Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum says IABU using some of DD’s bits for baby boy due soon

259 replies

baby2incoming · 14/08/2025 11:46

Hi everyone

I’m not going to drip feed so I’ll preface this by saying my Mum and I have a difficult relationship mostly, we are complete opposites in terms of personality and we’ve always clashed however she is a good Nan to DD and they have a great relationship so I stay civil for DD’s sake.

DD is 2, I’m due in 3 weeks with a baby boy.

Mum came over yesterday and I had his clothes and muslins etc drying ready to pack away and fill hospital bag.

Mum noticed that I had some pink muslins hanging to dry and asked me why as my 2yo no longer uses them, I said I was using for DS when he’s born (I have about 5 that aren’t stained and in perfect condition so they’ve been stored in case we ever had more). She told me I was ridiculous and couldn’t use pink muslins for a baby boy, I asked why and she got argumentative telling me people will assume he’s a girl bla bla, I explained I don’t really care to be honest, it’s to cover his neck if he dribbles milk/mop up any milky sick/swaddle him if it’s too hot for him to be swaddled in a blanket. She wasn’t happy and insisted she was going shopping to buy him some boy appropriate ones (what even is this?! He’s a baby for goodness sake). I have also topped up and bought some blue and white ones, I used to go through about 4 a day with DD as she was a sicky baby.

She then proceeded to ask me if that’s “all the babygrows and vests that I have for him and no outfits”. We’ve got 14 babygrows, 14 vests and 3 hats each in 3 different sizes (newborn mostly up to 8lb, up to 1 month mostly up to 11lbs and 0-3 months). We haven’t bought any outfits as DD’s were wasted, she was a May baby and lived in vests and babygrows for the first 3 months as it was what was most comfortable for her. I ended up giving most of her outfits away brand new with labels to the local mother and baby unit.

She is also aghast that we are reusing DD’s Moses basket (plain white and wicker), we’ve replaced the little mattress as like I said DD was a sicky baby so the mattress is fresh. I also haven’t bought a new changing mat or swing seat.

I ended up in tears last night to DH feeling guilty towards DS, I think hormones don’t help. DH told me to absolutely ignore her and if I did want to go and buy some new stuff like a new Moses basket then let’s do it as he didn’t want me upset, I don’t want to, we are fine for money so that’s not a factor I just would rather save it for days out etc rather than buy a load of stuff we’ve already got that’s in perfect condition.

Any advice on how to handle this? Am I wrong for reusing? This is 100% our last baby so once he’s grown out of all of this, it’ll all be going to charity anyway. Should I be buying more blue things?

OP posts:
Original poster
baby2incoming · 14/08/2025 11:56

TheNightingalesStarling · 14/08/2025 11:54

If you were dressing him in pink frilly dresses and massive bows she might have a point (although they are hideous on both sexes really) but muslins, bibs, vests etc? Who really cares what colour they are?

Oh absolutely not 😂 I personally really dislike bows and headbands on babies so DD never had them.

OP posts:
thecatsneedfeeding · 14/08/2025 11:55

Shes being ridiculous. I have more than one photo of my youngest in his older sisters clothes.

He was that much of a puker by the time I had changed his clothes for the 5th+ time thst day I couldn't have cared less what he was wearing. Like I said to someone 'its not like his willy will fall off'

Fedupwiththecuts · 14/08/2025 11:55

I used things for all 4 of mine. Part of the point of buying things was that I could reuse. I also had several friends who had babies around the same time and we used to swap and mix and match. Babies don't care and often they are in the outfits so little that they're in great condition!
She's being weird.

TheNightingalesStarling · 14/08/2025 11:54

If you were dressing him in pink frilly dresses and massive bows she might have a point (although they are hideous on both sexes really) but muslins, bibs, vests etc? Who really cares what colour they are?

Original poster
baby2incoming · 14/08/2025 11:54

HoppingPavlova · 14/08/2025 11:50

Don’t be silly. I used all my previous stuff when I had one of the opposite gender. Didn’t buy anything new as had enough stuff. They have no idea and who gives a shiny shit if a random stranger thinks they are the opposite gender?

Sadly we didn’t have a loft at the time DD was born so MIL kindly stored her clothes for us in her loft however FIL accidentally moved it to the shed when clearing out the loft and left it in there by mistake and a lot of it had mould so we had to throw and couldn’t reuse any this time around.

OP posts:
BigWillyHazyHarold · 14/08/2025 11:52

She's being a bit of a numpty. You're not supposed to use a car seat where you don't know the previous history but obviously that is irrelevant when you're the owner and know it!

It's important not to care too much about what she says when you know it's not right. Ignore and do what you think is best.

HoppingPavlova · 14/08/2025 11:50

Don’t be silly. I used all my previous stuff when I had one of the opposite gender. Didn’t buy anything new as had enough stuff. They have no idea and who gives a shiny shit if a random stranger thinks they are the opposite gender?

Original poster
baby2incoming · 14/08/2025 11:49

She’s also very critical that we are using DD’s infant car seat, it’s never been in an accident, was purchased brand new, has been wrapped and stored in our wardrobe so no mould and I had it professionally cleaned 2 weeks ago.

OP posts:
SheherazadesSpringNonsense · 14/08/2025 11:49

Your baby will not care what colour muslins are used (and in my experience as a mother of girls, people will assume babies are boys even if they are in flowery pink frocks!). Your mum is being ridiculous. And I don’t know anybody who would buy a new Moses basket for a second baby - surely the point of these items is that they are passed down and reused. Please ignore her