Mum says IABU using some of DD’s bits for baby boy due soon

Your mum is an idiot.

"Any advice on how to handle this?"

Tell your mother to keep her nose out?

She’s being ridiculous. This must be so annoying. X

I've got five kids. By the time it got to number five, she had almost nothing new and everything passed down from her two older brothers and two older sisters. It was a very mix-and-match approach.

She's now 29 and appears totally unaffected by not growing up having everything new and pink.

Your mother is being utterly ridiculous ffs!
DS wore vests, babygrows, hand knitted cardigans and jumpers, just about everything DD wore except for dresses and he wore pink babygrows too.
DD had a number of ‘boys’ clothes that a friend gave me and I think she pretty much wore everything.

Point out to your mother that it is adding to pollution to throw away good items and buy new. She is obviously not very ecologically aware. The throw away society will damage the planet for your children. Shame her.

Um no, check the expiry date as that sounds quite old now. The plastic in those does actually expire and the integrity cannot be guaranteed. They sit in hot cars with lots of son and then freezing cold as well. Plastic gets brittle. It snaps.

Your mum is an absolute loon. Re-use everything! She really just sounds stupid.

Every single baby in my family from my grandparents to my mum, her siblings, theirs kids, my and my sisters my kids and my cousin’s kids have all used the same modest basket. It’s been passed down and passed around as needed, new mattress bought each time. Luckily no one has needed it at the same time as another, but every family member on my mum’s side 5 generations now has used that basket.

Clothes and toys and muslins, well my god! Don’t just bin them. Use them till they’re used out. She must be so wasteful.

Your mum is just an idiot. Sorry.

I used my friends infant car seat (after her 2 babies) for the 3 times I have needed it so far for my little ones - and have also lent it to 2 other local mums so they didn't have to spend £100+ for a couple of car trips. As long as you know the history its fine.

Your mum sounds strange.

I did exactly the same as you.

Send her round to mine, I’m due a similar time to you and also having a boy. I’m using my cousins pink Moses basket, pink bottom sheets and sleep bags because she isn’t using it currently and I don’t see the point in buying new when that’s fine. She’s also given me all of her babies vests to go under his clothes and they have little flowers on them. She would have a heart attack seeing mine! I’ve also got some of her clothes for him but they are more unisex. I’m the same, I could afford new but what’s the point.

your mum is bonkers - my son wore a lovely selection of pink onesies from his sister and who in their right right minds buys new stuff for they subsequent children unless worn out? (mattresses aside).

my daughter actually inherited a load of boys clothes from a friend and so lived in a lot of blue boys things for a while as well. Those clothes has already been through about 3 other children.

She's a twat, mate. Ignore

You mother, politely, is a moron. Baby stuff barely gets used/worn half the time - I had my eldest son in hand me downs from a friend with 2 kids, which were hand me downs from someone else and I still use those for my daughter. Why waste money/unnecessarily burden the environment and make your life complicated when you have perfectly fine stuff. I've also just given all those hand me downs (that after 6 babies ++ are still in great shape) to another friend who is delighted. We are all perfectly capable of affording new stuff but why would you be so wasteful.

I remember this from my 2. My now 11yr old boy was very much put in his sisters clothes... pink nappies (reusable!) Baby grows and vests as well as every other colour.

I also remember my mother objecting to my dd in blue "as shes a girl"... she was a puker 5+ changes a day not unusual we had every colour I could get my hands on.

I've had similar from her this year as ds starts secondary and has a load of second hand uniform... its all badged, expensize and unisex! So why on earth would I not reuse it!

I'm careful to make sure he doesn't get all hand me downs... but the cost saving does make his interest in a certain sports brand much more affordable....

My niblings and their cousins have all gone through the same set of clothes and baby items (beds etc) each time with bare minimum repurchase of new items outside of the usual gifts for babies. That's four babies, 2 boys and 2 girls, and then they'll be given away to others afterwards. Please don't let her upset you, they're in them for such a short amount of time.

Indeed. I meant more in terms of boys not having pink items.

Most people reuse stuff - friends and family reuse stuff multiple times! Obviously not dirty stuff. It’s all normal, healthy and not only saves money but good for the environment. Babies do not care about colours.

What doesn’t sound healthy or normal is your mother’s constant interference, criticism and almost joy sucking attitude. Does she always have to be right? I know you say she’s a good grandmother but tbh I’d be worried how she’ll be as children grow. I think you could do with asserting some boundaries with her.

OP, I’ve got 3 young DC, 2 boys and 1 girl, and I have reused EVERYTHING. My youngest son wore pink, girly, flowery onesies for the first 3 months of his life. No one said a word or thought he was a girl. Even if they did, who cares?

We reused car seats and beds, bedding (washed it first obviously), muslins, towels… I kept everything in Ikea storage boxes in our basement, labelled with each month. We’re stopping at 3 DC, so I’m slowly giving away all the clothes, baby bouncers etc. to ladies from my church who are expecting.

I have found that some people are really strange about reusing things, or using second-hand things with babies. I’ve had some ladies from church politely decline, or quietly donate the bag of clothes to charity without using any of the clothes.

Youre giving way too much headspace to what your DM thinks. I understand, its taken me a long time to stop doing this with my parents.

Your DH is right, don’t give it any more headspace.

Your mum is bonkers. My DS1 has passed all his stuff after two kids to DS2. Not only is DS2 saving a fortune, he is saving the planet. Has she never heard of recycling?

Who cares if some random stranger thinks you have a girl instead of a boy? Everyone you care about will know the sex. Honestly this stuff makes me exhausted.

A small baby being mistaken for a small girl baby - oh the horror, the emotional scarring with life long consequences. We must all jump into action and buy more baby stuff to prevent this terrible wrong from taking place

(jokes obvs, your mother is being completely ridiculous. Your original instincts that it doesn't matter are completely correct. Fight capitalism and the patriarchy and tell her to do one)

She is being ridiculous. Surely everyone keeps things for siblings or passes to friends and family? Money saving, better for the environment and also memories of the other child using the same things.

She's being ridiculous, ignore her, you're doing what most normal people would do.

I deliberately bought stuff for my first that could be reused and take pride in how little i've had to buy for number 2. They are going to inherit the planet and would probably rather it wasn't stuffed with unnecessarily duplicated stuff.

Reusing things, looking after them, extending their life and donating them is something to be proud of. I'd turn it back on her and look aghast when she suggests you buy a new moses basket, be morally superior towards her and see how she likes it.

You’re doing a great job.

I suspect that ignoring is hard, I’d say ‘ok, thanks for that’ you don’t have to do any of it.

I’ve deployed this in so many situations. It’s really hard to argue with someone saying ‘thank you’. Then change the subject onto them and mentally plan all the things you need to do, that actually matter.