15yo dd didn’t call on my birthday

Really really eon't worry. I'm impressed she remembered to text!

It's a good thing that she is having too much fun on her camp to be ringing you. I'd be more concerned if she was spending all her time ringing/messaging. This is the prime age for moving focus away from the family unit and to her friends. You should be glad that is happening - it can be a problem if it doesn't.

I agree that it means she is confident and not clingy and needy! It doesn’t mean she loves you any less, just that she’s busy doing her thing with her mates. Although it feels hard I think it means you have an actually done an amazing job of raising her. 15 year olds aren’t known for their sense of duty and empathy. Don’t give it another thought

It's not like her daughter forgot. She texted to wish her mum happy birthday.

This.
You need to get over yourself and get some interests of your own and not being so inward looking.

It's probably not that easy for your daughter to ring you, rather than text. They'll have planned activities that she has to join in with, and she'll be enjoying herself with her friends. And she may not have enough signal to make a voice call anyway.

As others have said, be glad you have brought up a confident young lady who can take part in group activities wholeheartedly and isn't sitting glued to her phone or feeling homesick

If you don't work and you're always with them then there may well take you for granted. You need to become your own person with a life of your own and they are more likely to respect you as they grow into adults.

I understand why you’re upset, but she didn’t forget did she? She texted you, wished you a happy birthday and said she’d call - she likely got distracted in the evening. If you find it this upsetting, maybe don’t send her away over your birthday?

Happy birthday. Teens are different and needing to be in constant contact with their parents isn’t necessarily a healthy sign. DD remembered your birthday so she does have you in mind, but then probably got involved in something that made it hard to phone, then forgot. She’s individuating which is a great sign. You’ve done well!

I think you mentioned that you are always with your children and you don't work - that may be the reason why they don't call you. I used to call my mum every after school to let her know I got home safely - I maintained this routine to a much lesser extent in my early adult life. However, there was a period when she wasn't working was a home all the time - I never called or checked in as she was always around. Maybe you centre yourself too much around your family.

She is clearly lacking a lot of maturity.
No, kids should not be glued to their phones at camp. But remembering her mum's milestone birthday and taking 5 minutes to call you (when she said she would) is all part of being a grown up.
But no, it's all me me me and how much fun she is having isn't it?

Congratulations! You have confident self assured and happy kids he don’t feel the need to run to you every two seconds. At 15 they are at peak selfishness. This will continue for a few years. Once she’s back from camp have a specific birthday party, or cake cutting, and make it clear to your husband that you expect him to Get them to play their part.

Why don’t you go out with your husband? Or go away for breaks etc without the kids?? You need to start- you’re entitled to a life! Start to focus more on yourself and your marriage @Ethina

My 15 yr old doesn't even speak to any of us in the same house! Unless he wants to educate us about something he's seen online.

Dd only texts for permission to do things.

If any of us go away without the other (work trip/ holiday), we don't really tend to message. No need, if everyone's happy.

Fwiw, I didn't even speak to my dad on his 50th. No idea what he'd done, but i was fumming(!) With him.

I would have called my DM when I was 15. I’m pretty certain that neither of my DSs would have called me though - I’d have been satisfied with a text. Not sure what that says about my parenting!

OP, she’s having a great time at camp. I’d focus on the positives - she’s not crying down the phone wanting to come home. She is building independence and a love of the outdoors and getting on well with others. She sent a birthday text - let that be enough this year.

@Ethina if it helps, I doubt the teenagers who are constantly texting their parents are particularly missing them or having meaningful conversations.

A snapshot of the messages I get from my teenagers:

"Are you going to the shop?"
"Can I cook insert whatever they've seen in the fridge"
"What did you ask me to do before you left?"
Or some sort of logistics update around work / college / social stuff

Only my 9 year old calls because he misses me or to tell me he loves me.

@gamerchick

OP doesn’t want them to constantly call her, FFS - she wants a call to acknowledge her 50th birthday! It’s the least her offspring could do!

Definitely not just you. My teens don't initiate any contact when away so we send a hello have a good day message each morning and they reply.

What is it like when they're all home? That's the key. We have good chats and nice times together when they're home and not rushing off with their mates but almost nothing when they're away. I tell myself if it was going badly they would be calling lots.

My older children are in their early 20s. They don’t send my birthday cards or Mother’s Day cards. They just call. I do find it a bit upsetting, especially as I’m single so it’s not like I’ve got anyone else remembering the day.

Have to disagree - my son (now a 6'3 man) always gives me a birthday card & lovely presents that he knows I will love (and no, we are not 'rich') - the first card (that he did by himself) said " To my dire mumy, i lof yu' -",with a picture he drew of me looking like a manatee, mind you, that was last year lol - no - when he was about 4, ha! - I have framed it, much to his embarrassment - but in reply to your question, you have raised your children to be confident and ready for the 'world' - so, job done. She did remember, just maybe not quite at the right time. Happy Birthday x 🌹

Absolutely this. From the point of view of the texting generation, she had wished you a happy birthday, she hadn’t forgotten, so job done. While I agree a call would have been better, I don’t think her not calling is a massive fail.

You never going out, etc, is your problem you need to deal with. That’s far more unhealthy than your happy confident kids braving the world independently and without being smothered by you. That’s a sign you’ve raised them well, not badly.

Yes, lots of them are like this. Selfish f*wits.

My daughter was at camp on my birthday too. I did not expect a phone call. They gave a bit of free time but it’s an overwhelming experience and they need that free time to recharge.

FFS! "15yo dd". Just stop there. You're lucky she's even on speaking terms with you! 😀

This 💯. It might be upsetting for you but try not to show it. She’s establishing friendships and becoming independent which is all as it should be. She loves you but she’s 15. Be grateful you have such a wonderful daughter and don’t try to manipulate her. Also happy birthday hope you had a good time.

This. How long has she been at camp?

She didn't ignore you. She sent a text. She is doing exactly what most teenagers do that have been brought up to be independent and fulfilled. She's away, she remembered. She will catch up with you when she's back