Mum says IABU using some of DD’s bits for baby boy due soon

Doesn't your DM realise that the planet is sinking under tonnes of rubbish and landfill - is she of that wasteful generation too young to be brought up by make do and mend parents and too old to be of the repair, reuse or recycle generation.
I am pleased to see my new born granddaughter wearing the clothes her elder cousins aunties and uncles wore and equipment they used (perhaps not car seats as much).

Short answer, you don’t need to buy more stuff. Your baby will be happy with you whatever colour cloth you use to wipe up its puke.

Slightly longer answer: I’d be thinking longer term what effect having your DM in your life is doing, and has done, for your self-esteem. And please remember that at some point, she will transfer that criticism and judgement onto your children. She obviously can’t help it. My DM made me feel like I was doing something wrong for most of my life - when I visited her one day and she criticised my DC’s accent (we live in a different part of the country), that was the last time I took them there. I’ve since gone NC.

Enjoy your pregnancy, and your children. Your mum is a knob.

My mum bought me loads of stuff for my son from charity shops and she even bought him a pink Minnie Mouse sleepsuit - didn’t bother me at all! Who cares 🤣

Absolutely, do not buy a new moses basket. What a waste

lol I have a 2 year old DD and a 12 week old DS and he uses her natural wicker Moses basket, next to me crib and infant carrier. Why would we buy new?! He also sleeps in her Love to Dream swaddle suits (they’re expensive!) but one of them is pink 😂 I still sometimes call him Princess by accident. Most of DD’s clothes were neutral colours so he wear them too. They are both May babies!

She sounds overly controlling and too interfering

My son wore my niece's tights as a baby as he was always kicking off his socks and bootees[ it was winter]
Health visitor [very old-fashioned] thought it was genius. Sorry but your Mum is batshit and wasteful.

It’s totally normal to reuse baby items and clothes as long as they are safe and clean. Your mother is ridiculous.

More people should do the same as you op you sound a practical, thoughtful person. Ignore your mum

Please don't let this upset, you, I used DDs stuff for DS, having lent it to a friend in between the two. The whole kit ! except car seat.
she returned the stuff laundered & it saved me a fortune.
Love seeing my kids in photos in the same dungarees etc !
Just say to your mother, "Ive got lots of other stuff"... then change the subject

Pink was the colour for boys until Queen Mary had a son and to confuse the press/media she left the hospital with him dressed in blue.Hence since then the UK followed suit and now pink is for girls .
Also I don’t have children I applaud you for being sensible and not kowtowing to buy everything new and I agree and most mothers would? the first 3 months babies growing so fast and having to change every few hours, why would you have cutesy outfit for them to be sick on and poo in .
you stick to your guns and kill your mum with kindness, be over the top with very nice and thank yous and wow that’s a great idea mum . She won’t know how to respond and hopefully it will defuse clashing .
im like that with people who really work my buttons, it’s a great game !
good luck with the safe arrival of your baby boy and think tickled pink next time you see you mum 😜

I can’t seem to edit my post but I meant muslins. Not Muslims. 🤣

Honestly, your mum is being ridiculous. My mum had 3 babies in the 70s. Everything was hand me downs from friends and relatives. I think the only thing she bought new was the big Silver Cross pram, which was her pride and joy. That may well have been a gift from the grandparents.

I think the PP’s comments about the 1980s and 90s consumerism
might have a good point. Growing up in the 70s and early 80s was much more about Make and Do. There was a definite shift during the Thatcher years to greater consumerism in many aspects of life. Your DM may well be a product of that time as a parent.

Nowadays, there is much more of an emphasis on recycling and reusing which is a damn good thing.

Your mum is being silly.

I have three (4, 2, 0) - two boys and a girl. Current baby has had nothing new because he hasn’t needed it. He’s often mistaken for a girl when his pink broderie anglaise sun hat is sticking out of the baby carrier, but he is usually asleep and not getting his head sunburnt so I suspect he will survive! 😂

My MIL takes a similar approach to your mum and has really struggled to accept that we do not want a load of new things that we don’t need. It’s pretty rubbish for the environment to have three kids so I feel the least I can do is reuse. Plus, the pictures of them all in the same outfits are cute.

What your Mum is proposing is such a waste of money. So much stuff is being discarded for not being the right colour etc. OP, stick to your guns and your gut instinct. Charity shops are overrun with stuff and quite a few around us now aren't able to take any more items!

Your mother is being ridiculous

You are right and your mum is ridiculous. There’s no way I’d be replacing a Moses basket in white for a second child or a safe car seat! How silly. What a waste of money and resources! I prob would get some more Muslims like you have and would prob just use the pink ones at home but that’s me.

That's what I was talking about really. In 1948, post war people had very little and wpupd pass things down but babies probably all wore white then as nobody knew what sex their baby was and didn't until relatively recently. What about the Victorian boys in dresses? Pink was a boys colour then anyway I believe. The 80s and 90s were the decades of consumerism and capitalist excess when buying new became a thing.

Your mother is mad. HTH.

You sound like a lovely mum. Ignore her.

Honestly I used both new and hand-me-down stuff for my daughter and love passing stuff on now. The world has too much stuff and it all eventually goes into landfill! Reuse as much as you can!

My daughter wore blue, green, yellow, pink and white - once or twice people thought she was a boy but it has made no difference to her mental health. Your child will not know if things are new or not, it will make zero impact on their lives or your life!

I’m so sorry your mum decided to upset you this close to your due date. You have done absolutely nothing wrong, you sound like a great mum and a thrifty and responsible person in reusing anything you can for your new baby. I would get your DH to have a quiet word with her, politely telling her to back off, that you know what you’re doing and you don’t need to be stressed out by her silliness.

Enjoy your new baby!

She's being ridiculous. The baby doesn't care and it would be such a waste of you didn't reuse. We never bought anything new (most of what we used was handed down) beyond the first regardless of whether they were going to be a boy or girl. I did try to avoid the whole bink/blue thing, dressed them as neutrally as I could, although you can't help what other people gift you.

Your mums being ridiculous.

My mum can be the same way about a lot of things tbh I think she was always in hand-me-downs as a child and felt poor so that's where it comes from but I tell her to wise up.

Whats wrong in using the car seat? I've used the same car seat that I used for my 1st on my third.

Oh no! Things all your children use are much more well loved! Your daughter will really like that her new baby brother is in the same basket/pram/car seat she was. It’s a lovely family way of showing child development and sharing in a practical way.