the damage to my lungs/heart/nervous system that has meant I can no longer wash myself, cook or work.

Despite this, I’m not eligible for boosters (they have very stringent criteria so don’t rely on ‘vulnerable people will have had boosters’ mentality).

Please don’t risk someone’s future, especially when you know you’ve got covid. It’s like taking a child with chickenpox to a wedding/event.

But it's just a cold!

🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

I'm sorry you're suffering so badly xx idiots will just keep spouting the myths because they're very selfish people, who don't care about the impact it could have on others.

I hope you do get some recovery from it xx

MasterBeth · 15/08/2025 10:10

Sundaymorningcalla · 14/08/2025 17:52

You've got a cold.

Do you feel well enough to go? If the answer is yes, go.

COVID is so 2020 and no one should test for it anymore. It's a cold.

It's not "a cold".

It is much more infectious than a cold and can produce much more serious symptoms than a cold.

Many people get very mild cold-like symptoms from it but not everyone. The fact that the OP has mild symptoms doesn't mean she couldn't pass on a serious form of the disease.

(I am amazed I still have to type this. People have very short memories.)

RampantIvy · 15/08/2025 10:05

MillyBar · 14/08/2025 19:31

People still take Covid tests? How quaint.

People still make fatuous comments.
How disagreeable and selfish.

Says more about them than the people who want to protect vulnerable members of the population by taking covid tests.

I took one three years ago because I had a dental appointment that day and had what I thought was a cold - it was covid. When I rang the dental practice they were extremely grateful that I had done so, and made another appointment for me.

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 10:03

MrsLizzieDarcy · 14/08/2025 19:58

What a load of scaremongering! It's a mild virus that countless people have these days without testing and there is no ban on mixing, the world has thankfully moved on since 2020. The vulnerable will have been vaccinated and if they're that medically vulnerable to a viral infection then they shouldn't be going to large gatherings of people. Go and enjoy the wedding.

I'll ignore most of your ignorance, but why should a vulnerable person stay home rather than a person with a contagious illness?

in this case, potentially the brides grandmother, sister who is on cancer treatment over some random she's never met??

BondAway25 · 15/08/2025 09:58

MillyBar · 14/08/2025 19:31

People still take Covid tests? How quaint.

🥱🫩🙄🤯

Eight8eight · 15/08/2025 08:39

I wouldn't. I know two people with Long Covid whose lives have completely changed.

Could you not just say you feel too unwell?

distinctpossibility · 15/08/2025 08:25

Why did you test if you dont plan to act on it?

Delatron · 15/08/2025 08:24

I hope people can see, from the amount of people purely just on this thread, healthy people, who now have long Covid - that it’s not ‘just a cold’

Colds don’t render 10% of those that catch them (of all ages and being healthy is no protection) ill for one year plus with such debilitating symptoms that they can’t leave the house.

I know all of you spouting ‘oh it’s just a cold’ think it won’t happen to you. But it’s happening to perfectly healthy people at an alarmingly high rate.

I was in the ‘it’s just a cold brigade’ a few years ago. My second Covid infection I barely felt! I was just a bit tired for a few days. I thought I had Covid nailed and that I had built immunity. But no. This latest strain has evolved and I’m sure future ones
do. Unfortunately Covid is not just a cold, it can turn very nasty for lots of people.

Sirzy · 15/08/2025 07:56

Those who are vulnerable are more than aware there is risk everywhere. It’s not a fun way to have to live.

But those who selfishly go about their business as normal, especially going to places they know will be busy, with no consideration for those they are passing things onto don’t help.

If people on the whole were a bit more considerate then the spread of things could be slowed.

Sundaymorningcalla · 15/08/2025 07:47

Nearly50omg · 14/08/2025 18:07

Covid is flu. It’s not a basic cold

Show quote history

Totally wrong, different viruses completely.

One can have the flu and have no symptoms, no two people are the same.

FrenchandSaunders · 15/08/2025 07:20

I think the groom is right … they’ll be others there who have Covid, either knowingly or not.

Unless vulnerable people don’t leave the house, they are going to come into contact with it.

Those days are over, if you feel well enough OP then go.

Myblueclematis · 15/08/2025 07:03

I had Covid at the beginning of July, the only reason I tested was I was going to a lunch with 20 other people, most of them quite elderly and one recently had undergone a major heart operation. I actually thought I had a summer cold but obviously I didn't.

I also was not very well with it and I am pretty sure that I would not have gone even if I hadn't tested. No way would I have put other more vulnerable people at risk.