Should I just feel sorry for her or was she just using me?

You need better boundary's. I wouldn’t even do what you did for a friend. You was about to eat your dinner and had things to do so you should not of dropped them to run to her . but it’s literally not your fault she’s sad, got hammered , flirting and that.

You are right to decide to leave the shop. You can volunteer anywhere.

This manager has no right to ask you to do such a thing.

Something good can always be redeemed from the bad. Now that you have had this experience, you will recognise it when you see it again.

Next time, if there ever is, just offer to pick up the parcel for her.

dear @Bluegem7 , it sounds like you live in a small or smallish town or even a country village? To access no-cost or low-cost counselling you could start with your GP, which would probably entail a waiting list, but you'd (eventually) get a series of (probably 6) sessions to help you learn to be a bit more assertiveness and at least begin to address your handicap of being a "people pleaser". Or you could look around (try Googling) to see if there are any low-cost therapies in your area. The charity "Mind" often give placements to therapists in training, which enables people to have low/no- cost counselling. Failing that, see if your local authority runs any courses on Assertiveness Training. Possibly, also, the people who run the charity in whose shop you volunteer may be able to give you a pointer. It is never too late to improve your ability to stand up for yourself, learn to say "no", and be clearer in expressing your ideas, wants and needs. You'll benefit enormously from the process. Meanwhile, see if you can find other social outlets: book group?; choir?; gardening club?; dog-friendly walking club? "Cast your bread upon the waters" and see if you can't find some much nicer (& soberer) people to make friends with.
Good luck to you, OP. Honestly, it's never too late to start a new life.
Meanwhile, treat yourself to a copy of the book: "A Woman In Your Own Right: Assertiveness and You" by Anne Dickson. You'll find it very cheaply on AwesomeBooks and World of Books.

You are now enabling this woman and she will do it again.

She might not take advantage of you, but by keeping it secret from your workplace, she can still take advantage of other co-workers.

You are not helping anyone by keeping her actions secret, no matter how well intentioned you are.

She isn't a nice person like you.
She won't change because she has no reason to, and she feels no shame for being the person she is.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You are a good person that would be there for anyone in need. It's the person that took/takes advantage of you that should feel shame.

First post nails it as usual!

OP - I’m saying this kindly…… you need your head examining!

Never, ever do a favour for anyone ever again!!

and then she wanted to go to the local pub and although I wasn't keen I said ok,

thanks for the invite but not tonight
thanks for the invite but I have plans
thanks for the invite but I’m not in the mood and don’t drink

I think you should let her know that this is never happening again, and ask that she keeps contact to work only.

@Bluegem7

I know I need counselling for lack of confidence/assertiveness but don't know where to start looking. I can't afford to go privately.

I understand: it's expensive. At the very least, try to learn from this episode that you are probably too soft on other people, you need to put yourself first more and that you need to trust your own instincts about people's motives.

Also that guilt and obligation are completely redundant if there is no reciprocation. You owed this woman nothing. Next time this happens, learn that when you start feeling uncomfortable, its OK to be uncomfortable and act on it.

I voted YABU for being such a mug! Why on earth did you go back to the pub after going home to take your dog out??? That’s just bizarre of you! 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

If you leave
you’ll lose out
you admit you have limited social interaction otherwise

Come again?

either way, channel some of that feistiness in to your RL interactions

She might have done the same to others. Hence the instruction not to tell anyone. Don't be feeling used, feel angry instead. You sound like a lovely person.

Sounds like a rough night OP. YANBU to be upset and it is to your credit that you were a good friend to her and made sure she was looked after in her condition. Personally though I would just chalk it up to experience, accept her apology and move on. You know not to agree to take her anywhere in the future!

I think you're getting a bit of a kicking here OP, some of it a bit unnecessary, and you are obviously a very kind person. But what's frustrating is that you seem to have no idea of where your responsibility towards other people ends and your obligation to look after yourself starts.

This woman is obviously very troubled and has a horrible life, so whether she used you or not is kind of irrelevant: she obviously is desperate for friendship and affection wherever she can find it.

But at no point in the five plus hours you were being dragged around to various drinking holes did you think "this is not my problem" and bailed out. I would probably have drawn the line after Tesco, certainly after the first drink in the pub. Many people wouldn't even have taken her to Tesco. Yet you were still, at beyond pub closing time, being roped into her drama. Ultimately she's nothing to you: she's not even a friend.

People like this will always draw you as far as they can take you. You need to develop a much more acute sense of self-protection and learn to say no to people.

I think

one off pissed evening with profuse apologies - no, shouldn’t be reported (not that there would be any consequences)

the OP is clearly very vulnerable and also seems very socially isolated with very limited intervention with others. I think she’d be cutting her nose off to spite her face if she jacked in this position.

Well if the op is “clearly vulnerable” then they will probs my be more concerned about this 73 year old very “vulnerable” volunteer

I would be furious if it was me but don't waste any more time on feeling angry and questioning yourself, just take it as a lesson learnt. If she calls again make sure you are not available for any favours. Asking for a lift on a Sunday evening is cheeky enough but the rest is just nuts! She showed you no consideration and you owe her nothing, if you need to confide in a friend do it! Also who is she trying to hide it from? Sounds like her husband knows what she is like and the whole town saw her drunken debauchery. The more I type the more questions it raises

And Op is clearly vulnerable. Which is also why she needs to report it. It remains quite possible that the manager may continue to be unprofessional and the op may not know how to deal with it or need further support.

“Dropped everything”

oh for goodness sakes OP. Adult up

I wouldn’t report on the basis of one evening which was followed up by profuse apologies the next morning

mind you… not one thing the Op did that night I would have done. Odd from start to finish